If the father asks for paternity test for child support (FL)

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2016 ( 24 moms have responded )

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So I filed for child support and all 3 of my kids have the same father but we were never married, just together for 7 years. He didn't sign the birth certificates for 2 of them because I went to Ohio to have them because FL has horrible hospitals and I went into labor early so he couldn't get time off work at the times I was in the hospital to travel up there, the one kid that he did sign the birth certificate for at the hospital the notary did not put him on it claiming that he didn't present a valid ID, and we never got around to doing the paternity affidavits. So now we're separated, I filed cs and now he's saying that he wants to get DNA tests for kids that he knows are his just to mak it drag out longer being that it takes time to get a paternity test scheduled, over a month to get back the results and then over another month or two to get another court date, making me wait more months to get a child support order. So my question is if he asks for a DNA then will he owe back pay for the months waited after he asks for the paternity tests?

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Michelle - posted on 05/20/2016

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Being with someone for 7 years doesn't mean you know them.
When it come to people getting out of paying (anything) or having the chance to reduce what they have to pay, they can change in an instant.
I also suggest getting custody and visitation sorted out as you don't want to be posting here in the future that your ex has taken your children and refuses to give them back.
It happens far too often because women think that "He will never do that" or " I know him so well and he will stick by our verbal agreement". WRONG!!!!!
Or you can keep your head in the sand and hopefully he proves me wrong. I doubt it though since you say he is dragging out the process of child support.
We always want to believe that the man we had children with will always do the right thing but so often they don't.

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2016

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Another way to look at it too, Amanda, is to make sure you have dad put on the birth certificates. This will also save trouble later. If something happens to dad, the children will have the proof that he is their father. Think about decisions to be made, inheritance, etc. So the DNA test isn't such a bad thing either.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/20/2016

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Sorry, Amanda, but people DO change at times, and unless you are physically in his head, and making his every decision FOR him, you most certainly do NOT know what he's going to want at this point.

Dove - posted on 05/19/2016

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You had 3 kids w/ a man that can't handle being a father... all while watching him bail on his previous kids...

Oh... and if he's self employed... good luck getting any child support. My ex is also self employed (and claims that he's unemployed) and he owes over $32,000. I was w/ him for over 8 years and the man I thought I knew would have NEVER abandoned his kids... but that's exactly what he did.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/19/2016

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Well, you being "pretty sure", and what he actually is going to want with his kids are two different things

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Sarah - posted on 05/20/2016

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This is a good point that Jodi is making and one that a lot of mothers overlook. If your child's father dies or becomes disabled then the child is eligible for benefits; but only with the proof of paternity.

Amanda - posted on 05/20/2016

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Thank you all for your help, I never thought about it that way, but I'll definitely look up the proper motions to file..

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2016

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I agree with the other ladies - don't only get a child support order, have custody and visitation ordered too. This protects the kids and makes sure each party's rights are spelled out clearly. You would be surprised how often these situations will turn around and change over the years. Women who think they know their exes have their children taken and not returned. Fathers who are perfectly amicable after a break up may get in a new relationship with a woman who will suddenly encourage him up the ante. We see these stories here ALL the time. An order on this now will mean less trouble later.

Raye - posted on 05/20/2016

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No matter what his current feelings are about custody/visitation or how well you "think" you know how he will act, he could always change. We see the horror stories on this forum all the time from parents that didn't protect themselves or their kids by getting court orders. The court order for custody is better taken care of now, because then you get it established LEGALLY. Later on, if there's no court orders and he decides to fight you for custody/visitation, it might not turn out so well for you. And if he just takes them from you, then you have nothing to charge him with legally. He's their father and has just as much right to them as you do at this point.

Regarding the child support, if he wants the DNA test, just do it. Generally if the father isn't listed, they HAVE to do DNA. Then just hope you get something. My dad quit his job and tried to get on disability so he wouldn't have to pay. You can only do what you can do, which is to file, and to occasionally make reports to the support agency that he's not paying.

Amanda - posted on 05/20/2016

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He didn't really "bail" on them, he just didn't want to visit with them unless he felt like it when they were younger, my kids are toddlers and I know that he's not going to want to do all the extra work being that they can't do much for themselves, plus he knows that they're way more attached to me then him. But overall he still has a good relationship with all his kids and is there for them, if they're teenagers and are driving over to his house nearly every day to hang out and talk to him then he can't be a complete deadbeat. I already know he won't pay it everytime so I'm not depending on it, with his ex wife for instance he only pays when his sons tell him that they need school clothes, if he wanted his license unsuspended, or she filed a contempt, in those cases he'd pay $1500 (2mns worth of cs) which I wouldn't complain about. His ex wife makes 3times his pay doing real estate, also she took ALL of their assets after their divorce and left him with nothing, didn't even leave him with 1 of their 4 vehicles or even 1 of their 3 properties, their kids are very spoiled and don't want for anything that's why I didn't think that he was a total bad guy for not paying her child support, he does send me $300 a mn Western Union so maybe he will pay, who knows, either way I'm not holding my breath cause my kids will have what they need with or without child support.

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2016

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OK so after waiting half an hour on the phone with child support services they said yes, child support will retro activate from the time you file up to two years. The woman also says that since he is self employed that he has the choice of which one of his children's mothers he pays since he can't get any wages garnished. Also Shawnn I think I know a man that I've been with for over 7 years, he's not going to be able to handle it.

Ev - posted on 05/19/2016

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One more note on child support then and it really depends on states laws....if he is paying out support on those children from the previous relationship then you will only get a percentage rather than the full amount. You might want to investigate that.

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2016

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Sorry about the duplicate post, I hit post twice thinking that my phone was frozen.

We live four hours away from each other so I don't see how shared custody would work, also judging how he was when he had visitation every other weekend with his other kids with his ex wife and always came up with excuses not to take his visits with them I'm pretty sure he wouldnt want to have shared custody as handling them by himself is too much responsibility for him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/19/2016

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God, I hate duplicate posts.

If your ex is going to have shared custody, then your support will not be what you "want" it to be anyway. Either parent has the right to request proof of paternity at any time, by the way.

Dove - posted on 05/19/2016

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And yes... you do need a court order for custody and visitation. If you do not have one... GET ONE. It's to protect everyone involved... especially the children.

Dove - posted on 05/19/2016

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It is his right to get the test. If you want to know if you will get back pay... ask an actual lawyer.

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2016

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He can admit paternity, however paternity is not the issue I am inquiring about, I was just curious if he would owe back pay for the months that it would take for test scheduling, waiting for results and scheduling another court hearing, etc..

Ev - posted on 05/19/2016

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Actually, you do need one if there is not father listed on any birth certificates. It proves he is the father and he will be responsible for child support and you can not get child support without proving who the father is legally.

Amanda - posted on 05/19/2016

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We don't need one, we both know that our kids are his, theres no question about paternity he just wants to drag out the process to avoid paying it longer just to be nasty about me leaving him...

Dove - posted on 05/19/2016

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I have no idea on back child support, but if he's not on their birth certificates... it is his legal right to have a DNA test before paying child support. It is also his legal right to seek a court order for custody and visitation. I'm assuming there isn't one of those in place yet since he's not on the birth certificates and no DNA test has been done before... You all really need one.

Ev - posted on 05/19/2016

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No one can tell you the answer to back child support. That will be up to the judge in the state you filed this on based on that states laws. You best seek an lawyer whose focus is family law to give you an answer.

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