Im moving so my daughter is going to stay with her father.

V - posted on 03/20/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




Im moving away but my daughter does not want to move. She has the opportunity to go to a prestigious Catholic High School so she is choosing to stay with her father. The problem is I have had her for the last 14 years and has not required her father to pay child support so he could help provide her with a good education from catholic school. When our relationship ended 6 yrs ago it was my decision so he is still angry and refused to help with any finances concerning her living expenses. He has only paid tuition for her schooling.

Now that she is going to move with him he is making all sorts of financial threats. I do no want to deprive my daughter of this excellent education but I also want to know how to protect myself. He is a very evil and vindictive person so I dont know what I should do to protect myself. I have agreed to pay half of the yearly tuition but I dont think he will stop there. While he has not help me with any living expenses since we have broken up he has mentioned that hes going to make sure I help him. Is there anyway to protect myself from this person besides taking my child with me and possibly ruining an excellent opportunity? Can he really hurt me financially when he hasnt contributed in so long? I have considered going put myself on child support to eliminate disaster but I dont think that is the answer.

I am definitely praying that is the only way I have made it thus far with this person.

P.S. I am not from here but he is. I am 1000 miles away from my friends and family and after 11 years I am ready to be closer to my family. I stayed because I have a daughter just graduated from college and another starting college in the fall.


[deleted account]

Well, if there has been no court agreement so far, then yes.... he could take you to court and make your life miserable.

Trust me. It's not fun. My ex bailed when our son (3rd child) was born. Moved as far away from us as he could get and still be in the same state (have to take a plane to get back and forth). We were going through the courts, but he was gone for almost a year and a half before he walked into court and tried to get full custody.... just because he's a jerk. If it's a jerk you are dealing w/.... NEVER underestimate what they are capable of doing just to try and hurt you.


View replies by

Jennifer - posted on 03/20/2011




My best advice is talk to a lawyer. Most have free consultations, so they can tell you what he can do, without you having to hire them right away.

V - posted on 03/20/2011





There has been no custody appointed or any child support through the court. It was automatically established that my kids would live with me. He didnt want the responsiblity of driving kids to school every day or to activities every weekend so that has been my job.

I do understand what you are saying and will definitely consider it.


[deleted account]

He can go to court and make you pay child support just as you should've done 6 years ago. What sort of custody/child support have you had through the court?

Honestly, I'd just stay there until she is out of high school. I'm sure that isn't what you want to hear, but when it's already been 11 years.... what's 4 more when it comes to the well-being of your child?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms