I would like to hear some funny Stories??
Dawn - posted on 10/06/2009
Melody, my youngest has known all about toots for quite a while. She has 3 older brothers lol. Fart jokes, burps, armpit farts, yep, all part of the daily grind. She's only 2 1/2, but she just started pretend burping! She'll do it then say "scuse me Mama!", I say thank you, and she does it again (at least 3-4 times in a row). The funny thing is lately, because we're starting to try to potty train, when she toots she says "unh... I got poop". Funny stuff.
Mrs - posted on 10/06/2009
OK SO... thank you all for your responses to my question.. Here is a funny one... My 2 year son never had really heard a big fart before... or even did a big one himself.. I was watching him walk towards me as he was trying to ask me a question.. when he opened his mouth he did a really BIG HUGE LOUD fart and it was a quick one.. the Funny part was he did'nt know what it was?? HE jumped and got this confused look on his face than started to look for the noise... I was in tears for an hour laughing so hard!!
Donna - posted on 10/02/2009
Saying grace in a restaurant
Last week, I took my children to a restaurant.
My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, 'God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!'
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, 'That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!'
Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, 'Did I do it wrong? Is
God mad at me?'
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my son and said, 'I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.'
'Really?' my son asked.
'Cross my heart,' the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), 'Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.'
Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, 'Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.'
I pray that you enjoyed these little stories they are some of my favorites.
Donna - posted on 10/02/2009
This is too cute - after this one - I have one more.
Clever Little Girl - SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR KID RIGHT!
One Nation, 'Under God.'
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain
evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. Possibly he just
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she possibly
may not even have one! (You Go Girl!)
FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT' - II CORINTHIANS 5:7
Donna - posted on 10/02/2009
I hope that this isn't just for things that have happened to our own children - I have such cute emails that friends send me - I will try to keep them to a minimum. If you want no more emails posted please let me know - it won't bother me a bit.
6 Reasons Not to Mess with Children.
(1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
(2) A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
(3) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy, the oldest of a family, answered, "Thou shall not kill."
(4) The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor'." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
(5) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
(6) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching" Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Donna - posted on 10/02/2009
This is not something my child did this is an email that my friend sent me and I thought that you might enjoy it.
Men just don't have a clue.... AND THIS IS SOOOOO TRUE!!!
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home..
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)
' Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?
Cassie - posted on 10/02/2009
My 4 year old neice was helping me give one of my month old sons a bath. Brian was safely tucked into his play yard, my neice was filling up the squeeze bottle I used to rinse the boys off, mom was watching, and my sister was playing with Brian in his bed, I was washing Bradly off with a washcloth. I felt water on my arm and started to tell my neice to quit spaying me, when I realised Bradly was peeing. He peed on me, my neice, my sister, and the play yard. My favorite thing about it though was my mother telling me about the 15 minute ride home! Let's just say my neice learned girls have who who's and boys have wee wee's. Plus I guess my neice thought my month old son should have to her he was sorry for peeing on her!
Gina - posted on 10/02/2009
We were having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner one night. I dropped a meatball from my plate onto my lap and announced this. My three year old granddaughter says "Paw Paw is a meatball, he's a talking meatball" Had to be there, she loves coming up with goofy names for people-another time she told my daughter that she was a Magiggle-when asked what a magiggle is she just says "you're a magiggle". Too cute.
Bridget - posted on 10/02/2009
Around age 3, my oldest daughter started getting fascinated with "Who Who's" & "Ding Ding's", she also liked (still does) to run around nude. I won't leave my front door open so she can look out the storm door unless she wears panties. So one day after I had persistently nagged her to put on panties, she finally gave in & put the panties on and ran into the living room with her hands on her hips saying, "Okay Mommy, I put on panties so nobody will see my BIG ding ding." The most hilarious part is that she exagerrated the BIG part.
Dawn - posted on 10/02/2009
Last year when she was 3, my then-fiancee's daughter (now hubby) Helena was sitting on the potty. I was in the hallway trying to corral the other 2. Helena likes just babbling to herself about stuff, so I guess it really shouldn't have surprised me when out of nowhere she announces.... "Poop is NOT ice cream!" What made it so hysterical is that she was COMPLETELY serious. Seeing her wide eyes and oh-so-serious expression with her boingy ringlets when she announced this stunning discovery was just too perfect. I had to immediately leave the room so I wouldn't pee myself from laughing in front of her. She's 4 1/2 now and still comes up with stuff like this out of the blue. Yesterday when talking about slides (her mom lets her climb up the slides while our rule is that's dangerous and you just don't do it) she said "there's no slides on trains". Uh... yep, that's right. Then, "there's no slides in trees". Again, can't argue with that. If I don't have paper available to jot down all these little nuggets I grab out my phone and text or email them to myself.
User - posted on 10/02/2009
let him pee outside, i know it's getting cooler outside, but it has worked with BOTH of my boys, they love the sound of the pee hitting the leaves!!!!!!! they could even pee on a tree or a bug, whatever they prefer.....the only down side is they may occasionally want to do this in public without letting you know first. all this does is create for some funny stories in the future......
id just potty trained my daughter and was in boots chemist and my mum kept pointing couldnt work out what she wanted then i looked down and my darling daughter had done a poo in the middle of the shop thank goodness for wet wipes shes nearly 18 now
Debbra - posted on 10/02/2009
We used to live in a small trailer when my oldest son was a toddler. We did not have running water in the house. So, when my husband had to go to the bathroom after dark, he would just step out on the porch and go over the side. Since we were potty training my son, he followed suit. Because of the odor that had developed, I told my husband he would have to find another solution for his bathroom outings. Breaking my husband was not a problem. But, breaking my 21 month old was a different story. My husband got the bright idea to tell my son that if he didn't quit peeing of the porch the boogy man was going to get his balls. Well, to my surprise it worked. However, the repercussion was not so good. We happened to be in the grocery store one day, and had arrived at the milk section, when I realized I had forgot to get a head of lettuce. It was in another section of the store. There was an elderly woman there also getting some fresh vegetables, when a voice in very audible english, echoed throughout the whole store. It was my son asking his father if the boogy man was going to get his balls. I tried not to let anyone know that I was his mother, as the woman beside me began to snicker. As we got to the check out counter, though, I was unable to hide it any longer as the checkout girl, who knew us, preceding to ask, "was that your son who said that?". With everyone looking at us I had to embarrassingly say yes. My husband was still laughing. He never got embarrassed. I hope you think this story is funny enough. Since my son is now 28 yrs. old with a son of his own, he is now experiencing the joys of being embarrassed by his own son.
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