I want to change my sons last name and basically tbe courts say i cant the lovely laws of Massachusetts. the biological father or sperm donor hasnt seen him in 4 years doesnt pay support but het i cant have his name changed. very frustrating. if anyone coukd just give ne any opinions or just talk i would appreciate it thank you


Dove - posted on 03/09/2015




A name is just a name. If your ex hasn't been involved in 4 years... it sounds like the name is the only thing your son really has of his father (other than 50% DNA.. of course).

As for opinions... if the courts say you can't change it... just accept that and keep raising your son. Nothing else you CAN do.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/09/2015




Did you have sexual intercourse? If so, the father of the boy is NOT a sperm donor, he's the child's biological father.

The federal laws state that, in the US, you must petition for a name change. So, start your petition. It has to be published in the legal section of the local newspaper for 6-8 week, and if no one responds, it's likely a judge will grant the change.

If you've already followed the legal process, and been turned down, suck it up, buttercup. Let your son make his own decision when he's an adult.

Sarah - posted on 03/09/2015




How old is your son anyway? Does he like his last name? Just because you aren't getting support from his father now, does not mean they might not have a future healthy relationship.

Ledia - posted on 03/09/2015




Unless your child's father really is a true sperm donor--he donated his sperm and signed away any parental rights and privileges before his sperm was implanted into your womb, he has equal rights to the child he helped you create, whether he chooses to exercise those rights or not. You can change your son's name, but you need his father's permission. You will need his father's permission for a lot of things throughout his life because the two of you decided to create this child TOGETHER.

At some point in your life, you thought he was a good enough man to be a father--obviously, you were wrong in that instance, but it doesn't change the fact that YOU chose this man to be the father of your child. You even gave the child his name. This isn't something you can just change your mind about because unless he chooses to sign his rights away, and a judge approves that move, he is still the child's parent, just as much as you are.

Raye - posted on 03/09/2015




You're going to get a lot of negative comments from people by calling your ex a sperm donor. You felt he was good enough to have sex with, and you made a bad choice. Don't pass all the blame on to him.

Yes, you need both parent's consent to change your child's name. You have to live with the choices you made. Stop feeling resentful of your ex and focus on giving your son the best life you can provide for him.

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