I've been married for 10 years and have 4 beautiful kids and I'm tired of the put downs and labels my husband gives me. He never admits when he is wrong he is always right and when I tell him something he is quick to point the finger and put words in my mouth. I try to stay calm most of the time to avoid the fighting but at this point theres no keeping me quiet anymore.Im tired of this! Ive tried to talk to him about his behavior but for some reason its always my fault with whatever went down. Hes told me to tell him next time he acts like this and when I do he points the finger again.

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Gigi - posted on 10/16/2014

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Hi Chet Mc
He doesn't believe in therapy at all..I've already asked him. There are too many to write but as far as an example goes I told him I was going to start talking the way he does so that he sees what I'm talking about. So if he says something I usually respond with Oh cause that's what he responds with and then he will raise his voice at me which he does a lot since he has such a short temper. I immediately tell him that's what I have to deal with when Im trying to talk to you. Then he switches the story a rounds points the finger at me saying I Dont care about what he's talking about and the list goes on and on...
I will be fine and happy and the minute he says something to me of course I react to it and he's not used to it because I used to just take it.
He has called me so many names mainly when he drinks and when he's sober he will say I manipulate him..which he say becauses there's times I want to do things like going to the zoo or museum as a family meaning just us I feel there's nothing wrong with that and he wants to include all of his family which there's about 12 of them and says I manipulate him because I want to do things " just us" mind you he sees them every Saturday for dinners and drinks. I don't mind hanging out with the family at all they are wonderful people. But he will get mad if he does not go over there because the kids want to go to the zoo or do something as a family. So he says I'm manipulative for that. I see nothing wrong with that. He also disrespects our kids and yells and puts them down as well. I've already tried leaving the relationship but he keeps saying he will change..there hasn't been a change and I'm feeling helpless and unhappy!

Chet - posted on 10/16/2014

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Is he willing to go to therapy to help you two communicate better?

Can you give some examples of issues that come up and how he "points the finger"?

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