Judy - posted on 01/10/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )
My problem started when our then 16 year old son was pursued by an 18 year old girl, when they attended the same school. She was from a large city and moved to our town to live with her mother and 2 year old half-sister. She had a totally different upbringing than our son did and I had a bad feeling about her, knowing she would not be a good influence on him. Her mother does not take a lot of interest in what she does, so she comes and goes as she pleases. They met in his automotive class, a class she took because she knew it would be full of boys and she was determined to find a boyfriend. She latched onto my son telling him all of her problems. She has written him notes saying she can't wait to spend the rest of her life with him and she can't imagine her life without him in it. I can see she is terrified of losing him, although my son would never leave her. This is his first girlfriend and he loves the attention. When my son is not in school and she is not working, they are together constantly. There are hundreds of daily text messages and hours of talking on cell phones, when they are not in each other's company. Phone calls are always in private and my son does not disclose any information when I ask questions. Lately, I find that our son is following her behavior. He doesn't check with us, his parents, first to see if we are in agreement, before the two of them make plans to go away together or do other things. Our son drives and has his own car. My husband does not support me on my feelings and thinks it is cute that she is so attached to our son. My husband also doesn't mind that our son is sexually active with her. I feel our son is abandoning all morals we have taught him. Needless to say, this girl has taken over our son's life completely.
At this point, they have know each other for 16 months. Now he is 17 and she is 19 and I can see that they are headed for marriage. I don't know how soon, but it will happen. They are madly in love with each other. Am I wrong, seeing this as an obsessive relationship and not normal behavior.