im a single dad with a three year old daughter and i cant calm her down as she only wants her mum what can i do?
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Bec - posted on 06/23/2011
oh i said distraction as it sounded more like a transition thing and thies is very common and very hard for youg kids as well as special kids and I was not sure what the situation was, but that how it sounded to me.Plus if he has not had her in his care before or much it should be positive rather thatn conflict to establish report and a common bond.
Vera - posted on 06/23/2011
It really depends on why she is crying for her mom but (it sounds mean saying this) most of the time kids play the "other parent" card to get their way! Yes, she may miss her mom but going into hysterics over it is over board. So sitting her down and speaking with her. Find out why she is feeling this way, let her know things will be ok, and let her know the behavior is not acceptable, and what will happen if the behavior doesn't stop.
You also may want to assess the situation – age appropriate – are they hungry, tired, what triggered the tantrum. Go from there when deciding on dealing with it.
We speak to our children and discuss the problem. If they are still out of control we ask them to go lay down in bed and close the door and let them cry it out. (it may not be what every parent would do but for us you can’t fix a problem when one person is in hysterics crying and hitting and yelling the same thing over and over again.. so when they calm down they can come out of the room and talk about it)
Almost always they go to sleep (because they were tired) and wake up a totally different person. And yes - we get the other parent card (they even use me the step mom when dad/mom isn't letting them do what they want)
Sorry your little one is feeling sad just remember communication is key.
Spoiling her is NOT a good idea - I believe that distraction is ok but to what limit - if she was throwing a fit over cartoons because you said no ... then you turned them on to distract her from her fit - it just taught her fits get her what she wants and she will do fits to continue down that path.
It isn’t easy for a child to be away from mom or dad but it is something you need to work with her with. If it is truly a problem being away from mom and you are her guardian now you may want to look into family counseling .. just to help you adjust to the situation.
Bec - posted on 06/23/2011
calm your self down if your stressed think of storey, massage,bath,hot chocolate nice calm stuff. Diversian distraction, photo album of pets you have etc or famillar things. hard to help as what rtggered it mum just left/ dropped off? maybe mum and you should have planned better for childs sake and made asocial storey, could do this for next time in preparation. will she calm if she speaks to her mum or get worse? Thats assumming you are on speaking terms? Hard to answer with limited info about the situation.
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