Is is ok to leave my 7 month old with my husband and mother-in-law?

Rebecca - posted on 03/19/2011 ( 227 moms have responded )

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I had a trip scheduled to Europe, for a two week study-abroad program. The trip is not necessary of course, but an amazing deal and opportunity. My daughter will be 7 months when I leave and my husband will have her. He has a very flexible schedule and will be with her 85% of the time, but my mother-in-law also agreed to stay for the two weeks to help him. Is this ok for the baby? I'm debating whether to go at all.

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Carolyn - posted on 03/19/2011

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Audrey did you really just say that if she goes away fro 2 weeks her 7 month old will completely forget her and all mommy bonds will be erased ? I just wanna make sure i read that right...

I highly doubt that a child will forget their mother after 2 weeks apart. A mother's smell is instinctly ingrained in babies. The sound of their voice, touch etc. I find it highly improbable that a mother who has been a part of their child's daily life will be forgotten in a matter of days. People travel without their children all the time, infants and older, and I have never heard of their kids forgetting who their parents are.

its one thing to forget who aunty Jane is who baby only sees 1x a month and make strange, but were talking about mom here.

Rebecca, do what you gotta do, so long as that little girl is cared for, have at it. Its a couple of weeks, you will feel great about it, and no regrets a like " i should have gone" " i wish i could have gone" yeah you will miss your baby , but your bond will still be there when you get back :)

Jocelyn - posted on 03/19/2011

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I see no reason why you shouldn't. She's going to be left with her dad and her grandma, people she knows and trusts.
I think it'll be harder on YOU :P

Jennifer - posted on 03/19/2011

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your little one is only 7 weeks old hun, she probebly wont even notice ur gone, i wouldnt stress about it too much seeing as ur only going to be gone for two weeks, i think it will be harder on you than ur LO, dont worry about it, becuase of the age she is, she wont have any memory of u being gone, i think it will be harder on u than her, go and have fun, a chance like this only comes once in a lifetime, and she will always be there :)

Jinnie - posted on 03/21/2011

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Audrey, you are completely wrong. The baby will not forget her mother for only being gone 2 weeks, and a two week absence certainly won't undo all the bonding. A mother-child bond, when done correctly, is stronger than steel. If "unbonding" was possible, or if a child would forget their parent after just 2 weeks, then I would have absolutely zero bond with my 3 children, nor would my husband have any bond, for we are both active duty military and have been on plenty of deployments and other temporary duties that took us away from our children. Our children are 18, 14, and 11. Even my 22 year old step son, who has a developmental delay, never forgot his own father when he was a baby. That was absurd, and I really hope, Rebecca, that you do not take Audrey's words to be anything more than a scare tactic. I'm with the other girls, if you want to do this, and you trust your husband and mother-in-law (which I'm pretty sure you can otherwise you wouldn't even be considering it), then honey go and have a great time! Learn as much as you can, and take advantage of this rare opportunity. They can all live without you for 2 weeks mommy, I'm sure of it!

Jacqui - posted on 03/20/2011

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oh and for LISA....... why? i am baffled by your response! She is not leaving never to return, its a 2week break. I think you have some abandonment issues of your own to sort out :(

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227 Comments

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Amanda - posted on 03/28/2011

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Absolutely you should go. Your daughter will be well cared for with her father and her grandmother. It will also show to your husband that you trust him to take care of your daughter without you around.

Veronica - posted on 03/28/2011

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if it is your husband and he supports your decision to go study and its a once in a lifetime opportunity and I say go and you can video chat with him while you away for those two weeks and I say go for it..It is only two weeks

Vicki - posted on 03/28/2011

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Your mother in law raised your husband. Did she do ok? If so go for the trip

Tamara - posted on 03/28/2011

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Go! What an opportunity! She won't remember you ever left...I'm hoping you have weaned her already if you were breast feeding as this would be a difficult transition for her and your husband and mil. Grab the opportunity while you can!

Beth - posted on 03/28/2011

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yes, the baby is with family and in good hands. Enjoy yourself and take this opportunity while you have it. She's so young she won't even remember you were ever gone.

Bobbie Jo - posted on 03/27/2011

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I think you should go and enjoy yourself. Your husband and daughter will be fine. I'm sure your husband will enjoy the one on one time with your daughter and she is so young she is not gonna remember that you left so you will have a nice story to tell her when she is older.

