Im so tired and unfulfilled

Lyndsay - posted on 07/03/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I don't really know what the hell is happening to me, I cant stop crying about EVERYTHING in my life. I constantly feel like failing in everything. Like I am failing everyone around me, my husband and my baby, my parents and his parents.
My 11 month old wont sleep through the night and hasn't all for 11 months, she eats the tiniest amount of solid food and then decides she has had enough and only wants breast milk again and i dont know how to encourage her to eat more and to be less attached to the breast. She wont got to sleep unless she is breastfed to sleep, she will sometimes go back to sleep if she wakes up in the night without it, but not always and it is normally just toughing through her crying when you do get around it.
Im trying so hard to practice attachment parenting, but, I feel like i missed something.. .I feel like it isnt supposed to be this hard. I hear so many mothers.. 'I just shoosh her to sleep and rub her belly and she drifts off to sleep' .. My girl.. Noooo.. None of that.
The house is NEVER clean and it disgusts me, I have no idea how to budget and neither does my partner so we are constantly strapped for cash with just enough food in the fridge because I buy all the wrong stuff.
I just feel like I missed something, like all these things someone should have explained to me how to do but nobody did..
I want to go back to work so badly but we cant afford daycare, but then.. we cant afford half the bills without me going back..
Im so stressed out that as soon as i even think about if im ok i burst into tears, i dont want to go anywhere cause people can just tell im not myself and that i seem sad... but then, im sad because im not going anywhere.
Its like im stuck in catch 22.
Please help me, i need advice!!

4 Comments

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Leigh - posted on 07/12/2012

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No problem. I appreciate the update. Glad you took our advice and spoke to your doctor and partner. Hope all goes well. Keep us in the loop.

Lyndsay - posted on 07/11/2012

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First off, Thank you for responding to me.
I went to the doctor and took a list of all the things that have been happening with my daughter and explained how she doesnt eat or sleep and he referred me to a pediatrician to have her intestines looked and what not.
I have been talking with my partner and he is going to help me a little more around the house.
I think I have been just trying to hard to do everything and putting it upon myself to keep our life running at a norm- Which it never does..
I spoke with the doc a little about how i have been feeling as well. I just need some time for myself to enjoy alone time and do things I want... To remember who i am other then just mum.

Thanks for the support.

Louise - posted on 07/03/2012

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Leigh is right, you need to sort your state of mind first so that you can deal with the other issues. Then find yourself a job, it sounds to me you would be happier working than staying at home all day, there is no shame in that, some mums prefer to work, so what! If you find a job that you would like to do then look into day care options. You may be able to afford a child minder in the area rather than a nursery. Just make sure they are registered and checked by the local authority. When you get paid divide the pay into 4 and only spend the weeks allowance on bills and food. It is quite easy to budget if you know what your limits are. Keep a book with all your bills in and write what you spend in there too. Keep a check of the total so you know how much you have left in the bank.

Now the sleeping sounds like more of a habit than a need for food. You have to stand firm with your little one now, at 11 months they do not require a feed in the night so stop. I know this means letting them cry it out, and that is a stressful time, but it only takes a few nights and once she has learnt to sleep through your life will seem so much better. There is nothing worse than broken sleep every night.

This is your time to claw back your life, if you want to work, work, sometimes it makes you a better parent. A happy mum has a happy baby!

Leigh - posted on 07/03/2012

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First off, have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling and the way your daughter is reacting to solid foods? Is it possible that she is allergic to something in the solid food that is causing her to dislike it? You might want to have her tested for allergies if you haven't already. I'll tell you right now, you aren't failing anyone in your life. Have you told your family and friends what you are going through and how you are feeling? If so, how do they react? If not, you need to sit down and talk to them in detail about everything. If your family lives nearby, maybe you can work something out with them to take your daughter for a couple days to give you time to get your house in order so you feel better in that sense. This will also give you and your partner time alone which sounds to be VERY much needed. If family isn't available, maybe some friends would like to take her to give you a break. Every mom needs a break from their children even if it is for just an hour, especially with as stressed as you are sounding. I hope this helps you in some way. Please let me know how things go and if you want to ask me anything on my advice go ahead. Good luck Lyndsay.

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