Inlaws!!

Kim - posted on 01/25/2011 ( 23 moms have responded )

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My question is, if my sister-in-law is staying with me and my husband in our home, should my mother-in-law be able to ask her to babysit, or just drop kids off to her with out asking us, being as though it's our home should we be asked as well? Or i'm I just making a big deal for nothing?

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Sherri - posted on 01/25/2011

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Well it depends is this her home as well?? Meaning does she live there and will this be a long term situation? If yes then she should be able to babysit or a have a few friends over etc. without consulting you. However, if she is only a guest then no she should have to ask you first.

Amanda - posted on 01/26/2011

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Rent in the eyes of the law doesnt mean she isnt a resident there. Does she get mail at your home? Has she been there over a month? Then its just as much her home as yours (in the eyes of most laws). If shes doing the babysitting I dont see an issue, unless she isnt watching the children and you really are. This is something you need to speak to her about.

Sherri - posted on 01/26/2011

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No not really your MIL's job to ask you but it certainly is your sister in laws job to ask.

Louise - posted on 01/25/2011

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May be a bit of give and take. If it is for a long period of time then you should be consulted because it is your space. If your sister in law is not stopping long I probably would not say anything, but if this is for a longer period of time then yes I would say something just so every body knows where they stand.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2011

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I agree with Sherri, if she's living there, paying rent or other expenses then she has every right to have friends over or babysit. If she is just a guest staying for a little while then she should ask you. But if she is "living" there then you need to all talk together and set some boundries so that everyone is on the same page. Good luck.

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Stifler's - posted on 01/27/2011

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I think she should at least ask if she's not paying any rent and if she's overstayed her welcome you need to tell her so too :)

Teresa - posted on 01/27/2011

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well technically u married into this family.so they r now ur family.and if ur sis nlaw is cleaning up any mess and u dont have to change any of ur plans.it shouldnt b a big deal.enjoy the kids while they're young.take advantage .a simple dollar goes a long way with a child n any household duties.lol

Amber - posted on 01/26/2011

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It doesn't matter if the law says she is a resident. If you pay all of her bills, then resident or not, she needs to ask permission to do things in your home. It may be her residence but it is YOUR house and you don't have to continue to let her be a resident.

It is more about respect than anything else. If she doesn't have respect for your things and cannot watch the children, then she should not watch them.



And even if she is legally responsible for the children, your home owners insurance will be required to pay for any injuries that occur in your house.

Kim - posted on 01/26/2011

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LOL yes so tru....but to be honest Amanda that's not really the problem her watching the kids, the Question is shouldn't me and my husband been asked first??? We really wouldn't mind but would need to do preperations before hand, plus the fact that we let her stay there with her own children out the kindness of our hearts, then she had the nerve to take on extra children...wow...lol

Amanda - posted on 01/26/2011

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Eww I hate sticky finger prints on my tv! LOL I think you should set her down, and set some house rules for the children, if she can not make sure the children are not following them, then say no more babysitting.

Kim - posted on 01/26/2011

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I'm not making it a big deal, but I must take it in to consideration that had we been aware we could have made our house more child proof...meaning putting away things that we don't want to be touched, or broken. The kids had full run of our house and was not watched properly. Food was eating through out our house, they where also in our room, sticky finger prints on our big screen, trust me...it was rude to not ask and they knew it that's why we wasn't asked cause they NO they where wrong, we get phone calls for everything else that's not even of as important as that!!! Thank you so much for your views on the situation:)

Amanda - posted on 01/26/2011

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If something happens to a child in your home while you arent there, and you werent asked to be responsible for the childs well being, you arent responsible. I still dont see the issue, unless your sister inlaw isnt an adult and cant be held responsible for herself, and the children shes watching.

Kim - posted on 01/26/2011

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No she doesn't get mail there and yes she has been there over a month:( and that wasn't the agreement, however she still reside in our home and I truly feel we should be consulted regardless. What if something was to happen to one of the kids in our home???? We both was at work and had know idea that the children was there!!!:(

Kim - posted on 01/26/2011

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Thank you Sherri, I think that out of the two at least one should have some common sense and respect!!! It's a sad situation and I just want our home back to normal but it's my husbands family and I hate looking like the bad guy!!:(

Kim - posted on 01/26/2011

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Nope she is only a guest...she don't give us anything nor contribute towards the bills. My husband and I just ask that she save her money and hurry up and move out!!! Do you think my mother-in-law should ask as well?? Mind you she won't even allow her daughter to stay with her:(

Amber - posted on 01/25/2011

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I think it depends not only on whether or not she pays, but on how much she pays. If she's paying a very minimal amount and you're just letting her stay until she finds a different place, then she should ask first. If she's paying a proportional amount of the bills and staying long term, then she should be able to babysit with out you giving permission.

Firebird - posted on 01/25/2011

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If she's paying rent, then technically no, she shouldn't have to ask you first, provided that she properly cleans up after any kid she's babysitting. If she's not paying rent or giving you any money to compensate for her staying there, then yes, she should be consulting you and/or your husband before having anyone at all come into your house.

Alison - posted on 01/25/2011

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We have similar problems when we visit my parents during our holidays and my sister drops her boys off to be babysat. I really don't mind helping out and having them around, but it has a direct impact on our plans and I had to explain to my mom that I would appreciate being advised even if I am not the decision-maker. You should come to an agreement on what is reasonable for all of you.

Lani - posted on 01/25/2011

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You should be consulted as well! It is your home. Your sister in law is staying with you in essence your guest, it is rude of her and your MIL to take advantage of you like this!

I would talk to your SIL and let her know that while you don't mind her being there, your home your haven, and you should be consulted on such things.

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