In Laws

Bernice - posted on 06/28/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So my sister in law has always been so judge mental about how I'm raising my daughter. I will say that my 24 month old had always been such a handful since she was born. When she was about 8 months she would tell me to spank her and put in time out. My fiancé and I lived with her and my brother in law at the time. She was trying to conceive and wasn't able to so she had a lot of recent meant towards my daughter and didn't want my daughter to touch anything in her house and would spank her for things that were not a big deal like playing with a magazine that was old, little petty things. She has always said that her children will be disciplined and she will spank them. She make it seem like I'm doing a bad job but she is just a typical toddler. I don't know how to make her understand that being a mom is hard and sometimes toddlers will be toddlers. What can I say to her?

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Bernice - posted on 06/28/2013

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Shawn, we no longer live with them. When we were I was always after my toddler trying to keep her from breaking or touching things she wasn't suppose to. When it came to my daughter getting the old magazine n she got upset that never happened again cuz I gave her toys instead of her magazine. I always was keeping an eye on her because I realized it wasn't my home and that my daughter wasn't suppose to touch everything. Although that was very difficult at times because I would clean the house for my SIL and there was times my daughter would slip away and touch things.

Bernice - posted on 06/28/2013

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I understand that and I don't take her advice. what really bothers me is that she talks bad about my daughter to her husband and makes it seem like she is a very bad girl. She's just a toddler. I can see the way she looks at her and gives her dirty looks. The times she has seen her have a melt down has been when she has been teething and sleep deprived and she still has things to say that her behavior is not acceptable. It's frusterating for me that she has no clue that it's hard and we do put her in time out and have our own ways of discipline. Thank you :)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/28/2013

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First of all, repeat after me "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY DAUGHTER OR I WILL TURN YOU IN FOR ASSAULT"

It doesn't matter if you're living in her house she has absolutely no right to physically assault your daughter.

As far as the rest, if you are still living with them, you need to keep a closer eye on your kid. If you know that SIL gets upset when kiddo plays with an old magazine of hers, then give her a magazine of yours, or find her another age appropriate toy.

Yes, toddlers will be toddlers, but that doesn't mean that you let them get away with anything they damn well want to, you set limits, and boundaries, and consequences for not respecting those limits and boundaries. If Auntie doesn't want LO touching things in her house, you continue to redirect LO until she understands that she's not allowed to do these things at any time when at Auntie's house.

So, in short, she has no right to touch your child in a physically abusive manner, but on the other hand, it is your responsibility to curb your toddler when a guest of others, and it teaches limits, which every child should be taught from an early age.

Sarah - posted on 06/28/2013

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I would just agree to disagree and then not go there. Everyone has their opinions some are helpful and some are not. Some give them freely and some wait for you to ask for advise. It is nice when opinions/advise is given only when asked, but that does not always happen. Even some strangers will give opinions/advise without it being asked for. Sometimes that unwanted advise has some good suggestions to it and I have taken some of that advise in my parenting. Sometimes the unwanted advise is not helpful and that is when you just let it go in one ear and out the other and say thank you to the one giving it.

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