In desperate need of marriage advice!

Melanie - posted on 08/10/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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6 months ago I took my husband back after an affair. At the time he also exposed many secrets he kept over the years like strip clubs, bars etc he had been going to. He vowed not to keep anymore secrets from me. I recently found out he stayed out at a bar until 5 am after we agreed he wouldn't go to another bar after the affair. He thinks it's no big deal and sees no problem with going to bars occasionally. I dont feel comfortable with it after the affair. I feel like he has very little respect for me and my feelings. I feel like I shou just leave him, but he's down playing the whole situation like I'm exaggerating. I just feel like he's very selfish and will never change. I'm a stay at home mom to 2 small children which makes it even harder to leave.

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Raye - posted on 08/10/2015

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You are very hurt after the affair, and it's to be expected that you would not trust again easily. He should follow whatever rules you both have agreed to, and if he doesn't, then it's not overreacting to call him out on it. If he wants to go to bars, and you both make a new agreement to allow that, then that's one thing, but for him to go ahead and do it because he feels it's no big deal shows he doesn't understand how much it takes to rebuild trust after an affair. If he doesn't want to understand and rebuild that trust, and wants to go back to doing whatever he wants without regard to your feelings, then you're probably better off without him.

Linda - posted on 08/10/2015

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Just remember sweetie if you not happy you'll kids wont be happy. I been through it. You loose something inside you when you catch them cheating. Always wondering if he is be honest with you and even as far as checking his personal items to see. You will drive your self crazy the most important part of the relationship is trust and you no longer have that with him. When trust is broken its hard to believe any thing they say. this is just my opinion stop stressing out about him move forward save money get out of that bad relationship cuz if he thinks everything's okay and get comfortable he could do it again and hurt you more and your children you want your children to know that you are strong woman and that you can take care of them with or without the father but you do have to make the right choices for yourself my opinion maintainace civil relationship with the father in the best interest of the kids but get out of this untrustworthy relationship

Sarah - posted on 08/10/2015

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If he is willing to go to counseling and you desire to stay with him then give it a try. Otherwise kick him out, he already broke his promise to you. File for spousal and child support and find someone who appreciates you.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/11/2015

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Counseling. A must. He needs to realize that he is in a partnership, not a dictatorship, and he needs to make adjustments.

Lisa - posted on 08/10/2015

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Do you think that counseling might give you an opportunity to voice your feelings and let him know your concerns? If you would like to speak to a licensed counselors please call this number: 1-855-771-4357.

Here is an article that might help you work through your struggles.
http://bit.ly/1Ektt9J.

I am truly sorry for your struggles mama. If you can work through this with your husband, do you think it would be worth it to stay? Pray for you!

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