Ignores the word no!

MJ - posted on 12/26/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So our little man is about to be 2 and I'm beginning to feel like a parrot! I was raised southern style which definitely leaned towards physical punishment for discipline and I'm not for it. The problem is B does not listen! I try to do timeouts but he isn't cognitively able to understand yet (I think). I've resorted to hand slapping a few times but it just breaks my heart. What do I do???

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Amy - posted on 12/27/2013

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Redirection worked really well for me, NO becomes a word to ignore and almost becomes a game for them. I always found "don't touch that, come over here and play with this". It's distracts them and gets them focused on something else. I also chose my battles very carefully. Once you say no you have to stick to it so I make sure it's worth the battle, some things aren't worth the fight so unless it was going to cause serious injury I let my kids explore.

Ev - posted on 12/26/2013

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Have you tried redirection from the one thing he is doing that you do not want him doing? That is also another option you have. Sometimes redirection is the best choice because you give them an alternate way to do something and you could continue to send them in that same direction so they learn that the other behavior is not wanted. If they say climb on the table, you are going to yell "no" anyway. But if they are getting into items you do not want them to get into, instead of putting them up, direct them to things that they can get into and tell them those other things are not for them. It takes consistancy and a lot of work to get them to do what you expect. But do not set expectations too high for kids this young. Only add to that as they grow.

Ann - posted on 12/26/2013

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My daughter just turned two this year. She's a very spirited child and really does not like being told what she can and can not do. We've done the time-outs (they work on rare occasion) the hand-slapping, the yelling at, sit in a corner, take away toys, etc. Right now you just can't give up on saying no. If she does something wrong we say NO in a stern yet understanding voice and she gets a slap on the hand. I found having too many disciplines for certain actions, they can't follow what it is they are being punished for in the first place. Ever since we agreed on one form of discipline she's been 100x better. and believe it or not we took away all sweets, candies, any form of sugar and her negative and outrageous attitude has changed drastically we were flabbergasted. Try punishments in week alternations and see which one might have the greater effect on him and reaction, then just use that one until he can better understand forms of discipline :)

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Ev - posted on 12/27/2013

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MJ-The proper time is to praise good behavior and you can use that as he grows up too. When he is older, consider praise for when he brings home grades from school. A lot of people think its a good idea to reward grades in all sorts of ways. I find that so wrong because the kids will learn to equate the reward be it money amounts per grade or something for doing well. Praise during grading sessions is more proper than rewards. It gives the child motivation to strive for better rather than that $20 they got for good grades. The money is gone or there is a material item there instead of pride in a good job. It also motivates them as they get into high school because they learn that those good grades pay off for college.

MJ - posted on 12/27/2013

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Thanks Everyone, yea redirection is what we've always used except now he is very focused and not easily distracted. lol. He is all boy and loves to climb onto everything. The kitchen table, his little table, the entertainment center. Those are the only ones that get the crazy immediate no. The Christmas tree was the recent battle but it's hard to blame him since they're all so shiny. I have noticed a slight pattern in that he's using negative behavior to attract attention. I'm now making it a point to praise him while playing properly. Crossing my fingers this will help too.

MJ - posted on 12/26/2013

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Thxs Ann. Our son is also very spirited and independent! Overall he is a very happy and loving child. We will definitely try one consistently weekly to see which is more effective.

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