I waited all my life for a baby only to be cheated on while pregnant

Denise - posted on 06/08/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Now I hate my life because all of the things I feared and tried to prevent all my life became my reality. I struggle with anger, depression and sometimes outwardly say that I hate my life. I just want to be better for my baby. She needs me. Her father doesn't even ask how shes doing nor does he help provide.

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Sarah - posted on 06/09/2016

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If she is quite young and has never spent time with him a would not think a judge would order you to hand her over to him overnight. If, he even requests visitation or partial custody, you can ask that it be started with supervised visits, they short alone visits and move on from there. You don't NEED and lawyer but it will be much easier if you do have one. If finances are an issue seek out a lawyer from your states Legal Aid website or call a women's crisis center for a referral.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2016

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Sadly without objective evidence to prove he is a danger, he may well get visitation. At least start moving forward with getting support and temporary custody.

Michelle - posted on 06/08/2016

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I know how hurtful it is to be cheated on while pregnant. My 1st husband did the same thing.
I suggest getting yourself some counselling as you need to work through all your feeling and build up your self esteem.
Also go to court and get custody, visitation and child support sorted out. You need to focus on your daughter, not what he isn't doing. You can't control that at all.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2016

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First, I think you need to consider if you have PPD. Not saying that getting cheated on won't bring you down, but it can be compounded by a chemical postpartum issue. She does need you so either need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and press on. Since you don't use the term husband, I presume you are not married? Regardless, you can consider counseling to either help the two of you work thru this, or if you leave him you can work on letting go of the anger so you can parent your child. No matter the outcome of your partnership; he is her father and he is obligated to support her. File in court for child support and get the money garnished from his wages and direct deposited into an account for her. She is entitled to that money, don't just set up some casual agreement as he can't be held accountable by law to that sort of plan. Also, file for custody, again in court. Offer him visitation, or shared custody and work out a plan you both agree upon. If he does not want to parent at all; fine get sole physical and legal custody of your child.

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Denise - posted on 06/09/2016

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This morning counseling session went well as I expected it would. One step in the right direction to start to heal from all the mental trauma caused by this situation.

Thank you all for responding and giving me advice. I'll update what happens when I go to court. If anyone has any experience with custody and child support please give me advice on how to go about it. Do I need an attorney right away or do I wait? Is the judge in favor of the mother this early in a child's life? Can the father get over nights at this point. I'm so not prepared for what lies ahead. Prayers are appreciated. Thank you ladies. ❤️

Aster302516 - posted on 06/08/2016

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I’m sorry you’re going through such a painful time, and I can understand your concern for your baby. It’s good to hear that you’ll be seeing a counselor. I hope you find the advice and comfort you’re seeking. Sending prayers your way. Hugs to you!

Denise - posted on 06/08/2016

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Coincedentily I'm going to see a counselor first thing in the morning and I have court next Thursday for child support and custody. I've tried to be nice, respectful and cordial but that didn't get me far. He hasn't seen my daughter in almost two months now. When we speak it's crazy manipulative and abusive. He's gone as far as have his new gf call my cell phone. My daughter doesnt even know him at this point. I don't even want him to see her without supervision. I don't trust my daughter is safe with him.

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