im at my witt's ends and have no clue what to do

Andria - posted on 04/12/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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it all started august of 2013 when I told my child's father I wanted to move out to get my GED because he didn't want me to drop to part time at my job in order to obtain my GED.But we was still dating when I did move into to my mothers house . I'm not the type of person to keep my child away from her fsther .. I want her to have a father in her life unlike me . But he didn't want to believe me so he had his mommy dearest hire a lawyer to draw up joint custody paper work . note . we were never married .I signed the papers to give him some ease to his mind that I would NEVER keep our daughter from him nor move out of state . from the months of august - December 10th he wasn't going by the paper work .. he said that they were there in case things didn't work out . I told him I was officially done n couldn't tolerate him anymore but I wanted to keep it civil between us for our child's sake .December 25th I started dating a guy which he is a black man .My child's father was highly pissed cuz he is a racist . As of December 25th he wanted to start going by the paper work.every time he would pick my daughter up or drop her off he ALWAYS had something to say like "I heard your boyfriend is a nasty nigger" "why don't you and your nigger go have a little nigger baby" and just highly uneccesary remarks . by the paper work he has her from sunday at noon un til Thursday at 530 am . there has been three incidents where my alarm never went off n I didn't wake up until a couple hours later n id call to see if I could come pick her up and he would tell me nope u wasn't there at the appointed time so I don't geet her until next visit but in the paper work it doesn't state at all that if I don't show up at the scheduled time then I wouldn't receive my daughter . ive went to the city police and got told that there was nothing they could do but to call county . I called county and they told me to call state . I called state and they told me to call county. I am getting the run around with this situation and also I tried to call land of Lincoln and they said they couldn't help me because my child's father was gouing through them . this is the only group that I kno of that would help individuals who doesn't have money to buy a lawyer . But his mom gets paid damn near $30 an hour and shes the one who bought the lawyer to do the joint custody paper work .hell , she even bought him a new chevy avalanche truck . the only reason he is using that group is because he knew that was the only group that could help me . Now I am stuck here not knowing what in the world to do . I know he's trying to prove me as an unfit mother which I do not have anything to hide and I always hold a job and im bout to start college in winter . I know im not an unfit mother but all this stress and greif he is causing me has me to the point where im going to see a counsler now ..can anybody in the state of Illinois help me figure out what to do because ive never been in a situation like this and I need help . please help me ......a distressed mother

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Andria - posted on 04/12/2014

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thanks I appreciate your advice .. im going to P.A.V.E and going to speak with them so I know exactly what they say . because like I said my friend had called them for me . which is why im going up there Monday

Jodi - posted on 04/12/2014

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Actually, if the joint custody is a legal document (which it sounds like it is because you all signed it and it was drawn up by lawyers), it isn't a joke at all. Married or not. I'm not sure where you live, but in some places, if you just went and collected her and then didn't let her go back to him, that could be considered parental alienation and you may lose custody. As it stands, he is doing that to you right now. You need to keep a diary of evidence to demonstrate what is going on.

You really need to go back to court and change the orders. What he is doing is wrong, but I'd also be careful assuming that he has no joint custody just because you were never married when there is clearly a legal document of sorts in place. Talk to a lawyer.

Andria - posted on 04/12/2014

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thankfully one of my friends called P.A.V.E for me and they said that since we were never married the joint custody is a joke and that I still have full custody of my child and that if I go put an order of protection against him for my daughter that I can go take her back and itll mess up him and his plans of trying to prove me unfit and speed up the court process . im very happy right this moment . I just have to wait until Monday to go and file it against him .. but the reason why its set at 530am is because I was being nice and going with his work schedule cuz he had to be at work by 6 . which when we was still together but living in separate residency he would take her to his moms and when I would wake up then id go get her from his mom . but since im with another man he wants to pull the joint custody paper work and some what abide by what he believes that they state just like him keeping my daughter from me because my alarm clock is having issues and I didn't show up at the appointed time so there for I gave up my days .. although in the paper work it does not state that he can do that an ive showed the police but yet they still wont help .. which is fine cuz im filing a complaint and a harassment complaint on them

Dove - posted on 04/12/2014

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5:30am is a ridiculous time to switch visitation, but if you agreed to it... the only thing you can do is abide by it or take it back to court.

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