if a 2year old wont eat their tea,as punishment is it right to throw away the stickers that they like playing with

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Sneaky - posted on 04/19/2011

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If my kids will not eat their dinner, then they go to bed hungry. Why would I need to 'punish' them?

Amber - posted on 04/19/2011

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Two year olds have small stomachs (about the size of their little 2 yr old fist). Most 2 year olds will not eat large amounts at the same time. Most children at that age will stop eating when they are full. IMO, it is good to allow them to use this to their advantage. They are less likely to overeat at a later date if they are allowed to only eat until they are full as children. They will remember that feeling and it will become natural to stop eating when full.



It is also not a good idea to equate food with punishment. Just let them walk away and offer it again later when they decide they are hungry. The bigger of a battle that you make out of it, the bigger of a battle it will be.



Throwing away stickers will cause tears and hurt feelings. It's pretty hard to eat when you're crying and upset....



If it is a reward chart, then I wouldn't throw the whole thing away. I would just not give them the reward associated with eating/manners or the title it has in your respective household.

Kylie - posted on 04/18/2011

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She only 2. Set an example, make dinner a positive, enjoyable time. Sometimes my 2 year old will only have a bite of dinner. I'll ask him please try a veggie on his plate, usually he will, but if he wont then I'll try and feed him a few spoonfuls. If hes' not interested thats fine, he can go. I'll offer him something else later. IMO punishing him wont encourage him to eat his dinner. I dont make a big deal of it and he usually eats his dinner.

Charlie - posted on 04/19/2011

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She is two , dont force her to eat or punish her for not eating you could be setting her up for an unhealthy relationship with food .

Like everyone else has said two year olds have small stomachs .

Bonnie - posted on 04/19/2011

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Why would you punish someone for not eating? And two year olds go through stages. One week they like something and the next they do not. Some days they eat more than others. If she doesn't eat, don't give her a snack.

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Erin - posted on 06/26/2011

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I wouldnt throw something of theirs away, but I would keep it from them for a time until they realized it wasnt coming back until they did what I expected to some extent. If you throw it away, they have nothing really to lose. Its gone. But if you take it away and tell them they will get it back when they do what you asked them to do, they know they can get it back!

Christy - posted on 04/22/2011

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Ok gotcha on the tea thing. :) I wouldn't force it. Kids eat when they need to, unless they refuse everything then it may be another issue altogether. Sometimes my kids would eat everything int he house, then nothing for a couple of days except milk and juice or water. They are healthy and fine now.

Christy - posted on 04/22/2011

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Ok gotcha on the tea thing. :) I wouldn't force it. Kids eat when they need to, unless they refuse everything then it may be another issue altogether. Sometimes my kids would eat everything int he house, then nothing for a couple of days except milk and juice or water. They are healthy and fine now.

Sal - posted on 04/21/2011

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a child won't starve themselves, you might think they will but they won;t, and food is often the only bargaining tool they have left, punishment for a 2 yr old is a little harsh, so you have to make the conditions right to get her to eat a suitable food intake during the day, firstly try and extablish if she is not hungry because she has been grazing all day and getting enough food that way, (it is amazing how much a child will eat in little nibbles during the day) is she still having a bottle and filling up on that, secondly work out if the meal time works for her, it might make sence for you to give her her main meal at night, but she might respond better at lunch, or and early tea, then have a light supper later if hungry, or you might be feeding her to early and she would be happier to eat with you and your husband later, don't let her drink before or during the meal until she has had a decent amount, (my little one would drink all her calories if i'd let her) if she is just being resistant when she refuses to eat, just let her leave the table, and don;t offer other choices, don't make it into a battle, when she is hungry later calmly tell her she will have to wait until lunch/ breakfast dinner what ever comes next, make sure she is hydrated but don;t give in, once she realises that you won;t play her game she might accept food when you offer it. and lastly if she is a grazer make sure the food she grazes on is healthy, my little one is 3 and i have had to do this with her, she just gets the same food as i would give her in 3 meals but let her eat it over the day, she is often falling alseep before our night meal no matter what i do she doesn't eat much at night or breakfast, we have healthy morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea, and limit the amount of 'snack food" she eats, we have yoghurts, fruit pieces (she never gets through a whole apple) vegi sticks, water, a sandwich might be spread over 3 snacks, little pickels and olives, she is on say milk so has a glass of milk, and i don;t have desert nightly, it isn;t perfect but it is peacful she is being well fed, i still offer her a nightly meal, but if she doesn;t eat i don;t push it, as she gets older and goes to school and preschool later she will have to learn to eat at set time,

Kate CP - posted on 04/21/2011

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I always thought tea was a late afternoon snack and then you had dinner/supper?

