immature 9 year old

Louise - posted on 07/19/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 9 year old is very immature whenever she gets told off or things don't go her way she starts whining and having a temper tantrum she has just been diagonised with dyslexia unsure if there is something else wrong as well

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Dove - posted on 07/19/2016

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Children generally aren't 'just naughty'. They act out for a reason. Figuring out that reason and figuring out the best way to address it can help solve a lot of issues. There could be an emotional disorder at play, could be the start of hormones, could be... a whole host of reasons that I couldn't even begin to guess.

If she slams the door have you tried making her open and close it nicely a dozen times instead of scolding her. Calmly act like you must have to 'teach' her how to properly use the door since she seems to have forgotten.

I just posted on another thread about a trouble making 9 year old girl... and if it's getting worse it 'could' also be hormone related. Perhaps at the first sign that you are going to have a problem w/ her behavior you can suggest that she go relax in her room doing something she enjoys (like reading, drawing, doing a puzzle, listening to music, etc...). It 'might' just head off some of the issues before they become issues.

Louise - posted on 07/19/2016

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It has got worse the older she gets I normall ignore the whining but do tell her off for slamming doors and kicking things over my husband says she is just naughty but I am not sure

Dove - posted on 07/19/2016

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What is your reaction to the whining and the temper tantrum? Has she always done this or is it a more recent behavior? Have you changed the way you scold to see if that has an improvement on her reaction?

My son is almost 8.5 and he has depression and anxiety. When he was younger the temper tantrums over just about everything were extreme. Things have gotten a lot better w/ age (and 6 months of counseling when he was 6), but he will still get very frustrated and angry very easily at times. With him I have found that if I offer to snuggle w/ him (even if I'm the one he's angry at) at the first sign of upset I can head him off from getting more upset. When I can do that (not so easy if he's the one 'I' am angry at...lol) we have a much smoother time together.

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