If my child's bio father's not listed on the birth certificate...

Apple - posted on 11/17/2014 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Hello, I was wondering if my child's biological father is not listed on the birth certificate, would my fiance be able to adopt her when we get married? Do we have to be married in order for him to adopt?

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Sarah - posted on 11/17/2014

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You can move forward with the wedding. As far as the adoption you will not be able to proceed with anything until the bio father's rights are terminated. If you work with an adoption agency they can do the tracking and the terminating of the birth father's rights. If you work with an adoption attorney you may have to do more of the tracking....best is to call and ask.

You will need either an adoption attorney or an adoption agency to do the home study and paperwork for your fiance to adopt......you must be married before you start this process....as an adoption can't take place between two unmarried people. There is quite an expense with adopting, so you may want to do some calling now to see what that will be. You will need to pay for the legal fees for the termination of the bio father, the home study fee, and then there are reports that need to be done after (each state is different to how many and for how long) these will also have a fee, then after so many months after "placement" you can finalize the adoption (each state is different on this time frame also). This will also have some cost.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/17/2014

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Here's the deal: He's her biological father. Whether you WANT to, or not, you NEED to do things legally.

Contact an attorney before you do ANYTHING else.

Sarah - posted on 11/17/2014

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The bio father's rights would need to be terminated and yes you would need to be married for your fiancé to adopt. For the father's termination it is going to depend on the state. Some states a father can sign before birth, but in most there is a certain time period until he can sign......example 72 hours after birth before he can sign.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/17/2014

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What you really should do, first step, is consult with a family attorney in your area.

That way, you can be sure that you will not do something that could potentially bite you in the butt later on, and live happily ever after!

:-)

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/17/2014

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LOL...Yes, by all means, do the wedding...that doesn't need to be held up! And, enjoy that day!!!

Apple - posted on 11/17/2014

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Thank you Sarah for being so informative and kind about it. I will definitely look into all of those. Looks like we'll be busy. Many thanks.

Apple - posted on 11/17/2014

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Hi Sarah, thank you for your comment.

So, just to clarify, would I have to track him down? Or would it be safe to try and just move forward with the wedding and adoption and see how that works? I wonder if there are other parents who have been in the predicament before. My biggest thing is wanting to do the right thing, I really don't want to try and find her bio father, so if I could move forward without that, of course that would be preferred, but I know that's only if the perfect world exist.

Apple - posted on 11/17/2014

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Shawnn, thank you. So I should find her biological father and request that he sign his rights over and then proceed that way? I'm new to all this and I just want to do what right and what's legal. I will try and see what else should be done. Many thanks. I appreciate the help.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/17/2014

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Apple, that's great, and I'm glad you've found someone that fits for you!

However, your ex still has every right to be a parent and interact with his child, the same as you do.

Besides that... if you approach the situation correctly, you can have the "I'm the more adult person" feeling of accomplishment.

As far as the adoption part, if rights are signed away, that would be a family attorney question. I'm certain each state differs in adoption laws. Good luck with everything.

Apple - posted on 11/17/2014

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Shawnn, thank you for your response. Well I don't want to falsify anything, I just wanted to know how things work.

I separated from my child's biological father (never married) when she was barely two due to verbal and physical abuse. My fiance who has been supporting us since shortly after I split wants to move forward, and I didn't really know how to go about it. So I just wanted to know what I should do to "move" forward.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/17/2014

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Your child's father still has rights, whether you like it or not. Whether or not he's on the child's birth certificate generally doesn't matter. He has the right to request that paternity be proven, and once it is, the right to request access to his child.

Do it legally, and ask him to sign away his rights. If he doesn't wish to do so, that is his choice, and his right.

The adult thing to do would be to set up support and visitation with him, rather than trying to falsify your child's records by attempting to get your current partner to take responsibility.

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