im a single mother dealing with a drug addicted MIA father, what do i do?

Gillian - posted on 03/29/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Im wondering if other ladies out there have delt with this problem... my babies daddy is addicted to drugs and he is bi polar with anxiety problems (drug induced im sure) some days we see each other and things go great, other days he hates me, now as of right now we saw each other on saturday and things went really well, we discussed him getting help and he seemed to be very open about it and said he wants to get help but wants to try on his own first. we ended up texting all night then nothing. i have not heard a thing from him since. which is weird bc he usually texts me back even if were fighting. its hard to try to ignore him bc well he too is a parent. im wondering what other mothers have done in these situations. i know focusing on myself and son is what i should be doing, and i have been, i also have applied for child support and custody, its just frustrating bc he is right now, a mia deadbeat dad. idk what to do. he keeps coming and going as he pleases with no repercussions and our son is def beeing affected, anyone please share your expirences.

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Tabitha - posted on 03/29/2012

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I've had a similar experience. My son's father is a bi-polar alcoholic, absentee father. In and out of his life, never dependable, that sort of thing. You need to protect your child. This guy has too many issues! Bi-polar people are very dangerous if they're not taking their meds right. And considering he's a drug addict, I doubt he's takin his bi-polar meds right. Anxiety isn't as bad but it's probably made worse with his drug problem. You'll never feel comfortable leaving your child with him, you might not be safe having him over for visits. If you want him to have visits, I would ask the court to order supervised visits. If it's possible, just leave him out of your child's life and save him the heartache of what's to come. I'm sure I sound harsh right now. But life is harsh sometimes.

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Tabitha - posted on 03/29/2012

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Exactly! Do what you have to do. Don't worry about ultimatums or anything like that. Just take care of you and your son without him. If he cleans up, he cleans up...If he doesn't, he doesn't. But he won't be hurting you and your son in the process. Also, do not cover for him where your son is concerned. Obviously, he doesn't need all of the details. But don't lie to your son about why he's not around...be age appropriate about it. You don't want him growing up with Daddy on the high horse, he'll want to be just like him.

Gillian - posted on 03/29/2012

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yes yes yes, absolutly. so then doing what i need to do will hopefully turn him around but i cant worry about it, i have to worry about myself.

Tabitha - posted on 03/29/2012

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He needs his father in his life, he doesn't need a drug addicted loser that can't clean up his act running in and out of his life.

Gillian - posted on 03/29/2012

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agreed. that was my thought but i hoped us leaving made his fall to rock bottom happen even quicker. my son needs his father in his life, he is reacting really bad to this.

Tabitha - posted on 03/29/2012

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Even still, you need to think about you and your son. His father will have to face his demons and addictions on his own.

Gillian - posted on 03/29/2012

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he isnt a diagnosted bi polar, it just seems that way, the drugs do that. its very hard to be told by the sober him how much he needs help and loves us but then the ddict happens and its like tourture all over again.

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