I want to cut my mom out of my life. Has anybody done this?

Ashley - posted on 09/18/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hello all, I am a 15 year old girl, but please read this before you prejudge this as teenage problems.

For as long as I can remember I have never had any strong connections with my mother. She is an extremely rude person, negative, and often puts work, drugs, and alcohol before me. Nobody in my family has been a real means of support for me. They all justify her reasoning to do drugs, have sex with random men, and drink.

I have numerous health problems including Hyperthyroidism in the form of Graves disease, OCD, and Panic Attacks. I once had a Panic Attack in front of her and she told me to, "Cut it out!" and to, "Stop having a temper tantrum!", and stormed off to bed. I have had all of these problems since I was a toddler (that is how far my memory goes back), it took a distant family member getting a police order in when I was 12 to get me treatment. My mom just claimed that nothing was wrong for the first 12 years of my life. She still hasn't let me get treatment for my Anxiety though. I asked her about it the panic attack the following day and she said, "It's not my fault I gave birth to a basket case".

At ages 8-11 I was suicidal, self harming, and I know I had Depression. This was all due to extreme bullying ranging from getting beat up, death threats, to getting things stolen, and nothing was wrong with me in her eyes at this time either. She is extremely irrational.

She hasn't met a teacher of mine since 6th grade when she was dragged to conferences by my now incapacitated father, she hasn't checked my grades since I was pretty much flunking out in 4th grade because my mental illnesses made school challenging. My father is a good man, extremely intelligent, just overtaken by alcoholism and other mental illnesses, I was much closer with him, but she kicked him out in January 2012. In school my father was in double advanced math and by 11th grade he finished Calculus, in 12th he went to the Community College and took Math Analysis at his school. My father is now 45 and has Dementia due to Alcoholism.

Instead of my mother taking on a larger roll she cringes away from it, she leaves me home alone up to 14 hours a day (she goes to bars), leaves me with junk food, and tries whatever she can to make sure I don't leave the house and only study.

I cannot go to friends houses, I cannot go to the movies with friends, or go to the mall with them, I can't do sports, and she is trying to make sure I am not to do any clubs after school, but I think she will lose that last one because I have been yelling at her about that for 2 years now. Besides that, I am to study for the majority of my at home waking hours.

Here's an example of me typically academically, not trying I make a mid A in math. When I began trying I got moved into advanced math. Now- I am in H. Chemistry, H. American Lit, and H. Algebra 2 which should be harder, but so far have been fine. Spanish 3, Human Biology, and US History are pretty easy. Why do I need to spend all of this time studying? Now, I am typically an A student with the occasional B.

She often will vent to her friends about me. I do not clean or do any chores around the house because every time I try I never get a thank you, I just get a, "You did a shitty job _____". In anyone else's eyes I did a fine job. I see no point anymore.

She also questions my sexuality. Only on one occasion have I ever developed a crush on a boy, and that didn't end well for me. That has been almost 3 years ago. So in her eyes I am a lesbian because I don't fall for immature teenage boys. I have never dated and don't plan on doing so until I am 18.

She also refuses to even teach me how to drive. I am almost 16. Any advice?


View replies by

Michelle - posted on 09/19/2015




Are there any family members that you can love with?
I would be talking to the counsellors at school and also government departments as to what they can do for you.
Is there a teen helpline where you are? They would also be a good point of call for help.

April - posted on 09/18/2015




Oh Ashley, your story reminds me slightly of the way I was raised. With one big difference, I knew that although my parents cared far too much for drugs and alcohol, they loved me. I'm so sorry your going through this. I want you to know that even though you don't feel loved or supported by your parents, you are loved by the one who created you. God loves you more than you can fathom. And unlike your parents He will never let you down. He desires for you to invite Him into your life and let Him lift you up.

Have you spoken to the counselers at your school? Or contacted DHS? Is there a church anywhere near your home that you could seek help from? I will be praying for you, let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

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