im scared to send my daughter to pre school

Lindsay - posted on 07/29/2009 ( 30 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 3 and she’s ready to go its just me im soo scared to send her there’s so many reasons why but the 3 main ones are 1 she has a lot of medical issues and she gets sick very easy (she has a blood disorder that make her white cells the ones that fight infection very low at times) but shes been very very healthy for about a good year 1/2 2 im scared other kids will walk all over here or pick on her (my daughter is to nice and yes at time its good but she will stand in line to wait for something and she will let kids just keep getting in front of her i just wish she stood up for her self a lil more. and last but not least im scared the TEACHERS will not be as nice to the kids as they are when the parents are around. sorry its soo long but i just wanted to know if any other moms felt this way are am i just crazy lol thanks

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[deleted account]

Did you know that 20 years ago NO ONE went to preschool and many of us are PHDs and MDs and "rocket scientists"? Most of us somehow learned how to play with others without the "benefit" of preschool. There seems to be this mentality these days that if you don't get the kid in preschool ASAP that they will be warped for life or something. I'm not saying YOU have this mentality but if you feel pressured by that expectation, then I'm reassuring you that your child will be fine, in fact she'll probably be happier and healthier if she continues to stay home with you at least another year. God gives moms a "gut feeling" for a reason. You should listen to it. If your "gut" is telling you she's not ready, don't send her! :-)

Racheal - posted on 07/29/2009

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Hey Lindz,



Number 1: If you think she's ready, then send her. You know her better than anybody else does. Follow your instincts.



Number 2: Maybe being exposed to more kids will force her to stand up for herself more. And being in pre school the the teachers wont let other kids push past her in line and shell start to see thats not the way things go.



Number 3: The teachers arent as bad as you think. At the babys daycare all the teachers know her name even the ones that aretn her teacher. if you can, come at different times to pick her up so you can see how they treat her when they don't know your coming.



Number 4: Let the teachers know about her health issues. If they think something is wrong, they'll call you. she'll have her regular check ups so you'll know if something is wrong. As much as we might like we cant protect them from everything all the time. Sometimes the best thing for the child is to let go.



Hope i helped.

Kitty - posted on 07/29/2009

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I was afraid to send my first one to preschool when she was that age. She was only 3 pounds when she was born and was still very small for her age then, For the first week, i actually stayed and watched from the background. i let the teachers do their thing, i just watched. I was amazed at how being around other kids helped Amanda to become more socialable and self confident. I was also happy to see that the other kids were actually more gentle with her and treated her like a little porceline doll because she was smaller than them. if you have worries, stay for the first few days and then go make unschedualed visits. If you think she is not ready, feel free to not send her and arrange play dates with other parents instead for social skills.

Tracy - posted on 07/29/2009

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I did not send my son to pre-school at 3, i did daycare instead to help him to socialize in a smaller setting. I did send him to pre-k at 4 years old and I recommend it to anyone who is contemplating it! he was so shy before and he LOVES school! He has 2 best friends and misses them this summer. I also have an older child who has epilepsy and a heart valve defect. I understand what you are saying when you are worried about the baby getting sick. They definitely do get sick more often but the best way to build antibodies is to expose yourself to germs. If you are very, very worried check with her pediatrician, maybe he/she can resolve some of your fears?

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Veronica - posted on 10/11/2012

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Hey ok i know this is bad but my daughter is 4yrs old and i still havent send her , we went last year it was going to be her first day at school and she cried so much i took her out and she never went back. i know she needs to start school once she turns 5 but everyone has been on me about it. I am sooo over protective with my kids, i call the baby sitter ecery chance i get to check up and if they dont answer i start freakin out.

Tanya - posted on 04/15/2010

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you are just a loving mum who i think will find it harder than ur daughter actully will. with her medical condition, they will need to bee informed about it and given the information on what to do. the other kids wont even know what is wrong with her, unless she tells them or u tell them. she will fit in fine and probably have heaps of fun and bring home heaps of cute art work for you that shes done.

Iridescent - posted on 04/14/2010

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Wth? This is nearly a year old, so I'm sure it's been over and done with now as the school year is about over.

