If you had a child with a disability and say your other child did NOT, would you treat the child like its a outcast?

Hope - posted on 09/10/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




This may be random, But I am the youngest of my older brother and sister, and well they got lives of their own, each married with 2 kids, a house, Nice cars and stuff, now granted they bust their but for it so I am am happy for them, but kind of envy of them in a way to, I on the other hand have a mild learning disability and have some struggles since my childhood, but mind you it does NOT stop me from being a good mother to my daughter, cause my parents raised me really well, I credit my parents for it and I love them and appreciate things they have done for me, though to them they might not believe I do or think I show it, but anyhow I have always felt like the outcast, the black sheep of the family like they are ashamed to have me around like a HUGE a burden. Now I was just wondering would you ever treat your child like a outcast? Or treat them like they are complete morons. I think I did reasonably well considering, Maybe its just always been my imagination on what I feel I guess.


View replies by

JuLeah - posted on 09/11/2011




Not sure about what you mean by 'mild learning disability' that could be any number of things.

I have a learning disability - and a Masters degree

You have felt like an outcast - that may or may not be a result of them feeling as if you are an outcast - you have to own your part

My friend Brenda wore a back brace all through high school. Kids stared at her, whispered comments, laughed as she walked by ... it was so painful for her, those years were.

She did go back however for her 10th reunion; no longer in a back brace, fit and looking hot

People were so nice to her, she finally asked, "Why were you so mean to me?"

They said they had wanted to be her friend but she never would speak to them, usually wouldn't make eye contact, kept to herself - they learned to just leave her alone.

She said she felt they were laughing at her back brace.

No one was aware she ever wore a back brace

So, I share that, but I also share this: Kids with LD do often feel different. We are aware of the tools we use to 'get by' We are aware that we don't think, don't see, don't move through the world as most do. We assume everyone can see our struggle. We assume people assume we are dumb.

The reality is, and I am sure you know this; kids with LD have an IQ that is usually above average - that is how we come up with the tools we need to cope in the first place

To answer your question: of course I'd never treat my child like an outcast or moron, but I have little say in how she may or may not receive my actions and words.

Hope - posted on 09/11/2011




See I always wonder cause Parents do need to stop and think how the child may feel, but I have a hard time telling my own mother how I felt cause I was always afraid of her yelling at me or saying something along the lines of Oh that is so stupid or don't say such stupid things, mean while to me it wasn't stupid in my head, you can't stop people on how they feel, you can re assure them and stuff but sometimes it does not help. But I try to stop and realize how my mom felt and how stressed at times she was.

Tamara - posted on 09/10/2011




i do know i treat my son different then the other three, you kind of have to since the mentality level is different, I would never mean to make them feel like an outcast or moron or anything bad. I never thought about this before.

My son is Bi-polar, PDD-NOS, PTSD, and a touch OCD so he can be trying so like I said the rules and the way we 'handle' him is different then the others so he don't rage and he can understand.

I do thank you for pointing this out it will be something i need to pay attention to.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms