In need of some serious relationship advice

Cristina - posted on 07/17/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi everyone, this is my first time doing this so hopefully I am doing this right. Anyways I am going back and forth on what to do with my current relationship with my husband I will actually just kind of describe my own problems and then the issues I am having with my spouse.

Me: I am 30 years old and a SAHM to my five year old and almost 2 year old. I love my boys to death but am battling depression, anxiety and self esteem issues. I just recently moved away from my family so my husband could be near his, I have no friends here nor family. For this I take a daily pill which helps my mood but that's about it. If I could I would sleep all day and stay up all night, I feel so withdrawn from everyone and everything. Husband does not want me to go off the medication because he likes that I am in a better mood all the time now. I feel like a horrible mother as I can barely find any motivation to get the kids out and about. I am angry with myself for not accomplishing goals that I set for myself.

Husband: Transferred from his job to our current location, was fired after 9 months. He used to be addicted to prescription pills and went behind my back a number of times about it. He would try to find ways to take money out of the account without me knowing, but I am not stupid, yet I give him second chances over and over again. He stopped using the opiates but is now addicted to a legal herb called kratom. Occasional use would not bother me but every other day he is purchasing 100 dollars worth to satisfy his craving. Again, he is no longer employed, not even really looking for a job, and I guess is just going to depend on his parents to pay our rent, etc. Second he is addicted to computer games, he will play this game every chance he gets, our relationship has pretty much withered away to nothing. He loves his kids, and is good with them when he is not playing games, he says he loves me but I just don't know anymore.

So now what do I do, no matter how mad I get I cannot picture my life without him, I also don't want to be a broken home. I am at a loss of what to do, I hate not having any adult conversations and being holed up in my little overpriced apartment all day long. Should I move back with my kids to where my family is or stay here for the sake of my children. Sorry this is so long, if anyone has any advice or has gone through a similar situation I would love to hear from you. I really needed that vent! :)

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Kcowley1982 - posted on 07/17/2013

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I used to be in the same situation as you except I had a job.. But one day an older co worker of mine told me a very heart touching story about her relationship with her ex husband and why she was happy she did what she did...and it goes like this....

One day herself and her son were riding around running errands in the car and she said her son was about 8 years old and looks over and says "Mom why are you not happy?" Do I make you sad?" and she said 'no son you are the best thing that ever happened to me" and she said that he then continued to inquire why she was sad and said 'she dont smile no more'... and she explained to him that she was with his father to keep him happy and he said mom I want you to be happy too...
And she said thats the very moment when she realized if she wasnt happy neither was her child and she decided to move back home get a good job and raise her child and she said to me
you need to remember we may not think our children dont know when we are sad but they do and all they want is us to be happy with them..

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