In need of some help so that I know im not alone

User - posted on 08/12/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have three boys ages 9,4 and 14 months. My oldest son is very disrespectful. He never listens and is always arguing with me. He is a good kid but at home he is mean. Its getting worse and I am afraid he is rubbing off on the other two. He is ADHD and I know that doesnt help the situation. He does good in school but he is not good at reading. He hates reading. I dont know what to do about his attitude or how to help him improve his reading. He will be in the fourth grade and I dont want him to struggle again like he did last year.


[deleted account]

Reading is paramount and it is vital he changes his mindset. Its all about his attitude and perceptions of reading tasks. Encourage him to read materials he's interested in. Maybe a sports magazine or something similar? Have him write the weekly grocery list or write up the weekly events calendar. When he is reading be attentive. When he gets stuck prompt him with a variety of strategies "sound it out" "read on and re read" "picture cue/whats going on in the picture". If he is absolutely stuck provide the answer and then ask him to break the word down to find the sounds and blends in it. ask him 'what other words have those sounds', provide a couple of examples if you have to.

Use positive reinforcers such as stickers or verbal praise. maybe set a goal of reading 2 pages and then reward him, increase the reading amount over time. When he says things like 'i cant do that/i cant read/understand that' point out the positives "you did very well yesterday, lets try the first word and see how we go" once he's done that "there, now lets keep going, what's the next word". Set him up for success by providing material that is at his reading level. Give him a variety of text, books/cards/reading labels on food containers etc. His attitude and perceptions on reading will improve in time with success and encouragement. stick with it!

As for his attitude he needs some firm behaviour management strategies in place. Set yourself some family rules that stipulate the expectations. Have him add to your initial expectations so that he feels involved in the process and understands what is expected of him. When he breaks a rule, describe it clearly. the rule - "one person speaking at a time" ... when he is argumentative or interrupting you refer back to the rule "in this house we have one person speaking at a time" ... if he continues to do so give him a choice "you can either keep speaking over the top of me/arguing with me and earn yourself a punishment OR you can lower your voice, listen to me and we can sort this out". If he persists, introduce the punishment "Stop arguing with me or you (punishment here), OR stop arguing and listen to me and we will sort this out'. Praise his good behaviour when he is showing it, even if its just smiling at him or patting him on the head. "you've been very well behaved today, thats good to see".

There are lots of strategies you can use, but most importantly remember "set your expectations, encourage good behaviour, use corrective language to modify/change undesirable behaviour and always, ALWAYS follow through!"

Hope this helps!

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