i was married for 10 years got seperated from my ex husband when my daughter was 3 she is 11 now it is really hard her dad moved to north carolina and we live in ny state so he sees her summer christmas and easter break so when she is with him she is on vaccation and she doesnt have rules when she is with me the rest of time she is in school there are rules and she always says for 2 weeks after she gets back that daddy is more fun tried to explain that to her dont know what to do when she down there he leaves her with baby sitters and doesnt spend much time with her he makes me look bad and encourages her to act up when she gets home any ideas

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Just be there to pick up the pieces every time she returns. I know it's hard. One of my girls came home from the summer visit saying she wanted to live w/ her father. That threw me a bit, but upon further conversation I discovered that it's not that she wants to live w/ him... she just wants to be able to see him and the rest of her stepfamily more often. She is old enough (almost 10) to realize that isn't practical though.

I actually don't mind that his place is the 'fun' place cuz I know that as they get older they will realize more and more (as they already do on some level) who it is that is THERE for them all the time, no matter what.... and that is what will matter in the big picture here.

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Jodi - posted on 08/20/2011

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They work it out eventually :) Just keep being the best mum you can, and it will work itself out.

Kristin - posted on 08/20/2011

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hope she will realize im here and i spend time with her all the time my work schedule is pretty much when she is at school so im off when she is her dad doesnt spend much time with her in 2 months shyanne said the most they did together was go to the lake a couple time rest of the time she was riding her bike playing at neighbors or with a baby sitter seems like he doesnt have her much he would take some time off work and go take her some where fun

Jodi - posted on 08/20/2011

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What Teresa said. My son's father just moved interstate (my son is 14), and he now only sees him a few times a year, but even before then, he would often only see him once a month or so, and he always came home with attitude. I just have to grin and bear it, make it clear that his dad has his rules and I have mine, and deal with it all. Things do smooth out after a few days, and once they settle down and he's back hanging out with his friends, he realises that living with me makes the most sense.

Kristin - posted on 08/20/2011

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thanks hope she will realize that right now she will say and listen to her dad but she comes home and thinks she can do what ever she wants i have to get her back under control b4 school starts she has called her dad 2 since she got home august 12 telling him im being mean and not letting her do what she wants i told her my rules here her dads rules only apply down at her dads she cant do what ever she wants here

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