Star - posted on 01/13/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )
I was a single mom of two girls before I married my husband in November. I was living in AR. He lived in MI. We went to school together and just reunited. He has cancer and I now have two kids. He has none. He was in the army. I was working at walmart in AR. I had a place of my own and worked there for two years. Him and I got in touched after so long and I thought hey why not give it a try. I quit my job, me and the kids moved to MI to be with him. He is sick and I feel scared about it. I no longer feel like I'm important at all. My needs aren't met. We can't make up our minds when we're going to move since we been talking about it for some time and I want to have a job. He doesn't look sick or act sick but I know he is. I'd like to get a job so I can fulfill my needs too. Yea he takes care of the bills and stuff for now until I start working but he always says how it's gonna be 50/50. Well, what if I can't give that working minimum wage. I feel like money is going to become an issue. My car is broken down and now without tags and insurance. I'm not trying to sound greedy but I feel like he is going to expect way too much. We got married, we go grocery shopping, he pushes the cart and takes care of the bill everytime. We shop by the day and it's never me doing that. It's always him. He makes sure his stuff I'd taken care if first, even when we go out to eat, he orders first. Always. I can't really say he is still gu because every once in a while he will bring me flowers and he will buy me deodorant if I need it. I just feel low. I don't feel like a wife. We're talking about getting a place together and he's already talking about how he is going to decorate it. He says what's ours is ours. We don't have anything together. We don't share anything together. He doesn't have kids so he's still learning the parenting role. I've been blamed by his family for things I haven't done, plus bei MG videotaped by the neighbors. I'm just like I don't know what to do anymore because if I talk about these things I sound unappreciative and that's what I get called is that I'm never happy. I don't know what to do. I don't know the duties of a wife or a husband. I'm as new as him. I just feel like I can't be myself and I got more depressed and the who thing just makes me feel low. I have nothing to contribute. I have nothing now. No job, no money, no independence. It bothers me. Sometimes I feel like marriage is doomed because I was a single mom. Not that I hated that but sometimes I felt better being one. I don't have ppl talking to me like I don't know anything and I was taking care of my responsibilities. Yea it wasn't easy but I made it work and me and the kids were happy. Being in this relationship, I don't want to sound terrible or sound like I'm being wrong. I dunno if I am. He is sick and no that shouldn't rule out being happy with a family but we are an instant family. He's new at marriage too. I feel like he expects alot from me and I feel like the relationship is all about him anymore. Someone please give me advice in this. How should a marriage be? Even if I had kids before him and him with cancer. What should I do? I have nothing to bring to a marriage and I get reminded of it everyday. He doesn't say that but by the way he does things just makes me feel that way.