I was happy, but now I'm not......I regret getting pregnant now.

Kali - posted on 09/18/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Let me apologize first, I'm sorry. I was excited about having a 3rd child, our first 2 are ages 7 & 9 - both girls, but when I went for my ultrasound I found out that I was having another girl. I cried uncontrollably. I prayed and thought long and hard about having another baby, because I was determined that I wasn't. But, my husband wanted a son so bad (you can see it in his eyes) - so I tried. He's fine with a 3rd girl and now he just wishes for a healthy baby. He's also angry at me because he's afraid I won't love this child like our first 2. Me, on the other hand, I wish I would have never tried and stuck to my 2 girls that I already have. I wanted something different. A 4th try is out of the question for fear of having yet another girl. I'm now stressed, wishing I would have never gotten pregnant, and can't wait until this is over with. I do not want a baby shower for this one because I'm not happy about it, we will buy her what she needs. The news of the gender has truly turned my life around. My next 20 weeks are going to be miserable. I can't even think of girl names, because a girl wasn't a thought for me. I feel guilty feeling this way, any advice will do.

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Sarah - posted on 09/18/2013

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First off allow yourself to adjust to the news. It is ok to be upset and disappointed. Allow yourself time to adjust to the idea of 3 girls. Set a certain time frame. 3 days, A week, 2 weeks.....to where you allow yourself to feel those feelings. Then once that time frame is done focus on the positives about having 3 girls. It is ok to acknowledge the negatives that you feel, but if you allow yourself to stay there then you are hurting yourself, your 9 yr old and 7 yr old, and your husband. If you focus on the positives you will actually start to feel most positive about it. Just like someone who is sad due to a loss in their life......it could be a loss of a person they were close to, or a move to a different town or state, or just a change in stages of life....kids go off to college or go to kindergarten. It is good to allow yourself to be sad, but if you dwell on that sadness then it does not allow you to move forward. Sometimes to be happy you have to make yourself happy. So sometimes you have to really focus on the positives of a situation to make yourself feel good. Even though a mom might be terribly sad that her child is going off to kindergarten and will miss her a lot during the day.....there is the excitement of all the things she will learn and friendships she will make. Just like with you there is a sadness that your family will not include a boy, but there are lots of exciting things about having a family of all girls. Imagine the closeness your kids will have with each other. All the girl things they can do together. All the things they can talk to each other about (periods, boys, being a mom). All the special things you can do together....2 times a year all of us girls (this includes my mom as she is also a girl :) ) spend the day shopping and enjoying a girls day out. Not very often do you get boys that want to shop for the day :). Also know that just because you have all girls does not mean they can't do "boy" things. My parents had 4 girls before any boys came along. My dad was a farmer and we all were right out there helping him with the pigs and crops.

Again allow yourself time to adjust. But then look at all the blessings you have. There are couples out there that just wish for 1 baby no matter the gender and can't get that. You will have 3 beautiful ones :)

Karen - posted on 09/18/2013

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Oh... honey I know how you feel... trust me I'm a mother of 4 girls 13, 7, 4, 1 years old. My husband wanted a boy since the first child. But didn't happen. I was told 2days ago in my 16 wk ultrasound by my doc not an actual tech, that it might be a boy.. I cryed tears of joy yet I have not told anyone bc I feel doctor could be wrong. I want a boy I truly do but only God knows why he has sent me only girls! And if this baby that I'm carrying is another girl... well lets just pray she's a healthy baby girl!!♥ hang in there honey your baby needs to feel that you desire her even though she's still in your belly!! Hugss

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Kali - posted on 09/18/2013

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Thanks, your reply made me cry. I've been crying uncontrollably for the last 24 hours, so to hear your story offers some hope. I pray that you are having a boy this time. Maybe, I'll get over myself and try again, but for now my mind is in a million places. Good luck!

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