In serious need of POTTY TRAINING HELP!!

Brittany - posted on 01/07/2009 ( 34 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost 21 months old and won't be two untill April... She is ready for potty training, and I have to clue what to do!! She won't stay away from the bathroom, and is always saying potty, potty... She has been taking her close off including diaper, and wanting to sit on the toilet... SO I LET HER... and even bought one for toddlers..... The problem is, she NEVER, and I mean NEVER, actually goes to the bathroom!! This is all new to me since my eldest didnt show any signs of interest untill he was almost 3... So all I had to do was explain and ask my brother to help and it was all said and done within 3 days (except nights of course) PLEASE HELP!!!

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Tina - posted on 01/10/2009

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Most of the kids in the world are potty trained by 12-18 months. Yes that is right 12-18 months. We are just lazy with disposable dipers in the USA. My doctor recommends starting at 18 months because when they hit 2 years the control issue sets in. The earlier you start the better. The naked way works best! Good luck!

Christine - posted on 01/10/2009

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Its all about control. My daughter will pee most of the time but won't poop on the potty. She will eventually. just be patient. Does she go to daycare or preschool?

[deleted account]

My eldest was trained at 21 months. The easiest way we found was buying her big girl panties and letting her wear them all the time. We had a potty chair in the living room also as sometimes the bathroom was just too far. With all 4 of mine this is what we did. Then lots of cheers when they did make it to the potty on time. Encourage it now while she wants to do it or you may find in 6 months she doesn't want to anymore.

[deleted account]

We actually took her to pick out her very own special stickers for the potty seat. We told her that she could put a sticker ON the potty to decorate it WHEN she actually went potty. She loved it! We had her potty trained in 2 days....she was so much easier than the boys. The trick is not letting them use the stickers for anything else but for the potty seat reward....best of luck to you. You just have to find the trick that works for you. If she's changes her mind..no biggie....it's still early. Don't stress.  I might add, that we took her to Babys R us...picked out 3 or 4 seats we wouldn't mind her having and let her pick out her special seat. But that's what worked for mine. Yours may be easier, she sounds motivated!

Amy - posted on 01/10/2009

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Hi, I am a mother of two, daughter now 12 and son 9. When my daughter was 18 months old, she showed an interest in using the toilet. So, every time I went, I would take her in with me, sit her on a little potty, and she could hear the sounds that it would make when I would go. At first she would just sit there and nothing would happen, but one day I made her laugh and she started to pee. One she realized that she controlled that muscle, she got it. It took us about two days of her going in with me when I went. Also, take her about 20 to 30 minutes after she has a nice big glass of something to drink. I hope some of this helps. Amyd

Liz - posted on 01/10/2009

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well i had the same trouble with my daughter i just let her sit there for a few minutes even though it took wks it worked try encourging with a toy, try running water that helps heaps. forget about accidents they always happen to begin with let her be free she'll go just keep door open toilet seat on and take her every hr.

Heather - posted on 01/09/2009

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I would just continue to let her sit on the potty...I also recommend setting a timer for like every hour or so and having her sit.  She will finally get it and it shouldn't take to long.

Connie - posted on 01/09/2009

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When I potty trained both my kids, I made them each a potty chart. I bought a poster board, star stickers, and hung it up in the bathroom where they could reach it. Each time they went on the potty they got to pick which ever star sticker they wanted and put it on the board. They both loved this and it helped them both to potty train easier because they liked putting that sticker on the poster board and showed everybody that came over. Good luck.

User - posted on 01/09/2009

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Just keep let her doing what she is doing. She is still pretty young to get the concept the "let it go" when she is on the toliet, her bladder still needs to mature. I would say by the time she does turn 2 or shorlty after, her body will be ready, because her mind she is!

Shana - posted on 01/09/2009

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I think is way easier to potty-train them before they are 2. I just started putting gerber underwear on my son when he was 20 months old and putting him on the potty and giving him lots of praise when he went. I think because he was younger it wasn't a power struggle. Now he is 22 months and he still has accidents sometimes but he is out of diapers except for night/nap.

