I walked in on my 13 year old daughter in the shower and she is VERY hairy down there. Should I tell her to shave?
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Denikka - posted on 10/15/2012
I wouldn't bring it up at all. Honestly, it's none of your business.
If SHE feels the need to start grooming, she will. Maybe she's okay with being all natural.
The ONLY time I would bring it up would be if she's in a bathing suit frequently. That's the reason I started shaving. It can be something a person doesn't realize, but it can be awkward at times. Other than it being obvious while wearing clothes (generally bathing suit, leotard is she's in gymnastics, etc), I wouldn't bring it up. She'll make her own decisions when it's right for her.
No you shouldn't. It's her body and when she feels the need to start using hair removal she will either come to you or she will just do it on her own. If you draw attention to it you may make her feel bad about it. Besides, pubic hair isn't dangerous nor is it offensive so it is ok where it is until she decides otherwise.
Ariana - posted on 10/14/2012
Um, I wouldn't bring it up right now, right after you've walked in on her. You probably should be trying to talk to her about this type of stuff anyway. She's going to know why you're telling her if you just suddenly start saying she needs to shave her vaginal area.
I would wait a bit and try to bring up some other topics. You might want to try to have an open line to talk about a variety of things. If you do talk to her explain to her that some people shave themselves or wax or choose not to at all, instead of telling her this is what she should do.
I don't know how you could but sometimes talking to teens about other people or other situations is easier than bringing up a topic directly to them. So watching a movie with people getting trashed (or something like that) and making comments about being responsible, or how irresponsible it is to drink and drive, gets heard better then sitting a kid down and telling them don't do this etc etc.
Like I said, not sure how that could come up into conversation any other way...If you talk to her about it try not to make it into a big deal, wait at least a couple weeks before saying anything, and give her the facts of what people do in general rather than, you're hairy and need to shave. That way she can decide on her own what she wants to do.
I would work on having a more open relations about her body and sex and things, or as much as you can depending on how comfortable she is about these things.
Liz - posted on 10/15/2012
Armpits, yes. Pudenda, er...why? There's nothing wrong with having pubic hair and nobody 'needs' to shave there just because they're hairy. It can cause more trouble, such as follicle infection and irritation...and that's NOT a nice area to get such issues in. It's also none of your business unless she asks you first.
Dove - posted on 10/15/2012
You shouldn't tell her to shave, but it's a good conversation to have. I'm not sure how you should bring it up in your house though. We are very 'open doors' in our house and these topics naturally come up quite frequently.
I bring things up to my kids all the time because none of this stuff was EVER brought up to me. I was raised in a very 'closed doors' family and I suffered a LOT through my preteen and teenage years because of it. All the body knowledge I had came from a book or from friends. It was way too awkward to ever talk to my parents because they didn't make it just a normal, casual part of life. I've done things very differently with my kids because of how I was raised.
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