I want my husband to travel for work

Amanda - posted on 01/18/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hubby and I have been having a very difficult marriage for the last 6 months. I am at my wits end. I dream of him having a job that would require him to work away from home. He loves to travel anyway so I think there are so many benefits for each of us. Any ideas of how to get him on a traveling circuit so I can keep my sanity and continue to married?

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Raye - posted on 01/19/2015

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Amanda, this forum can be supportive, and it can also offer different perspectives that you may not have thought about before... and those perspectives sometimes come in a way that seems hostile. You can't hear the tone of what's being said, so you may read it differently than how it was meant. Also, it is difficult to give relevant advice if there are few details to go from. Your second post clears up a lot.

If the marriage is not working, file for divorce. It may take longer if he's "refusing" but it will happen in time if you file. It is not good to stick to a marriage if you both are unhappy and counseling is not working. Especially if he's now being physically violent, you have to get away from this man. File police reports and/or get checked out at urgent care, clinic, or doctor to document his violence. That will help you in court.

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Michelle - posted on 01/18/2015

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If you have been in marriage counselling for 6 months and things have only gotten worse then I'd say it's time to accept that the marriage is over.
Like Jodi said, he can't refuse you a divorce. You get yourself a lawyer and serve him divorce papers. I don't know why you would want to stay married to an abusive man.

Jodi - posted on 01/18/2015

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He can't refuse you a divorce. If you want one, you can get one. I think that if you are only going to have a happy (and I use that term loosely) marriage if he travels, you are flogging a dead horse. It isn't fair to ask him to travel just to keep the marriage together. He probably doesn't want a divorce because he fears not being able to have a relationship with the children.

What you are doing right now is setting a poor example of a happy relationship to your children.

As I said, why must he be the one to get the job where he travels?

And if there is physical violence, get the hell out. I'm not even sure what your reasons are for hesitating, but this is not an environment where your children should be raised. They are better in an environment where you and their father are separated but both close enough to have an equal, loving relationship with them than coming to a solution where there is a loveless marriage with dad never around because he travels.

Amanda - posted on 01/18/2015

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Hostile right out the gate. I thought this was supposed to be a support center- women supporting women, mom supporting mom.. not that I need to explain but here are a few additional details... I have asked for a divorce and it has been refused. I have asked for a plan to help make this a marriage we can both be happy with. We have been in marital counseling since July. An argument escalated to physical violence just before Christmas which has really changed the relationship.

Jodi - posted on 01/18/2015

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And how would he feel having to be away from the children? How about YOU get a job where YOU travel?

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