Immaturity

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016 ( 53 moms have responded )

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Hello I'm new here I have a question about immaturity. If a adult is let's say 35 does maturity even matter meaning your an adult already.?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2016

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If you are living in HER home, you don't get to tell her to take a walk.

You get to leave. You NEED to be more responsible. Sorry if you don't like that, but you have created your situation, and you are the only one who can do anything about it.

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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Or you could do something about it. Sitting back and throwing up your hands and saying "but this is just the way I am because my mum made me this way" is a total cop out.

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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Actually, now that I think about it, I think my 11 year old has more maturity than you do.

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Michelle - posted on 09/25/2016

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So, just in case your aren't a troll:
Quit blaming your Mum for how your life has turned out.
YOU have made choices that see you in the position you are in.
YOU can make better choices and live your own life.
My Aunt keeps blaming everyone else for how her life has turned out and it doesn't change things.
Get yourself a job, stick to it and move out on your own. I don't know what 35yo old want to still live at home.

Ev - posted on 09/25/2016

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Jamie--do not be so dense about it. You should really stop to think things through before you do them.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Well like I said before I am on birth control so I am not a troll either so what no sex u til im married or committed?..

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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You have no business having sex when you are incapable of accepting the responsibilities of having sex. The fact that you said you should get pregnant just to 'stick it' to your mom shows you don't care actually care about any child you may have and it doesn't seem like you are understanding the need to take precautions to prevent you from getting a life altering STD. Sex w/ random people outside of being in a committed relationship is another thing that screams immaturity. Granted, I have 'strict' and 'outdated' beliefs regarding sex, but I know many other people that do not share those specific beliefs that STILL do not have sex outside of long term relationships... because they make adult decisions to protect themselves and and future potential children (by avoiding creating those children when they themselves are not in a stable place in life).

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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I know Dove.....fun times :/

Jamie, please don't have sex. Have you ever watched the movie Idiocracy? Just please don't have sex.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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I know Jodi, but if you read my latest post... I NEED the distraction. lol

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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It's probably even our 13 year old back to troll because she needs to get a life.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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It's not about her winning... it's about you acting like an adult and taking responsibility for your own choices. You SHOULD be on birth control if you are going to have sex (which unless you are married or in a long term, committed stable relationship you really have no business having sex anyway)... though I sure as heck hope you are also using condoms as getting pregnant isn't the worst possible consequence of sex.

She likely made that ultimatum as she has no desire to keep cleaning up your messes and raising any more of your children since you clearly are currently incapable of thinking about anyone other than yourself.

Yes, you need to get and keep a job, but you need therapy just as much. You have a lot of growing up to do. You are 35 years old. You have been an adult for a good 17 years... almost enough years to be 'two' adults... and you still can not function on your own or take responsibility for your own life. Therapy is probably the best place for you to be right now. You can work through your issues stemming from your childhood and, hopefully, get to the point that you start making life about what is right and in your best interest instead of 'sticking it to mommy'...

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Well Shawn her option to me.was birth control or get out. So I am.aware of that I guess but I feel like she won with that honestly..

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Wow so ok do i tell my mom to go take a walk like I want to. She spanked me for everything always controlled everything. Don't worry im on birth control can't get preggo. I guess I can get a job and keep it. A troll? Sorry everyone thanks for the advice.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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And I probably wasted that story on a useless troll, but I don't care. I love that story because I love where he IS vs. where he came from (he's also married to my closest friend of 26 years ♥ ).

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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My ex cousin in law was raised in a neglectful, abusive home. He was once whipped w/ a fishing rod for pooping in his pants at 3 years old. At 10 he was drug running for his 'parents'. He joined a gang as a teenager and was basically completely on his own w/ zero parental guidance (because both of his biological parents were in jail) at 14 years old. He had to drop out of school as a Freshman because he had no address.

