Im losing my marbles!!!!!

Naje - posted on 01/06/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My Child will be three years old in about a week and I have been potty training for six months. Every time I put him on the toilet he cries and keeps getting up, its irritating. Now my other problem is his father and I are not together (were both really young) and he does not have bedtime schedule . Every time I try to put one in place he comes home and wont go to sleep until midnight after hours of me putting him BACK into his bed multiple times. Because I am young his fathers side of the family likes to step all over my rules and boundaries and take advantage of the fact that I am so young. He is starting to talk back, have tantrums and is all around acting out and I'm trying my best. I work part time and I'm trying to enroll in school. This is making me lose sleep at night and my sanity. PLEASE HELP!!!

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Naje - posted on 01/07/2016

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Thank you everyone! Your advice is all very helpful and I plan to put some of these suggestions to use. I appreciate it

Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016

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I agree with Dove about the potty training. My son was very similar - a very stubborn potty trainer! We went through a similar stage. In the end, I decided to back off and ignore the potty for a month or so. I took the time to put a little reward process in place and then started it up again, and he trained like a dream. He was almost 3 1/2. The reward charts were sticker charts. He had to get a certain number of stickers to get a bigger reward (eg, a book about his favourite character, a truck, a Thomas the Tank drink bottle - I bought a whole heap of little incentives that I had ready to go), and at the very end, when he had been dry for so long he was unlikely to go back, he got an entire Thomas the Tank Backpack!! He was so excited by getting his rewards each time - I would display it up on top of the cupboard so he could see it, and the sticker chart was right next to his potty.

With regard to the different rules in different houses, there isn't a great deal you can do about this. Even if it wasn't a case of your in-laws deliberately "stepping all over your rules an boundaries" you can't control the rules in the other home. That's just the way of it and what you are going through is pretty typical. This is a case of different rules, different house. You need to get used to it. The tantrums are normal too. Don't give in to the tantrums, have consequences for talking back, get him back into routine as soon as possible. Be really, really consistent about YOUR expectations, rules, boundaries and consequences in your home and he will eventually understand how he is supposed to act in your home. Yes, it will take time, but in a couple of years, he will have a total understanding of this, sooner if you are super consistent.

Dove - posted on 01/07/2016

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It sounds like you may need to take a step back from potty training for a few weeks at least. If this has been going on for 6 months it may take even longer before he stops being resistant. Potty training should not be a battle and if the child is physically AND emotionally ready... it won't be.

3 is a rough age under the best of circumstances... if he is going back and forth between homes w/ vastly different schedules it is likely to take him even longer to 'settle'.

Keep the rules short and simple. Be firm (but gentle) and consistent when enforcing consequences (like time out or short term loss of a favorite toy). Ignore the tantrums when you can... and breathe! There are some things in life you can control and a lot more things you can't... so try and let go of some of the struggles that, in the end, won't REALLY matter that much.

Hang in there!

Joann - posted on 01/06/2016

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Hi Naje! I have boys to and when they were your son age I got them a potty and what I told them Is they use the potty that I will reward them with a treat. They like that and It worked every time. For bed time let him fall asleep in your bed lets use 9:00 P.M as a example get in bed with him and read him a story hope by then he will be sleep, but if he's not, then turn the lights off and tell him it's bed time. Sorry you are going through that with his father.

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