I want more kids but the father dosent

Cali - posted on 05/24/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm 18 and i was pregnant for five months and then i lost it but the father of my daughter dose not want anymore after this happen. all i have wanted was to be a mom is it bad if i still want to have kids. i just cant see myself without him i have been with him for a year and two months and he is the father of my first child. i wanted a family with him and everything. i just need to know do i stay and not have kids anymore or do i leave and see if i find another man to have kids with.

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Jodi - posted on 05/27/2014

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Well, if you are only staying with someone on the basis that you have a child together soon, then maybe you are actually with him for the wrong reasons. It sounds to me like this is still very recent. You need to give it some time, and allow HIM some time to process this. Have the two of you considered counselling? If you truly love him, you wouldn't consider leaving him over this, you would give him the space he needs to grieve first (and remember, everyone grieves differently) and you would consider counselling together.

Cali - posted on 05/26/2014

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I'm just wanting to know about staying with him because I have know him for much longer then a year I have know him for like fours years. he anted to have kids but I just think maybe because of this happening it has scared him of having kids. all he wanted was her all I wanted was her and we just don't understand why this happened to us but I'm dealing with day by day with the help of my family but he doesn't even want to talk bout it or her and it breaks my heart. I just want some help to about staying with him or moving on I mean he will always be the father of my first kid my little baby girl. I'm not man hunting at all.

Jodi - posted on 05/24/2014

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I also agree with everything Evelyn said. And to add to that, I am assuming your boyfriend is also relatively young. He's probably not ready for kids. You need to slow down. You have years and years ahead of you to be a parent. He is probably feeling you are rushing things too much and he's just not ready for that.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/24/2014

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Ditto what Evelyn said, precisely.

Nicely stated, Evelyn!

Ev - posted on 05/24/2014

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Okay, having kids is one thing. But what you are asking is a bit too much. You are only 18 years old. You have known the father of your child for ONLY 1 year and 2 months. Is that really enough time to decide that is the person you want to have kids with? No. Not for many. Also, you have a whole life ahead of you to enjoy and if you have kids now you are not going to be able to have time to get to do those things you want be it travelling or going to school to get more education. And going out to find another man to have kids with is just not a great idea. It sounds like you are hunting for a man to give you kids. Your boyfriend is right, he does not have to want to have more kids if he does not want to. Its his choice too. Kids do not ask to be born and they have no choice once they are. YOu need to be in a stable relationship, have a stable job and income, and be able to mature enough to handle it. Wanting a baby and having one with you 24/7 is not the same thing. WHen you have a child all day everyday for 18 years, you have to do for them not yourself. And babies do grow up. I know babies are cute and all but they are hard work and unless you are mature, stable in a job and finances, and in a solid relationship; then no do not go have a child just because.

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