NOW.... he has been married to the same woman for almost 20 years (next April), he is a successful and loving father to 3 biological sons (9, 7, and 5) and has recently adopted a teenage girl who came from a home incapable of keeping her. He is a pastor and is very active in ministry and reaching and helping others.

Sure... he could be a loser and blame his upbringing for making crap decisions and being a crap person... but he chose to take accountability for HIS decisions as an adult. He's almost 40 and is one of the most amazing people I know.

Yes... you are 100% to blame for the life you choose as an adult.

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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Or another person trolling. There is that. Which would also make you a moron.

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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You are 35. She shouldn't HAVE to teach you or explain anything. Maybe you aren't immature, maybe you are just a moron.

Sarah - posted on 09/25/2016

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"Another pregnancy will fix her good" And what about the baby? Your statement is about the most selfish thing I ever heard. You are an adult. You've been an adult for a long time. If you were not raised well, then you have to work towards figuring out what you need to fix. If you can't manage your money, then seek help with budgeting. If you cannot parent, then take a parenting class. Get a job, and actually go. If you think your are immature due to how you were parented, then why wouldn't you want to better that for your child? This is a choice. No one is forcing your to be immature; you are choosing to be irresponsible.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2016

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No wonder she insists you be on birth control. You really are not mature enough to be a parent.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2016

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Instead of driving to do BETTER with your life, you are whining and plotting"revenge" by purposely doing something to further get on your mother's nerves. That gives you the maturity of about an 8 year old. Stop bitching at us, stop blaming everyone else.

If you want to be treated like the adult you claim to be, ACT LIKE ONE.

Get a JOB. TAKE CARE of your own kid. MEET your RESPONSIBILITIES!!!!!!!

Quit copping out and acting like a loser.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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It's not a cop out its her fault she made me maybe she was to immature to have kids. So instead of teaching me or explaining. Sorry if I am whinning or being negative idk i just wanna get back at her i live with her so another pregnancy will fix her good..

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/25/2016

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Even my 19 year old makes more mature decisions than you seem to be doing.

Grow up.

Ev - posted on 09/25/2016

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You are acting like a kid then. No older than a teen actually. Your lace of maturity is showing. Having kids to get back at mom? Who is going to raise this one? Sounds like mom is taking care of YOUR RESPONSIBLITIES!

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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If you are 35 and acting like this.....yes, it is YOUR responsibility and YOUR choice. Grow up and stop blaming everyone else for your problems. You are the only one who has control over what you do with your life from here.

If I were your mother I'd be telling you to move out because it is well past time for you to learn to adult. Even my 19 year old is more mature than you.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Ok dove so are you saying that it's my fault then? I just feel like I need to teach her a lesson. She always puts me in my place I have no come back. Your right I have no business having kids she already enforced that one. My friend said the same thing aswell.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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No. Get your butt to therapy immediately. If you would bring another child into this world just to 'get back' at your mother... you have no business having children at all.... Children deserve a better life than to be pawns in your game against your mother. Grow up and take accountability for yourself and your actions. It sounds like your mother was absolutely not the best influence in your life, but what YOU do w/ that is up to YOU... keep screwing up and prove your mother right... or get yourself the help you need. Living a successful, mature life would be the best 'revenge'. Prove her WRONG and get your life together. Quit showing her that she's right to think so low of you.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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As a side note... even though I've been on my own since 31 I was completely unaware of my diagnoses until I was 35. The life I was trying to manage was not working, so it was up to ME to find out why and see what could be done about it. That's your job too. You can not blame your mother. Your life is what YOU make of it. Not what she does.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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I don't like life like.this but maybe im.getting back.at my mom.who raised me the way she did. Never talked or tried.to better me. If you acted up you got beat. What can I do i guess im.the weakest link. She knows this to i should stop my birth control and get pregnant what will she do then lol...

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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Staying out for 2 days wouldn't have given her TOO much of a case in court.

