Is anyone going through this?

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

I have a 16 year old daughter and she doesn't like to go anywhere but really wants to get out. She was born with a cleft nose and she has insecurities about the way she looks. It's been tough for me as her mom watching her go through this. She is home schooled for about 4 years now and has no social skills. I've tried to get her to do things with me but she ends up staying in the car even to go to the store. I am trying to guide her but I am so lost and don't know what to do. I have tried to get her to talk to a counselor but she refuses to go. I have never gone and talked to someone about how all this is breaking my heart. My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years. He is her daddy. We got married at 18 years old. We all love each other so much. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Jessica


[deleted account]

You might need to make her see a counsellor. It will be hard because she will resist and may even get aggressive or very weepy, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It isn't healthy for a girl of her age to be so isolated from other young people. I realise that as her Mum you have wanted to protect her and shelter her but as she is on the cusp of adulthood, it is time to get her out into the big wide world. She will need to be able to work to support herself at some stage in the future so take that "cotton wool" wrapping off her and help her to be strong. Try to find out if there is a support group for young people who have physical differences that may be able to help her gain some confidence about showing her face in public. Is the cleft severe or is she just over-sensitive about it? Does she have any friends at all who can coax her into going out, just starting with small outings and getting to be longer and with more people as she gets comfortable. I wish you luck.

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