Im 16 and my baby daddy is 28 should i tell my family about him?

Kyla - posted on 05/28/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




I had a hard time in life and am very mature for my age, and i met a 27 year old who i connected with. Im one week away from my duedate and my father is very excited but he doesn't know who the father is as i have kept it a secret. Me and the baby's daddy are very close and both want our child to have a father in her life but im going crazy with guilt thinking about if i should tell my dad or not?
Please any advice will help, i really like this guy and i dont want to cause problems for him but we want to be a family.
What should i do?


JuLeah - posted on 05/28/2011




You are 16? He'd go to jail, do you know that? When you are ... 17, I think, it will be legal for you to be with him. But if it is proven he had sex with a child, and you are a child in the eyes of the law, he will go to jail.
What is family? Lies, secrets? What foundation are you starting out with here? Who does your father think this guy is? I assume he will be there at the birth and helping to raise the child?
You might be as mature as you say, but any man who has sex with a 16yr old, will be questioned and judged. Your maturity doesn't matter and is not really the issue. The issue is, he is an adult and he knew better. He understood about birth control, and choose not to use it. He is allowing you, at age 16 to deal with this issue he created. He created this situation, he needs to step up and take some action here, it is not all on your shoulders.
If your father will support you, tell him the truth. You need all the support you can get right now.

[deleted account]

Well.... if your father is excited about you becoming a mother at 16, he 'shouldn't' have any trouble w/ the baby's father being 28..... If you want a life w/ this man, how would you NOT tell your family?


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Vera - posted on 05/28/2011




Tell your father, after all it is the responsible thing to do. With out giving you a "mommy" lecture - it's also the smart thing to do as well.

You already know how many women in the US that have to raise their children with out the fathers (for numerous reasons) - your dad is the one that will be there helping you raise yours, most likely in his house, with him paying the bills, helping you and your child financially.. etc - your father. He will also and will help you if your childs father leaves. So do him a favor be honest - come clean.

Your childs father knew what he was doing and what situation he was putting himself in when he started having sex with a 15/16 year old - he also needs to "man" up and take responsibility even if it is jail time and added to sex offender list (in 2 states I've lived in the legal age is 18 and if you're 17 and he is 18 at the time they automatically go on the sex offenders list.)

I know it's a tough decision and things will be ok but as some unwanted advice - unless you're married have the test done to confirm he is the father - have the papers for chid support and visitation drawn up... just my advice for what it's worth. May cause a fight with him but better safer than sorry in this situation and you'll need all the financial help you can get.

Cynthia - posted on 05/28/2011




your dad is likely to flip out and either kill the guy or have him arrested if that is a option. thats what i would do.

Blackwood - posted on 05/28/2011




I think you should tell him, maybe not mention his age and let your dad get too know him and see him with you and your baby. I'm sure your dad would be happier knowing that you are with the baby's daddy and happy then him thinking you are gonna be doing this alone. If the subject of age comes up then tell him. You could say I have been keeping him a secret becuz he is older then me and I'm at first I was really worried, but then I decided that you should meet him and see what I see in him. So for now I'm not going to tell you his age and let you know him for his personality and the person he is instead of his age.". Dont' stress, you should be happy your life is about the change in the most craziest, best, amazing way. Best wishes.

[deleted account]

Kasey you should tell your dad. You really should have told him much much earlier. Best wishes to you and your family.

[deleted account]

Depends where you are JuLeah. Our age of consent IS 16.... used to be 14 about 10-15 years ago.....

But I agree w/ you on the rest.

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