In over my head

Jill - posted on 12/04/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am in a relationship with a man who has a 1 year old. He and the bio mom only dated for a total of 2 months. They split up during pregnancy. I really don't even know what to say. She is 20 and I am 25. She is constantly trying to start trouble and claims that my fiance is telling her that we will not be together much longer. She wants him to come to her house for visitation 5 nights a week from 6 to 9 or 10. I tried to be the adult and be friendly with her, even tried to see it from her point of view because I myself am a single mom of a child I had when I was her age. It all went smoothly until she saw i wasn't going anywhere. I am not allowed to be around his daughter in any way. Not even if she is present. She asked to meet me and then disappeared for a month and we ended up taking her to court so that my fiance could have visitation again. She wants me gone and is doing everything in her power to make it happen. How can I diffuse this situation. I don't hate her, I understand what she is feeling because I went through it.

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Jill - posted on 12/04/2013

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I have been through the court process to establish rights for the father of my child. I know how it goes and he does not. I have tried to be as helpful as possible. She works at a credit union and has even been scrolling through his account information. When it is all said and done with, I still want us all to at least have a cordial relationship. You could not be more right. He needs his time as a father to bond with his child and has not been given that right. You are making me very happy that I decided to join circle of moms!

Jodi - posted on 12/04/2013

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Unless the court order specifically says you can't be around the child, she can't dictate that either. It is unlikely the court order will say that unless she has evidence of harm to the child in any way. Also, she will have to provide evidence for supervised visitation. Do you have a lawyer?

Jodi - posted on 12/04/2013

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She doesn't have the right to dictate to him how visitation works and who can be around her child unless there is a danger. What do the court orders say?

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Jodi - posted on 12/04/2013

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Then it is unlikely she will get what she wants. Your partner has a right to a relationship with his child without her being in his face constantly.

Jill - posted on 12/04/2013

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we go back to court the 19th of this month so that the visitation schedule can be set. It really has been a nightmare. we are going for standard visitation but she wants supervised until the age of 4. She won't settle for anything less that's why we have to go back before the judge.

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