If I hear the words "he has it made" again, I'm going to implode!

Pam - posted on 12/07/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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First off, THANK YOU for creating this circle!! NO one understands, unless they are experiencing it for themselves. Like so many of you, my son was not diagnosed until age 24....which has made him NOT qualify for any resources. Oh, he had food stamps for a while; then got something in the mail which I erroneously let him "handle" himself...and lost everything. I tried to get him to do his disability papers and since his condition has worsened over the years to where he used to work and seems unable to now; he had a lot of stuff to try to remember and couldn't fill out of the paperwork right. I called the # they listed for assistance and left a message, and never heard back, so we just sent it as is....of course we will be denied for disability AGAIN because they expect disabled adults to be able to complete these forms??
My son's dad says "he has it made" as have many others that have come and gone in my life. I point out how they would feel if they sat indoors all day long, feeling "different" and "less than" and scared of the world?? I get so sick of men who think they know it all, and just point their fingers. My present boyfriend seems to understand, but still I get an earful from him as he wonders what is laziness and what is his condition....and of course I wonder the same. So we just continue to constantly question ourselves, with no resources available.
We wonder why our prisons are full and our tax dollars are feeding them, etc. etc. etc...... if this country gave a DAMN about mental health, we would have far less crime!!!! (stepping off my soapbox). I'm spewing, and I know most of you relate. Thank you thank you thank you......xo

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Michelle - posted on 12/07/2014

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Hi Pam, unfortunately, I personally do not have experience in this area. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time finding support and resources. I'm not sure where you are, but hopefully, this website will help:

http://www.autismspeaks.org/family-servi...

Again, I personally do not know about the site or where they are located, or if they will be able to help you. In case they are not in your area, maybe calling them might get you access to resources in your area.

Good luck!

Pam - posted on 12/07/2014

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Hi, Michelle-
Yes, I was venting! But, I DO need some assistance-- thanks for replying. My son was diagnosed with Asperger's at 24 yrs old. I was told then, "too bad he wasn't diagnosed before age 18...he would've been eligible for so much support from our Regional Centers...and then told "don't know what to tell you" by subsequent doctors. I was paying a LOT of $$ for a "Personal Coach" who seemed completely useless, and recommended he go to the Dept. of Rehab. Of course he is one who does not want to point out that he is "different" so simply withdraws. We tried for Social Security Disability twice...first time, he missed the call and they just flat out made him start all over again so he refused. Second time, he became completely overwhelmed with dates and such on the application, I called for assistance for him, and never received a call back. We sent it anyway, but it was late...and I don't have a good feeling about it. He does things to excess....eats, drinks, smokes, plays games, and ends up nickel and diming me to where I am about to file for bancruptcy for the 2nd time :o(
I have a friend who told me to make an appointment at Social Security and speak with someone live; but, I'm not even sure who/what dept. to make an appointment with??
Any assistance would be worth its' weight in gold-- I'm so lost and frustrated.
Thank You! :o) Pam
I want him to be able to live alone and maybe even find work, but at least be out on his own. I think he regresses when he's with me. He did live on his own at 18 and had a job, but ended up wrecking his car, quitting,

Michelle - posted on 12/07/2014

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First of all, I'm sorry for your situation. I'm not sure what disability your son has, or if you intentionally left that out. However, without knowing the disability, it is difficult to try to help you find resources.

Maybe you just wanted to vent, and that is okay, too. Vent away... =)

I agree about helping those with mental health issues. If more of those resources were available from the beginning, maybe less crimes would be committed.

Good luck!

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