In-law visits

Leanna - posted on 01/14/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband and I had our beautiful baby girl one month ago. She is the first grandchild on both sides of our family. At first I understand wanting to come and see the baby often like in the first week but my husbands parents want to come and see her at least every other day and make us feel kind of guilty if it doesn't happen or we if we say no. It's getting to be way too much and I am starting to cringe at the thought of seeing them, I don't want to feel that way. I believe in things being fare and my family understand and respects our boundaries just by using common sense and I just don't think his parents get it. My husband and I need to get into a new routine with our new little family and we don't need them coming over every other day. I am completely fine with one day a week which I think is completely acceptable but am I being unreasonable? I mean I'm sure when they had their babies they didn't have their in laws over every other night, I think that is enough to drive anyone insane! When they are here I never even get to touch my baby, they take her and hold her the whole time, even feed her! Which I don't mind but dealing with that every other night is so annoying, I feel like they act like they are entitled and get pissy if I say anything about starting our new family routine now that things start to settle down with visitors. They were very smothering of us before we had our baby and now it's 10 times worse! I just wish they would take a step back and realize/respect that we need our space and time to bond with our new baby. Not to mention we still have other visitors coming occasionally so throwing that in the mix of them coming every other day just makes them coming all the more frustrating. My husband has a hard time saying no to his parents as they have been kind of helicopter parents his whole life (he is 29 years old!). How do I handle this situation with out being the bad guy???? Please help before I rip all my hair out!! Hahaha!

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Krista J - posted on 01/14/2014

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UGH!!! That would drive me crazy, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Do you think you could write a letter to his mom? Would she respond well if you put you feeling into words and explaining you need time to bond? Maybe you could write a letter...

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Leanna - posted on 01/14/2014

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That's a good idea, I am definetly much better at getting my point across in a letter. When I'm on the spot face to face I get frazzled and back peddle especially when you have them staring at you lol. I'm hoping my husband will take the bull by the horns but if he doesn't this will probably be my method. I just hope they genuinely understand And don't hate me over it. Family is important to me and I don't want to upset anyone but we do need our space and it's hard to point that out to someone when they don't think they are over stepping their boundaries. I just wish they would take a step back and realize they are crossing the line themselves lol but that would just be too easy haha.

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