Inappropriate messages to teen son (13) from barely teen girl 12)

Marike - posted on 04/06/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

4

0

1

I have raised my 13 year old fairly strict. He has a phone which I have never checked merely because I do trust him. We do have the policy that I can at any time take his phone and check. I have done so and am HORRIFIED with the messages of one girl in particular - dramatizing, belittling my son, sending him sexual related messages. I have blocked her from the Whatsapp and will chat to my son (currently on a school tour) once he is back. How dare she? I am speechless. How do I approach this? Safe-guard him from this?

This conversation has been closed to further comments

5 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/06/2016

13,264

21

2015

I do have to point out that you haven't shown any thing that would really "disturb" me. Most of what you related is entirely within the normal scope of curiousity and normal development at that age.

You need to remember that your kid is growing up. You can't keep him bubble wrapped, and you can't "shelter" him simply because you'd rather he doesn't face puberty yet.

Definitely consult with your counselor so that you don't blow it out of proportion.

As to why he didn't share this with you...again, normal young teen interaction.

Marike - posted on 04/06/2016

4

0

1

Agreed - many thanks!.= Yes, we have everything from a-z covered. I had his sister, an oopsy-daisies, three years ago and that made for good talking and discussing literally everything. Correct - the precious tools. I have made an appointment with our trusted Life Coach for some guidance and will share whatever I get! Many thanks for your response!!

Michelle - posted on 04/06/2016

4,566

8

3247

Girls do mature faster than boys anyway.
Have you spoken to him about sex and everything else that goes with it?
I know you have said you've brought him up strict but he is in the world around us at school and even now on a school tour. You can't keep him little forever. You need to give him the tools to deal with inappropriate things from others, especially his peers at school.

Marike - posted on 04/06/2016

4

0

1

Hi Michelle! Thanks so much! They met at a mutual friend's foam party 2 years ago, the two of them not playing in the foam but playing outside in a pond on the property catching tadpoles! Very innocent. I think she has developed much quicker than he. She seems to be upset that he has other girl-friends he is talking to as per her one message 'she wants him all to herself'. He responded saying sorry for having other friends!! Really???? How things have changed since I was a kid. Then she went to a friend of hers and the two of them sent him loads of 'want to kiss your face' and worse messages admitting that she went onto the internet to get them. He sent the blushing face and that was it. Then she is telling him how her boyfriend kissed her and 'how romantic' is was and if my son has ever kissed a girl. He replied 'no'. What is next?
Many thanks - I will most definitely sit calmly and chat - especially because of his innocent responses and we also have a good relationship (I am a single mom). But then ask why he did not tell me? Many thanks Michelle!

Michelle - posted on 04/06/2016

4,566

8

3247

What have his responses been to her?
Maybe have a talk to him but don't yell or anything. Talk to him calmly and ask him where he knows her from, how they met and why she sends the type of messages she does. Ask him how he feels about them before putting her down and creating distance between yourself and your son.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms