IN-LAWS...do i forgive?

Jayda - posted on 11/18/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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To forgive or not to forgive that is the question!! Need some advise on what to do, I'm torn down the middle. For the last 10 years I have never had so much as an arguement with the in laws. Well, in January that all changed when my mother in law and my sister in law decided that they would gang up and bash me up one side and down the other. I was beyond shocked because I had done nothing to them and was an emotional wreck for weeks. My being a mother has and always will be the #1 most important thing in my life. I have been an at home mom for 6 years because that is what I want to do. The mother and sister in law bashed me as a MOTHER using rediculous examples like I won't even make them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (while they visited I happened to use the frozen crustables one day) and that my kids get sick all the time because I don't use enough lysol. Now those were the "nice" examples. I won't say the other awful things they decided to tell me via text and over the phone. OK so blah blah I was devistated and then in March my mother in law showed up at my door in tears and caught me off guard and muttered an "I'm sorry". My children where present and out of my love for them and being put on the spot I forgave her. Well now she is pressuring me to make up with her daughter saying that she will apologise to me. The thing is every time I run through my head the awful things she said about me I can't picture forgiving her....but i don't want to be the "petty immature" one. How do I get over this and move on or do I have the right to not forgive??? HELP

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/18/2013

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You have the 'right' to do whatever you want.

An adult would wait for an apology, and if not forgive, agree to disagree.

If no apology ensues, then no forgiveness is earned. One must ask in order to receive forgiveness. If one doesn't ask, one doesn't receive.

Laur - posted on 11/18/2013

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Trust me~you will never get over it! My MIL has said some horrible things in the past and continues to say them but she goes behind my back and does it! You can forgive but you will never forget because I have tried for years (22 years) and the past comes back to haunt me and I end up hating her all over again! She's nice to my face and when my husband is around but the minute I walk out the door~stabbed right in the back. When she started doing this in front of the kids that is when I drew the line....now the kids or I want nothing to do with her. It is hard on my husband but I have to do what is right for me and the kids don't need her negative comments she makes to them either.

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Jayda - posted on 11/18/2013

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Sorry Laur Verk....Im new at this. I did another post instead of writing to reply to you....so the other post was for you :)

Jayda - posted on 11/18/2013

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Sorry you went through the same thing. It drives me crazy, even keeps me up some nights wondering how "family" can turn on you so easily. It was the same with me. They(mother and sister in law, and her new baby) visited us the start of January and were as nice as could be to my face. I went out of my way to be super nice and welcoming...she even used my car the whole time she was here. Then they flew back to VT, waited 2 weeks then called my husband to bash me. My husband was home and put it on speaker phone. I cried instently and my husband said " I hope you know I have you on speaker and Jayda is standing here" and she said "good I'm glad she can hear!!!" I know you are right about not forgeting though because even though I have been speaking to the MIL since March when I think about what was said I get soooo mad all over again. I think since she was so honest about her opinion that I will return the favor and tell her I'm not ready to forgive her daughter and that she is lucky that I forgave her for my childrens sake!

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