Laura - posted on 12/29/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
But I just don't know how much more I can take.
I've been married to my husband for almost three years and we've been thru hell and back. In the years we've been together, he started off as an alcoholic and has now become a drug addict. We live separately and have for about 6 months now. He lives on the streets and my heart can't help but feel so sorry for him because he's my husband. I'm trying to do the right thing and continue to help him by giving him our car to sleep in and money when he needs to buy cigarettes, but I also can't help but resent him because he's made my life, and my children's lives, a living hell. We went from having everything, our own home and two jobs, to having nothing. I live with my mom with no money because I'm in school and everyday I fight my emotions on whether or not I should leave him. I know life would be easier if he was just out of it, but that's not why I got married. I didn't marry him knowing that I could just leave whenever I wanted. I vowed to be with him thru the thick and thin. But a person can only handle so much. Every week, I go thru an episode where I don't eat and can't sleep because all I do is worry about him and tell myself I need to let go. It's starting to take a toll on my interaction with my girls. My babies need me and I can't give them all of me because my heart is heavy and no one can offer me 'advice' without being bias and judgmental.