Is anyone else co-parenting with a parent after domestic violence?

Jeanette - posted on 01/28/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )




My child and I were both on a restraining order againest father (I won't go into details, too personal) but I chose to take her off so that she could establish a real relationship with her Father (looking back I would have done a few things different but I always had what was best for my child in mind)
Father and I have a very hostile co-parenting relationship, along with him comes his overbearing parents who meddle in issues that concern our child.
I've suggest co-parenting classes but he refuses. It always reverts back to something in a negative reference to me. I think he holds a grudge againest me for the domestic violence because he brings it to my attention here and there.
I don't waste my energy reminding him anymore that he made horrible decisions and there are consequences to that.
It isn't my burden or problem that when a cop witnesses DV they press charges againest the other party (what happened in my situation)
Anyway, I know the situation won't change anytime soon as it's been two years.
So my question is anybody in a similar situation and what is the best way to cope and handle the anxiety?


Michelle Lynn - posted on 02/09/2013




Yes, I'm currently in a similar situation. I left my abusive husband in Dec 2011 after 17 years of marriage. I obtained a 2 year permanent protective order due to his violence against me involving weapons. During our custody hearing the judge ordered us to attend co-parenting classes separate of each due to the PO. Unfortunately the 8 week class didnt help our situation at all. I came to realize very quickly that we had to parallel-parent because of the high conflict situation. My husband was mad initially that he lost me as a possession, then angry that our white picket fence was fragmented and the truth was exposed, but most of all he's enraged that his concealed weapons permit was revoked along with having to remove his guns. The best advice I can give you to cope and deal with stress is to stay vigilant, surround yourself with safe people, utilize the resources of the DV division, support groups, self defense classes and a therapist that specializes in DV. It's a long road, but its in the right direction!! Stay strong, be safe and proud to be vindicating yourself. Take Care, Michelle


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Jacqueline X - posted on 02/22/2013



0 here's how my story evolved... (only reflects the results of hostile aggressive parenting and DV).... They will never leave it alone... there is a website that may be helpful... I love it and wish I could return to court with this information... but they are refusing to allow me to file a petition... CROOKS! maybe that will help... it seems like at least you and him "talk"... this will bring least!

Holly - posted on 01/29/2013




best way to deal with an abusive ex that you are having to share parental time with your child is through EMAILS anything that is lifethreatening you can call about, but anything that can wait until later can be done through email, so that you have written proof of EVERYTHING said. exchange child in a public place and do not speak to him.

Angela - posted on 01/29/2013




I'm not 100% sure here whether he resents you because he was prosecuted for being violent towards you or if he's angry because you were the one violent to HIM?

I wouldn't know what to advise.

Hope someone can guide you positively with this.

Good luck!

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