im new to this so i dont know if anyone can see and comment on this but i would like some advice! i have a 5 year old son who is my life, ive brought him up alone for the first 2 years of hes life as hes biological father has not bothered with him, he is on the birth certificate though. he seen my son in that first two year a handfull of times and he could not look after my son properly and he would chose alcohol and his friends over him, well now 3 year has passed without him even asking how my son is and he will blank him in the street and i have had a new partner for almost 3 years now and my son calls him dad, he chose to call him dad, and yesterday i recieved a letter through the post from hes biological fathers solicitor which was full of lies as he had told them he was a big part of my son's life until he was 3 years of age and then i stopped contact, which i never ive always put my son first and i always knew having his father involved was the best thing for him and i never ever thought i would end up a single parent without any help at all from his father but when i got with my current partner almost 3 years ago now he has took my child on as hes own and they love the bones of each other they are never apart, but the biological father is now trying to get contact but telling lies to try and get it, i cant see my solicitor until the end of the month so was just looking for a bit of advice, im so worried, my son has already said he doesnt want to see him i sat him down and explained everything and he said he already has hes daddy and that hes grandad is like hes second daddy and that he doesnt want to see his biological father, i cant make him see him and to be honest his biological father doesnt deserve to see him after things he has done to us in the past, i dont see why my current partner should have hes parental rights taken away after bringing our son up for 3 year and in that three year he has done more for him than hes biological father has done in the 5 years he has been here, just need a little advice as to what could happen, could my son be made to have contact?


~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/17/2013




Well, if the courts are saying the bio father has rights, and should have visitations, there is really nothing you can do about it. But you can petition for supervised visits, or whatever else you would like to see happen. Be sure to tell the truth about everything, and also let them know that your son does not want to see his father. I give you a lot of credit for not lying about his bio dad to him, and just pretending that your partner is the father. So many mothers do this, and I just don't understand how that makes a situation better, when it is inevitable for the child to find out the truth at some point in their lives. This can be very damaging. I really wish you the best of luck, and just do the best that you can. Explain to your son that he may have to spend time with him, and try your best to keep it on a positive note. Show him pictures of him, so he is at least familiar with how he looks. Tell him good happy stories of the times you were together. Just do whatever you can to make it a comfortable situation for him. Because, the father has rights, it is most likely he will get visitation, so you might as well make it as easy on your son as you possibly can. Good luck, and welcome to CoM.


View replies by

Dove - posted on 01/17/2013




Little Miss pretty much said it all.

Your current partner doesn't actually HAVE parental rights though... unless bio father's rights were terminated and current partner adopted him. Current partner obviously IS Daddy to your son and that won't change just because bio father may get visitation.

The court doesn't typically listen much to the 'he said/she said' side of things. Unless your ex has proof that he's been trying to contact you and his son... that lie won't last long.

Hang in there!

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