Sheree - posted on 04/14/2010

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I know how you feel, my SIL works for a day care/pre school and had no idea about anything with our daughter when she was born. I was like argh, your looking after how many kids each day and you dont know the basics. Its really put me off, but lucky i dont have to think about it for a while yet :)

Jeni - posted on 04/14/2010

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im scared too!
its hard wen you have a sick child. my son only 9 months so he not ready for daycare yet but im just worried that a child will share something with him and he will get sick from his allergies
(severe allergies)

Heather - posted on 07/29/2009

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Lindsay,

I have a 5 yr old boy, Jacob, who is handicapped. In Massachusetts, kids have in home early intervention until age 3, then the public school system takes over, hte child enters pre school in the school system and receives all their therapies there. I was TERRIFIED that they wouldn't know how to take care of him, that all the other kids would pick on him or make fun of him and not play with Jacob. I was totally worng. The staff were incredible! I spent the first 2 wks in the classroom w him, and another wk w his aide teaching her about Jacob. She was extremely receptive. The kids love him- they give him high-fives, give him toys, draw him pics, etc. My son also has immune issues, and recently had ITP- Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia- a white cell/low platelet disorder what affected his immune system and platelet count, left him very susceptible to bleeding and bruising. I talked with the school nurse, who is now a good family friend and everything was fine. Also,the teacher made sure all the kids washed their hands when they came in, before lunch and before snack. They also wiped down the room/toys/furniture frequently. Go talk to the teacher, school nurse and principal about your issues of you're thinking about sending her to public prek, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Dana - posted on 07/29/2009

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Mother's intuition is there for a reason : )

My first literally pushed me out the door his first day of K but my 4 yr old never went. Now I homeschool so I'm around at those moments when my child may be pushed around or may be pushing another kid around. I find those to be teaching moments and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Listen to your instincts and appreciate having them. I think all parents are reluctant to send their kid to school if the kid has been at home all along, I'm sure its easier if you do daycare first.

Luatoya - posted on 07/29/2009

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I was a preschool teacher b4 i had my children and when my oldest was 2 and talking we put him in daycare 3 days a week and at 3 he went 5 days a week at kindercare, when he turned 4 he went to the elementary school for preschool. My son turned into the most independent and brightest child i have ever known. He adjusted so well to military life and the moving around bcause he learned to adjust through his experiences. My youngest started the ymca in january when he turned three and he LOVES IT!! he does yoga and swimming lessons and they go on awesome field trips. I was a worry wart bcause my children were premature and have bad asthma and allergies but they have built up their immune system from being around other children and i cant 4get potty training was easier bcause they wanted to be like the other kids and use the potty!! Everything new is scary 4 us but can be great 4 our kids

Mona - posted on 07/29/2009

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Lindsay,
You don't have to worry about the teachers. Having worked in a daycare and kindergarten class with an awesome teacher, I can tell you these people get into those positions because they have a passion for what they do. Keep the lines of communication open and express your worries of your daughter not standing up for herself. Sometimes children will be more bold when their parents aren't around.
I would get an ok from her doctor above and beyond anything.
http://moremilestones.blogspot.com

JEANNETTE - posted on 07/29/2009

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HEY GIRL:) DONT WORRY TOO MUCH. SHE WILL LOVE IT. SHE IS GOING TO ENJOY HER SELF. I WILL BE TAUGHT ALOT OF THINGS. MY SON JIMMY KNOWS SO MUCH IT'S INCREABLE. JIMMY HAS BEEN IN DAYCARE SINCE HE WAS 3MONTHS OLD. ALL THE STAFF LOVE HIM AND GIVE HIM LOTS OF ATTENTION. LINDSAY MAKE SURE WHEN YOU LOOK AROUND. LOOK FOR GROWN ASS WOMEN NOT YOUNG GIRL THAT JUST WANT TO WORK THERE WITH NO EXPERIENCE. HOPE THIS WILL BE A GOOD ADVICE LOVEYA

[deleted account]

Understand your concerns! There is nothing more infective than a school! My son went to daycare from 1-4 and then transititioned to a public school when he was 5 and because he was at daycare, he had built up a fairly decent immune system but so many of the other children had not so half of his class was out during the winter with the flu. Leaving him on day one of Pre-K was real hard and everyday for him. I had to make alternate arrangements for after school program, because it was too much for him, thank goodness I was introduced to a "grandmother" of one of the students who took my son in and treated him with the after school TLC that he needed, when I could not be there.