Janina - posted on 01/09/2009

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When my daughter was 18 months we bought her a potty and just said nothing and left it in the livingroom. A week before she turned 2 a friend of mine was over with her daughter who is 8 months older. She was training and every hour took her to pee. I brought my daughter in to watch and we made a HUGE deal every time she went. Needless to say my daughter wanted to go. We had a few days of no bottome and a couple of pee accidents on the floor. Big deal it cleans up. Just stay positive and NEVER be negative. She will be on the 12th and she has been great. We still use pullups at night but never ever used them during the day. They are bulky like a diaper and it confuses them. We went straight from bare bottoms to underpants. When we had to go out she would pee before we got into the car and I would put a pull up over her underpants. When we would get where we were going we would pee again and take off the pullup. After a few trips out and her keeping the pull up dry we just skipped it. Just be consistent and take them to the potty every hour. If you can go to Bath and Body Works and let her smell the kids hand foam soap. Let her pick one out she likes and use it whenever she goes potty. We also used a lot of stickers and little rewards. She would get a toy from the change machine at the grocery store etc. Also, keep a potty seat in the car with wet wipes. You never know where you will be and need a potty and there not be one. If she refuses or cries bag the whole thing because she isn't ready. Don't push and it will happen when she is ready. Good luck and stay positive!

User - posted on 01/09/2009

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I'm having the same with my soon to be 2 year old. Just keep doing what you are doing by letting her get use to the potty/toilet when she finally makes a disposit she will be really happy and will know when she needs to go. I have found my son asking for the toilet and when I have taken his nappy or Diaper off he is in mid flow so he is aware that he is going but just not realising before he needs to go. I would not stress over this it will happen when it happens and just keep praising her every time she comes off the toilet/potty.

Melissa - posted on 01/08/2009

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all children are different. escpecially girls n boys. my son was very difficult. he showed sings at 18months so we started but wasnt fully potty trained till 3yrs old. we tried everything from a toddler potty to the attachment for the big potty. bribed him w/ candy stickers movies toys food treats and a poo poo party. spent many many hrs in the bathroom. positive phrases helped too. he had major diaper rash problems which was a result of an allergy to oranges that postponed things. once we got past that encouraging him to be a big boy and giving him rewards once he went was the most helpful thing. after the first time he went #2 in the potty we had a poo poo party n bought a cake n made a huge deal. now he runs to the bathroom n goes everytime. good luck. hope it helps

Shana - posted on 01/08/2009

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Ive trained 3 with one more to go. My son was almost 5 before he was completely trained, His 1 year younger sister was trained by 20 mons. She did it pretty much on her own. I had purchased the potty for my son but she fought me to use it. So I just let her, in about 3 weeks she was trained in the day and about a month later for night. I don't remember doing anything special just the regular, help her with her clothes, turn the tap on the odd time, celebrate when she managed to go. The third child was a little more difficult but not as hard as her brother. She was able to watch her older siblings and was quite interested early. She then developed a fear of toilets flushing (she still has to leave a public washroom before I can flush and she is 3.5 years old) and we put the potty away and didnt talk about it until she mentioned it again. Then we placed the potty in the living room for easy access and after about a month or so of effort on everyones part, she was trained in the day and about 2 weeks later at night. All my children were very different in training, but three things that worked for all was lots of encouragement no matter what the out come was, easy access to potty and training pants(the good old thick waffle material kind) because they need to feel the "accident" to know they went in their pants. Most kids dont like the feeling and quickly do something about it.

Beth - posted on 01/08/2009

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oh and my girl would never use the little potty we got her. My son wouldnt either. we just sit them on ours and they seemed to like it better. They arent scared of it either

Beth - posted on 01/08/2009

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my daughter was the same way. She would even tell you when she went. she was around the same age as yours. I just went with it. Tried to help her when she said she needed to. She liked the idea of the pull ups over diapers because it made her feel big. I then just took them off and put big girl underwear on her as i called it and she is now 30months or 2 1/2 and going all the time. Just lots of praise and patience. Try the underpants and keep raving about how she is a big girl.

Stephanie - posted on 01/08/2009

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i also have a 2 year old who i potty training early he had should iterest since he was 1 and half it takes time they get afraid at first and thier freezes ike i say but with time everything wi be fine she sounds very independent so dont worry

Jessica - posted on 01/08/2009

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This was my experience--when my daughter was 18 months we bought her a potty.  She wanted nothing to do with it until she was almost 3, last summer.  She showed interest for a little while and would happily sit on the potty and even go now and then. (We gave her an M&M if she went.)  She didn't seem to know when she needed to go, it was more about the novelty of using something new and occasionally getting an M&M.  Then she completely lost interest again.  I was so frustrated but decided to give up on it for the time being, since she is not a child who can be persuaded to try something (believe me, we tried!)  Then just before Christmas, she started showing interest again.  The difference this time was that she could tell me when she needed to go and literally has only gone once in a pull-up since then.  I think you need to assess whether your daughter is more into the novelty of it or if she really seems to want to try to use it.  Does she get upset when she goes in her diaper?  If not, I would say to entertain her interest in the potty is fine but not take it too seriously.  If she really wants to, it might take some patience and sitting home with her bottoms off as much as possible.  Good luck!

