Carrie - posted on 12/15/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )
I'm having an issue with my father-in-law. For the sake of being a brief as possible, over the past couple years he's done some not nice things to my husband and my sister-in-law. He has shirked a lot of his financial responsibilities as well. For example he has six storage units. In some of these units are boxes and boxes of paperwork full of tax records and things identity thieves would use. For a long time over the summer he stopped paying on these storage units to the point where they were almost auctioned off. My mother-in-law had to step in and pay the bills so the personal info was not lost. (point of clarification my mother-in-law and father-in-law are divorced). My husband spent many hours clearing out the storage units of boxes of paperwork and other stuff to make sure if he stopped paying on the units his and his sisters personal info was not lost. Every time my husband asked his dad to help with his storage units he was either busy with church or his girlfriend. He didn't help once. It upset me a lot because when my father-in law moved from Wyoming to Colorado to supposedly be closer to his family and some health issues my husband spent an entire summer going back and forth and even MY dad helped in the move. My husband then spent 8 months in physical therapy for a back and elbow injury sustained while helping him. It was quite expensive medical bills that he never offered to help pay for. He moved down here to be closer to my children and my sister-in-laws children but in the past 18 months he has cancelled no less than at least one scheduled event with the kids per month. Half the time the reason he gives is a church function. He recently converted from a Lutheran to a Mormon for his girlfriend. We recently had a talk with him and laid it out. you're alienating your family. Family is the most important thing and you never spend anytime with the grand kids. We told him we're glad he's found community through his church groups but that family and your financial obligations need to come first. (To clarify he's about $100,000 in debt. Once this past summer he decided not to pay his cell phone bill. We had our account set up as a business account with my husband and I as primaries and him under my account but he received his own bill. I'm not a wealthy person but I pay my bill and I ALWAYS pay them on time. I received a collection notice from Verizon. luckily it had not yet gone to an agency. I paid the bill and cancelled his phone then and there. I couldn't believe he would do that to us when we were in the middle of a refinance on our home and we're a one income family as I am a stay at home mom). Yesterday at my sons birthday party he announces him and his girlfriend are getting married. none of us really know her. We've met her a handful of times but she doesn't come to many events because we won't allow her to bring her dog (my oldest son is allergic). She never carries on a conversation we ask her questions and she give one or two word answers. I was told by my father-in-law at Thanksgiving that I was rude because when they arrived I did not formally greet them. Our family has never been a formal one and they arrived five minutes before dinner was ready. I was in the kitchen making gravy and potatoes. I do remember calling out a "hi how are you" when they arrived but I guess that wasn't good enough. Anyway, today my father-in-law informs us that they will be getting married in the Mormon temple and because we are not Mormons none of his family will be able to attend the wedding. After his promises that he's going to put his family first and take care of his financial obligations he decides to exclude his family from quite a big event. My husband and I are ready to wash our hands of him and his problems and I'm just wondering if there's anything else we can do to try to impress upon him how much he has hurt all of us when he doesn't seem to care.