Sharon - posted on 07/29/2009

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I have to agree with Jessi - which is why I was concerned about the health above the other concerns. Every year I had a child in kindergarten or daycare - omg was the worst year for colds & flu.

Kate CP - posted on 07/29/2009

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Those immune system boosting medications you can get OTC are actually just vitamins and if a person has a true immune disorder they won't do a thing.

Jessi - posted on 07/29/2009

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If she gets sick easily, I would be worried too. My son was pretty healthy, until he went to pre-k at 3. He was sick a lot the first year. Last year at age 4, he did way better. Pre-k is good for them as far as learning and making friends. Here the teachers are good and fun. My son loved going. Maybe talk to your doctor about those immune medication that you can get in the store. You take BEFORE you enter a room full of people and germs. I wouldn't worry about anything, except for the sickness.

Kate CP - posted on 07/29/2009

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What kind of immune disorder does she have? What part of her immune system is depleted? That can have a great influence on how susceptible she is to infection. I was diagnosed with chronic neutropenia about 12 years ago so I know how hard it is to stay healthy some times. Things you can do to help is when she gets home change her clothes immediately and do a load of laundry as soon as you can. Carry anti-bacterial gel with you and encourage her to wash her hands. Tell the administration about her condition and they will be happy to accommodate you and your daughter's needs.

Kate CP - posted on 07/29/2009

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See if you can find a private preschool with small classrooms of like 10 kids. That cuts down on the chances of infection, makes the class setting a more intimate and "family like" environment, and lets the teachers get to know the kids better.

Every mom is nervous about sending their kid to school for the first time. Just be picky, find the one that you like the best, and tell them you expectations. :)

Stina - posted on 07/29/2009

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My eldest DS was very laid back around other kids too- he'd let them take toys, he'd stand in the back and let them pass him... Then I had his sister and as soon as she got big enough to take toys from him, he figured out pretty quick how to hold on to them and even take them back... Your daughter will learn how to stick up for herself once she's in an environment where she has to hold onto her toys if she wants to play with them... and she will also learn how to share. (4 1/2 and 2 1/2 my eldest two share pretty well most of the time)



As for being afraid of her getting sick because of her medical condition, definately talk to her doctor to see if he has concerns or not... My son had a very hard start to life and for the first year we were very protective of him because an illness could land him back in the hospital. Once he got past that first year though, the doctor encouraged us to let him be exposed to more people and germs so his immune system could build up. Her doctor will know best whether you need to worry about her immune system enough to keep her home another year.



As for your fear of the teachers not being as nice to the kids as they are when the parents are around, ask about the screening process for teachers at your daughters preschool. Most teachers are there because they love kids and want to teach them. Try to find a preschool where the teachers actually hold certificates. My kids went to a daycare for a while where they were trying to operate as a 'preschool' type daycare... they called all the workers teachers but none of them had actually gone to school to become certified. It was just a way for them to make their daycare more appealing. Even then, the 'teachers' at the daycare were all nice to the children.

Sharon - posted on 07/29/2009

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All of your concerns aside - its the medical that concerns me. What do her pediatricians say about it?

Charlotte - posted on 07/29/2009

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dont be afraid to sen her to preschool, especially if it is a headstart program. i work at headstart. there are a lot of things you can do to get prepared for her to go to preschool so she wont be scared either. take her up to the childcare center and intoduce her to everyone,so that way when she has to go she wont be as freaked out. dont be afriad if she cries the first couple of weeks bc its all new and has probably never been away from you, trust the teachers.if you hang around it kinda makes it worse, there will be someone there to redirect her to something different or even wait at the window to say buy bye. your daughter will learn the ropes, social ,emotional teaching is what is happening at 3. to socialize and learn what is right and what is not right, with kids her age this will help her stand up for herself and use her words more! if you as a mom has walked through the center and has discussed the issues you have and your worries it is alot easier when it comes communication through out the year with the teachers. most of the teachers will be willin to help you out in any way.i hope everything works out for her and you. hope i helped just a little bit. charlotte

Danielle - posted on 07/29/2009

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i feel the same way my lil girl is 3 and will be starting in aug and she is sooo ready. i am worried about all the kids picking on her or being mean. i mean she doesnt have health problems but she does have adhd and her feelings get hurt easy and yess the teachers is another thing. im not sure what to do either. but its not just you that feels that way i think alot of moms feel this way. but if you feel you should wait then please do bc only you knows whats best for your child.