Tanya - posted on 01/08/2009

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Hi Brittany, When I was on bedrest with my 2nd child my 21mo old started to do the same thing. I just let her run with it and did not make a big deal about it. Within a month she started to go and I was so happy for her independence. Hope this helps a little.

Marion - posted on 01/08/2009

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i found that with my daughter she was doing the same so i brought a kids book cally molly wants her potty and that really helped.

[deleted account]

Dont push it Brittany it all comes in time my daughter was an absolute cow and we tried everything under the sun at one stage my hubby and I though she was going to be in nappies at the age of 18. One day it just clicked patience is a virtue

Jean - posted on 01/08/2009

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I think she see everyone else use the toilet why can't she. I have 3 boys and all have been different.

Julie - posted on 01/08/2009

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My boys "trained" just like your boy.  I didn't have to "do" anything.  Do you have her in pullups?  Is she bothered by the wetness?  She is young so I wonder if she is really ready or just excited because she knows what the bathroom is for now?

[deleted account]

When my oldest starting potty training I found something that he absolutely loved (his was gum). I told him when he wanted to be a big boy and went on the potty he could have some. We actually hung a package on the wall in the bathroom where he could see it. We did not give him any and just kept saying.....When you decided to be a big boy and go on the potty you can have a piece.....Took 5 days.....potty training done...

Danielle - posted on 01/07/2009

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My sister gave her daughter a small toy for every achieved potty time. She has a 8 year old who was a big help with this. They were simple dollar store things but when she saw big brother getting to pick a "treasure" she wanted in. Her son of course would rewrap his and put it back when she wasn't around to help with cost but it worked like a charm. My daughter did well with a sticker chart she loves stickers. Under no circumstance was she allowed to have a sticker any other time. My other daughter liked to potty her favorite stuffed animal at the same time as herself. And reading a potty book while she sat was helpful in getting her to sit long enough to be successful.

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2009

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My daughter is almost 13 months and I'm not even at the point of thinking about potty training, but I'm inspired by your story with your 17 month old daughter. I think when the time is right I would like to try your approach, you're right it is a worthwhile investment.

Hilaree - posted on 01/07/2009

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My daughter was very interested in going potty too..and She never went..then she got to a point where when she did actually go she was afraid..she was only 17months @ the time..i had to reasure her it was ok EVERYTIME!!

but she just wouldnt go...i am a stay at home mom so i took the chance(i know im crazy) but what i did was i went and bought her BIG GIRL PANTIES. @ the time she was really into elmo,so thats what i bought..i put them on her..all day..she had 4 accidents..but it was due to that we couldnt make it to the bathroom in time..

so what i did was i moved the potty chair into the livingroom(out of the way) my husband had a fit!! BUT IT TOTALLY WORKED! I had her sit down and try to potty every 20 mins until she finally went and of course you make it a big deal like you won million bucks...they love it..after 4 days of potty chair in living room i moved it slowly day by day to the bathroom..by 18 months old she was completely potty trained (by day) i put her in pull ups at nite. by 21 months she was dry through the the nite as well..it seemed like alot at the time but it was worth it..

Ellen - posted on 01/07/2009

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Let her take her time. Do not push or rush, she will only use it as a way of control. I don't agree with the going without the diaper thing. If she starts using the potty then you could let her. Also, she may be ready for the potty but 21 months is about the right time or even a little early.

Christine - posted on 01/07/2009

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The naked suggestion works you just have to be sure to be constistant once you do do it.I went on vacation and it never worked the same after that.Another thing is to never be negative about training when they go in their diaper or have accidents or it will have a very negative effect on the process.Ir she asks to wear her diaper let her and if she insists on big girl underwear even when she is obviously not ready let her try them,it shows her you have confidence in her:)

Ameika - posted on 01/07/2009

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Like your son, my daughter was trained in one weekend by my husband.  However, my neice (who I watch during the day) has been challenging.  She is getting better, but she too would not go in the toliet.  I had to make her sit there for at least 15 min. at least six times a day, usually first thing in the morning and after meals.  Now, she will go on her own if I tell her to go.  She started her potting training at 2 and will be 3 in June.  Each child is different, but being consistent might be the key. 

Katherine - posted on 01/07/2009

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Give her something to drink and about 15-20 minutes afterwards, sit her on the potty.  She should have to go around then and then she'll feel what its like to actually go in the potty.

User - posted on 01/07/2009

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Just let her run around without a diaper on (it is a bit messy for a day or so but its worth it.) Then when you get her to actually go in the potty give her some sort of treat like a marshmellow or a sticker. That is what worked for mine.

Nicole - posted on 01/07/2009

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try running the water..so when u put her on the potty run the water the sound may make it so she thinks she should go...worked for all 7 of mine that are potty trained.....

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