I think my marriage is over....15 weeks pregnant, with a 1 year old as well....at a loss....help?

Jennifer - posted on 06/27/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm currently 14 1/2 weeks pregnant with a 1 year old as well. Lately my husband and I just have not been getting along...we have zero affection, zero fun, zero understanding or respect for one another. I just returned to work from mat leave, and honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I'm so tired, and still quite sick, and my daughter hasn't been sleeping well (teething) so thats making me more tired. My husband is HORRIBLE at helping with night shifts, to the point he gets angry and agressive with me and our daughter. Never physical, but honestly it worries me that he will. He's off this week, and I'm working long hours. Last night I took my daughter to bed with me as shes teething bad, but sleeps better next to me. I'm working 9 - 7 today, so wanted to do what I could to get sleep. Well she tossed and turned and kept me up til 2, at which time i put her in her crib and gave him the monitor....WELL...when she woke he freaked, called me a a Stupid C*nt F*&k and told her to shut up when she was crying. He's not usually mean, but in the middle of the night hes just evil. We said we were going to try to show more support and understanding, but I just feel like its hopeless, and i'm terrified what will happen when 2nd baby comes....when I explain I'm exhausted, and need sleep, all he says is so do i....theres no support anymore, and I think its only a matter of time before we are done. I wish that weren't the case but I cannot live with zero support, and no one to rely on.


Louise - posted on 06/27/2012




Have one last ditch attempt to talk to him rationally. Wait until the baby is asleep and then ask him to come and talk to you.Tell him exactly as it is, that you are worried for the future and you want to try and put things right before they get to far broken. State what is upsetting you and then give him time to respond and talk things through. If he does not want to talk then there is no point in carrying on the relationship. I know this is not what you want to hear but it is the truth, if you have lost communication and all is left is resentment and anger there is no relationship worth saving there.

If you want to find out first what financial aid is available for you and where you could go if things get ugly, then wait a night or two. But honestly the sooner you have this chat the sooner you know where you stand. I wish you all the luck in saving your marriage, and if things are bad all the strength to do something about it. xx

Christina - posted on 06/27/2012




Hi Jennifer. I don't have any great words of wisdom, but I agree with Louise. Remember too that you are never "stuck" in any situation regardless on how hard it may to get out or get through. Maybe you could ask a friend or family member to watch your little one for a weekend to give you some time to regenerate. I wish you well! Christina


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User - posted on 06/27/2012




I'd definately look into family therapy/counciling. If you two aren't able to communicate well on your own, a third, impartial party that can help you two learn to better communicate and get to the root of your problems is an invaluable tool. Don't be afraid to seek such assistance, because an ounce of preventative is worth SO much more than a pound of cure!

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