Tanya - posted on 07/29/2009

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your not crazy I could understand your fear. I would have the same fear if I were in your shoes. But at the same time she would do great in pre school. It will teach her to stand up for herself and great social skills that she needs. Teachers do play nicer to children when parents are around but who doesnt put on a show now and again. My daughter is goin into kindergarten. She went through headstart & pre-k. She loved it. It helped her to develop so much and pulled her personallity out. I wish u the best.

Kristy - posted on 07/29/2009

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i felt exactly the same as u did! my oldest now, when goin 2 preschool 1st had fibrile convulsions, sudden anytime anywhere but wanted to go to school no matter wat i thought all the thing u r thinking bout her bein picked on, being scared etc so i sat her down and talked 2 her and she spoke like a 30yo lol she even took the school bus on the 1st day coz she wanted 2 i was amazed i visited the school told the teachers her condition and what 2 do maddie was 3 when she started also. your lil1 may be different but when i seen hw confident she was i felt so much better, its scary i no and i missed her like crazy she is in yr 1 now doin great and from mummys good advice lol takes crapo from no1 :) hope i have helped a little.. kristy

Annetta - posted on 07/29/2009

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It is natural for a mom to be protective of their children. Personally I think 3 is a bit early to send your child to preschool. We have a program where I live called parents as teachers that helps moms to be their child's first teacher. You might hold her for an extra year if you are uncomfortable with the whole idea. Preschool is really a way to teach children how to socialize in a group of peers, I wish mine would have qualified to go, but she was too smart.

Diandra - posted on 07/29/2009

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I didn't get my daughter into preschool, until 4. Partly, because we are all teachers in the family and would work with her. Plus, my mother-in-law would watch her for us during the day. Believe me I have gone through the same thoughts: will they be OK, will they be safe, kids running over her, not playing nice, cutting in line, etc...I just learned that I had to try it out and see. Kids are resilient and they will stick up for themselves if need be. My daughter was shy also. Putting her in pre-school was a good thing for her. It helped her become more social with other kids, learn how to share, make friends, etc...She loves school! Putting her in will also help your daughter become more immune to germs, etc...If your nervous about the teachers, you can always go and observe or get feedback from other parents at the school.

Stevie - posted on 07/29/2009

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lindsay im a long way from having to send my son off to pre school but i can understand your worry for her getting sick but one thing you could do is give her vitamins or talk to your doctor about what you could do like extra vitamins or something make sure she gets her flu shot and is on time with all her shots healthy foods or juices like orange juice and i know that you think the kids will walk all over her but i dont think they will pick on her i was a small kid and im very nice but i guess i was bossy when i was young but i was shy and all that good stuff but she will learn that if she wants something she will figure out a way to get it and dont worry about the teachers they i dont think are any different from the way they were back in our day they have alot more rules now so you dont need to worry about any unruly punishment you wouldnt agree to or anything i think all will be ok you can always go and meet her teacher before you send her off or school starts you can tell her about your childs health issue and im sure her teacher would be happy to hear it from you good luck

Jennifer - posted on 07/29/2009

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Do you have to send her this year? Does she normally do daycare? I know AJ went to 1/2 day pre-k at 4 and ended up having like 10-12 sick days that year. He was out w/ the flu for a week and sick a few other times too, it was hard. He was better in K, but I think I would be hesitant too if she gets sick easily. Kids' immune systems are MUCH better at 5 and 6 than they are at 3. AJ did great in pre-k though! I loved his teacher, she was super and he had a great time. Evan is going this year and I'm a bit scared for him b/c it is all day and he's small for his age, but he tends to be very naughty to make up for it. lol I would be more concerned w/ the #1 on your list than the other 2, those are less likley to happen. Good luck.

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