I wish there was a birth mother group.
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Lacey - posted on 04/28/2009
a group for women who did the ultimate sacrifice for thier child short of dying and chose to give them up for adoption rather than abortion? thats a great idea. or maybe you did mean something else prehaps a divorced or never married mother dealing with childs step mother that would be a good group too.
Kerrie - posted on 03/25/2013
Thank you for all the amazing and helpful ideas. I am the birth mother of a very handsome, sweet, wise and athletic 18 year old young man. I have had an open adoption with him since he was a baby. However the adoptive parents only would agree to letting me see him twice a year for only 1-4 hours each time and usually always at the mall because they refused to meet anywhere else like the zoo or park. His birthfather became my true love and husband 2 1/2 years ago. He has never been allowed to see our son, ever! And for no logical reason either, other than they are threatened by him, or us as his real parents. Which I do understand. And I have always held my tongue even when she broke our legal adoption agreement several times and made me misx a visitation just because she wanted to be his o ly mom. Even thou it broke my heart to not see him i still understood her feelings, and just dealt with the grief on my own. The really sad and painful part is I have been waiting his whole life till he turned 18 so he comes make the decision to spend more time with me on his own. He turned 18 this last September and my dream didn't come true, yet. I'm still waiting thou and hoping. I believe God will bring him around. I know I have built a relationship with him over his whole life. Even thou the adoptive family literally always hovered over him at every bi- yearly visit, And I never got time to just bond with him alone, I know we are bonded. And I know he knows we love him with all of our hearts. Its so sad thou because so many people I know have amazing birthparent stories. They are extended family members to their children and are treated with the highest respect and see their kids every weekend. I always wanted that. Its strange the way our son's adoptive parents are. My husband and I never did drugs, we were not alcoholics. We didn't and do not do anything criminal or even questionable. We were just simply young and that was all. We wanted him to have what we were not able to provide for him at the time, a 2 parent, loving home. And I wanted them to be like me grounded in God, strong Christian morals. Well they are those things. Except her family values are Nothing like mine. I realized years ago I made the wrong choice. She is what many people would call a superficial, fake Christian. Sadly to say but the the things she teaches her other children and our son are not the example of a good Godly woman. Things like, making fun of overweight people's clothing stores (my mother is overweight), and pushing her daughters through beauty pageants, having a superior attitude towards anyone who doesn't live in the same tax bracket, or the same amount of education, and the thing that bothers me the most is she has taught MY SON to do all work no play, and have no emotions and to not discuss his feelings. That is 100% against my family values. I know that I know that I know I would have done a much better job! I hope and pray that the small, little visits I have had with him over the years have given him enough life skills to be a good man. We have prayed for him hid whole life and will always. I miss him so much. And its really difficult because my husband and I had a miscairrage a month ago and our 18 yr. Old son wrote me a letter the same weekend and said he doesn't want visits anymore. We figure its their influence on him partially and because he is a 18 yr old boy who is trying g to find himself. And although we completely understand his heart my heart is breaking doubly, I lost our youngest and oldest all at the same time.
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