Idk what to do about my four year old my relationship is fading fast d

Amberly - posted on 01/08/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )




I'm at loss for words I've tried medication counseling/ therapy time out reasoning spanking chores ect. But my son doesn't cooperate I feel like I'm failing as a mother a girlfriend and as an individual my life is a mess what do I do


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Jodi - posted on 01/08/2016




I have the same question as Dove, is the medication and counselling for you or for the child?

You haven't mentioned how this is affecting your relationship, but I agree that your child needs to come first. You need to be REALLY consistent with your consequences.

If you could be a bit more detailed about the types of behaviour that is a problem, we may be able to help with more specific strategies. However, have you considered some kind of reward chart...where when you catch him in positive behaviour (any behaviour that you WANT) he can earn stickers/tokens towards TV time or game time?

Dove - posted on 01/08/2016




Do you mean that HE has been on medication and in counseling... or that you have?

What is he doing that isn't cooperating? What is it that you do about it? Is your boyfriend his father or is that a newer relationship?

It would help for us to have a bit more information in order to 'tailor' the advice, but one bit of advice anyway... breathe! No one person can be all things to all people, but everyone CAN and DOES make a difference. You can be OK and you can straighten out your life (since you say it's a mess). ♥

Raye - posted on 01/08/2016




There's usually not one thing that's going to work right off the bat or in every scenario. Like Shawnn said, he needs consistency. Think of a rule he breaks all the time and choose a punishment and keep doing it every time he breaks that same rule. Punishments need to fit the crime, so the same punishment might not work for breaking different rules. Think ahead and have punishments in mind for different things. And enact those punishments quickly EVERY time. He's going to push back more if he's used to getting his way, but that doesn't mean the punishment is not working. Give it some time to work before switching to something else.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/08/2016




Honestly, right now, your priority is raising your son. You need to make sure that he's getting the time and attention he needs.

Hes 4 years old. He's not a mini adult, and at this age, you have to keep up with the consistency.

What is his behaviour like, and what HAVE you tried? How many different boyfriends have you had since his birth (consistency)? How many times have you relocated, etc?

These are not judgmental questions, btw, but you say you've tried 'everything' including meds and a bit more info would be helpful

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