TSmitty2013 - posted on 11/24/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )
I'm in need of some advice, make that desperate need. The situation between my sons stepmother & I is not good. It's to the point where I feel myself slowly being phased out of my sons life and when he isn't home in my arms it tears me apart.Let me back up a bit & give you some insight. My son is three and his father have been split since he was 2 weeks old. In the past three years his father has had several different women in his life, he is now married with a baby on the way. I too am remarried as of this past July . The woman that my ex married at first seemed like a great candidate and I was so happy he had found someone who had their life so together! We had conversations before they were married about the role she would play in my sons life and I felt like we were both on the same page. She even asked me to let her know if she ever does something that makes me feel uncomfortable or makes me feel as if "she's stepping on my toes". I agreed too and appreciated it very much. As time went on she began to refer to herself as my sons Mother and referred to his as her child / her son / her boy. She will post pictures of my child on social media and hashtag them "mommy son time" "true love" or "love my son". I approached her in what I felt was in a mature polite way but it all blew up in my face. Not only did she tell me she was his mother but that she made a much better one than I ever would. Since this has happened we have never been able to get along. In fact I feel as if it's only getting worse. She will bad mouth my parenting on social media, and post snarky remarks about myself. My son has come home saying "momma says your a bad mom, buy me better cloths" . I feel as though I am being bad mouthed behind my back and to my child! And that's not right. She signs all of his preschool papers before I can see them, takes him to school when he has had fevers (which is against policy). I've tried talking to her multiple times about everything and it seriously goes no where. She has been in the picture for a little over a year now, but she acts as if she gave birth to my child. If you friended her on social media you would truly think that she's the mother of my son. It truly hurts me to the core. My sons dad has zero back bone and refuses to even address the situation. He plainly states that's his wife and he will not do or say anything to upset her. As hard as it would be to make peace in this situation it's all I want to do. It's what's right for my son. I want her to respect the boundaries , respect that no matter what I will always be his mother. In her world I do not exist and she birthed my child. At times I feel like she obsessed with my child and it's disturbing! I have never had an issue with my son having a step mother, you can never have too many people to love your children, until this situation came about. What can I do to make her understand she is crossing the line? How can I make this situation better for all involved and help create a healthier environment for my boy?