Rebecca - posted on 04/21/2011

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I have a two year old as well, and he will go through times when he does not want to eat. It is perfectly normal for them to not want to eat. At first I was worried, because some days he will eat every thing at every meal, and other days, he will not eat anything all day. But that is normal. There is nothing wrong with it or unhealthy. I also have a 15 year old and a 10 year old, and I have always told them, you don't have to eat what I make if you don't like it, but you can't have anything else. I make it their choice, but they have to know that I am not a chef at a restaraunt, and they are not getting whatever they want.
Forcing them to eat is not good at all, my husbands family does that, and they are all over weight. And for a while, his sister had an eating disorder in high school because of it. Lessons should come from cleaning,and other such things, but never from not eating.

Penny - posted on 04/21/2011

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One more thing
As the kids got older I never made them eat things they didn't like... I would ask them to try them once in a while explaining that tastes change as you get older. Now my kids are teenagers and they eat alot more variety of foods than their friends. BUT.. my teenage daughter will not eat eggs or mayo because she really hates them... and that is A-OK. For most of her life she also hated cucumbers but guess what... now she suddenly LOVES them.... life is a journey of discovery ... :)

Penny - posted on 04/21/2011

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I'm with the rest... no punishment for not eating. If the child is being manipulative with food they must learn it does not work by telling them what is ok and what is not for example.. if they are hungry later they must understand the only thing to eat is the dinner they did not finish but make it nice and re-heat it . Don't make her eat it cold for ex. I think the average home tells children no dessert unless they eat a proper meal. Once they understand the rules they may throw a few fits but you must hold firm - no punishment - just house hold rules. I always told my children if they did not like what was being served they could have a peanut butter sandwich and that was the only other option ( because I was not going to cook separate meals for my family). that of course was when the kids were older than 2 - like maybe 5 or 6...anyways not too many peanut butter sandwiches were eaten.... they knew the household rules and they knew I was not going to budge from them. We had very few problems once that was established. good luck. ps. no punishment for not eating - just rules. :)

Angela - posted on 04/21/2011

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Christine, please don't throw away the stickers. You may take them away with the condition your child may earn them back. I find this works well with my daughter. If your child is not eating, she may be full from another meal or not like what is on the plate. It is important for a child to have a well-balanced diet. Let the child know that you expect him/her to eat 3 bites of each food group to receive a treat (dessert, an extra story at bedtime, or a fun activity the next day). Positive reinforcement such as this is more effective than punishment. I hope this helps.

Tracy - posted on 04/21/2011

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my son is 9yrs old and still wont eat his tea, remove all sweets and unhealthy snacks during the day and just feed her her meals, it still takes my son over an hour to eat a simple meal but it does get better. I have learned over the years that punishing them doesnt work, it makes them resist even more to eating. By doing so your making meal times a battleground and its a battle you just can't win. Good luck and it does get easier in time xx

Krista - posted on 04/19/2011

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I agree with the others. What will punishing her accomplish? She'll be forcing herself to eat when she's not hungry, just to avoid losing something she cares about? That just doesn't sound like a good approach to nutrition.

If she won't eat her tea, she won't. Just give her a bigger breakfast the next day.

Kathleen - posted on 04/19/2011

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Kids this age will go days sometimes with little appetite. This is very normal.Punishment is not good for not eating, I feel it will frustrate her more and she will be too upset to eat.

User - posted on 04/19/2011

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Mealtimes should be fun, positive times, not battlegrounds. Sometimes children don't feel like eating much. Maybe she's tired, unwell, teething etc.

Stephanie - posted on 04/19/2011

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i agree with the most of the comment. Make her some dinner, if she's not eating it, you can encourage her to try, but don't make a big deal out of it. Say "do you want some? No. Alright!" When you are finished with your own food, ask her if she's "all done" and take it away. I would ask a little bit later if she's hungry. also keep in mind that snacks through out a day fill kids up. If my daughter eats a snack around 4or5pm I can't expect her to eat a big dinner at 7.
And if she doesn't eat, she'll have a bigger breakfast.
And - no - do not punish her for not eating. It takes time for toddlers to get used to new foods and such. so take your time and don't pressure her.
You could include her by helping you make dinner, or ask her if she wants rice or pasta with her chicken. Make it fun.

Stifler's - posted on 04/19/2011

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I just sit my 15 month old in the high chair until he's finished a satisfactory amount of food. They do have small stomachs and sometimes we can overestimate how much they need in one sitting.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2011

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Kate, tea can also mean dinner.....I would say this is what she means.

Do you mean a particular food, or are you expecting her to eat all of her dinner, or is she just not touching it at all? To be honest, I think 2 is a bit young to make it a battleground, but I do think we need more information if you are wanting some help. I am not sure what you mean by taking away stickers - do you mean she has a reward chart?

Kate CP - posted on 04/18/2011

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I don't understand the question. Are you asking if during tea time she doesn't drink her tea that it's okay to throw away her stickers?

Why the hell would you do that? If she doesn't want to eat or drink don't make her...that's how you make eating disorders.

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