At 35 blaming your upbringing is a cop out. My parents didn't do everything right, but I do know that they did the best they could... They did fail me in many ways, so you know what... as an adult I sought the help I needed for myself. Sure, I still have issues that I don't know what to do with (and some issues that are no one's fault... born w/ a debilitating medical disorder), but I've been on my own w/ 3 kids since the day my ex left me 8.5 years ago and we are doing fine. Yeah, I can't work because of my condition, but 'I' went out and found the resources necessary to provide for my family. I can't do everything for my kids, but 'I' find them someone that can because that is my job. Life isn't just about you when you have a child.

Do you like your life this way? What ARE you going to do when your mother can no longer baby you and raise your child?

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Because I stayou out a day or 2 with friends or a guy. So she told me im unfit. Which she also started with birth control she had the nerve to ask me if I'm using protection.

Ev - posted on 09/25/2016

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If you are 35 years old you need to stop going job to job and stop getting credit cards. You need to be learning to pay your bills and sticking to things.

As for custody of your child? Why does mom have her?

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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I either quit or just don't go i opened credit cards went shopping never paid. I have read online alot is upbringing let's not go there though. Idk my mom basically has full custody over my daughter. She said im not responsible I feel it's her fault..

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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Stop listening to her putting you down. If you keep making the same stupid decisions over and over again... get yourself into therapy to find out why and hopefully learn to make better decisions. Don't spend money you don't have. Do you keep getting fired from jobs or quitting them? YOU are the only one that can take control of your life and change it. What are you going to do w/ yourself when your mom is no longer around to take care of you?

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Dove I still live with my mom i have bad credit in and out of jobs. Friends relationships. My mom makes most of my decisions. She told.me if I have not matured yet I never will.

Dove - posted on 09/25/2016

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Unless you have a diagnosis that has labeled you incompetent and your mother still has legal guardianship over you... you ARE an adult. You might very well be an immature adult, but unless you have a serious, untreated diagnosis (whether you've been actually diagnosed or not)... you can change how you act if you just choose to do so.

Sometimes maturity is critically important... sometimes it's overrated. Depends on the situation.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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And I get that I was just asking for some.opinions that's all. I guess my mom is right lol. I was just confused if im 35 but act like a child does 35 even mean anything at all anymore. My mom told me to Google immaturity traits and it fits me to a T ugh hate being called out!!!!!

Ev - posted on 09/25/2016

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To be honest, none of us really know you and so we can not say if you are mature or not.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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I did go to the point am i considered an adult? I guess I am.not even mature enough to understand your responses sorry to bother everyone.

Ev - posted on 09/25/2016

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1) If you are over 18 years old, your parents are not legally allowed to put you or force you to go on birth control unless for some reason they have been given guardianship over you as a legal matter.

2)You are going round and round with the questions on maturity. A mature person goes straight to the point on questions to get answers.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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Well that's my answer then I guess obviously im not considered a child but usually treated like one. My mom said i act like im 17 because of my decision making. My friends say basically the same. I never act serious with anything. My mom forced me to go on birth control because she feels I can't act responsible. To me mom mom seems like she is the one acting nuts.

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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Still not understanding the point. Being an adult (over 18) doesn't always mean you are mature. It's about your choices and ability to act like an adult. Age is only a number. Are you considered a child? Legally, of course not. But if you want to act like a child, maybe people will treat you like one. Whatever.

Ultimately, this is an incredibly juvenile question. It indicates to me that maybe you aren't particularly mature.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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My question is im 35 my friends and my mom both basically labeled me.very immature. But im.35. So am I considered 35 or a child like they all basically say...

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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Why don't you just come straight out and ask you REAL question? That would demonstrate maturity. This business of asking cryptic questions is not demonstrating that at all.

Jodi - posted on 09/25/2016

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I'm still not really seeing your point. Who labelled you as immature? Adults can be immature too. Being an adult doesn't make you mature automatically. Maturity comes with experience, knowledge and education. I know 40+ year olds who lack maturity.

Jamie - posted on 09/25/2016

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I am asking if a person or let's say myself can be an aduly.if they are labeled immature?

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