Elona - posted on 03/27/2011

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I think it depends on what your daughter is used to and what you're comfortable with. If your daughter is bottle fed and spends a lot of time being cared for by her dad, that's a lot different than if she's breastfed and spends all of her time with you. For me, I never could have possibly done that since my daughter was still exclusively breastfeeding at that time and wouldn't take a bottle. I think that if she's primarily under your care every day it might be hard on her to be away from you that long - but only you know your own circumstances. To this day (and my daughter is 2 1/2!) I haven't been apart from her for a night because she's still nursing and I just don't feel right about it. But that's me and my family. Always, the most important thing is to trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel good to go, don't. If you feel excited about it and are just worried, but deep down know she's gonna be fine, then go. Nobody can tell you what's right for your family. Only you and your husband know!

As for me, I cannot wait until I can get a full weekend away!!!

Kristal - posted on 03/27/2011

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if you're breastfeeding at all I wouldn't go. Personally I think keeping the baby secure in knowing mommy isn't going to leave her is more important. If she's in daycare at all though, then I"m sure she's used to time away from you, and formula or pumped milk.. and therefore I would say she would be fine. It's up to your judgement tho, how do YOU feel about leaving HER, cuz either way she really will be ok.

Nicole - posted on 03/27/2011

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Of course it's ok! Sure the child is young, but if it's a chance towards giving your child a better future in any way, than you should take it. You shouldn't feel guilty about it either! You will be leaving her with responsible people, and guardians who are already role models in the childs life. So go for it girl, do what you gotta do, I'm sure you deserve it anyways :)

Karen - posted on 03/27/2011

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Go for it, it is only two weeks and it is not like you are planning to leave your daughter with strangers who don't care for her. There will be lots of times when you have to give up what you want to do and compromise for your family, if this doesn't have to be one of them that is great, I believe anyone makes a better parent if they are happy in themselves. Your husband and mother in law are are two people who also love your daughter iso they are not going to let any harm come to her and it is a good opportunity for some special bonding time for each of them.

Janet - posted on 03/27/2011

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Absolutely!! Go and do your thing. Remember the old saying...absence makes the heart grow fonder. You baby will be so happy to see you when you get back and you will be happier knowing that you did something for yourself and still have the love of your little girl when you get back,. Besides, it will give her some great bonding time with Daddy!!

Nanette - posted on 03/27/2011

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There are always opportunities for study abroad but you will only have this time with your baby. If it was me I would delay the trip, and be a mom. Babies are bonding, changing and need a consist environment.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/26/2011

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If you have the opportunity, and your husband is willing to stay with the baby with help from your mother-in-law, by all means go! The baby will be fine.

Rosaline - posted on 03/26/2011

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I feel it would I know if it was me I would love it, bring me closer to my Grandchild and good for the dad.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/26/2011

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First you should pray about it because God will give you peace and direction on what to do...
Everyone is different and each child is different in the aspect of need. Remember you are only going for two weeks, I'm sure you will be calling so baby can hear your voice on the phone...
I sounds like she is just as secure with your husband as with you since his work is so flexiable.. Does your child suffer from separation anxiety?? I think that is an important question to ask yourself....remember if God gives you peace then you wont look back and have negative things to say....Gather all the wisdom that is being shared with you....it sounds like you have a supporting family....aloha

Ericka - posted on 03/26/2011

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I think you should go and study more. It's for your future by the way. She'll be alright. When you'll be back home, she might not recognize you immediately but it's ok, it's part of the deal.

Yaminah - posted on 03/25/2011

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Once in a lifetime opportunity, as long as shes with trustworthy adults that will nurture her, she will be fine.

Paula - posted on 03/25/2011

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Go. My husband and I had an opportunity to do the same thing when our baby was 2.5 months. We left the baby with my mother and he was fine. It was hardest for ME - I couldn't stand to hear his 'voice' over the phone! But he is 6 now and of course has no memory of us being gone. This was my second child (my oldest was 16 at the time), so I'm sure it was easier for me than it will be for you, but don't deny yourself an important opportunity you may always regret. Especially since your husband will be with the baby most of the time!

Elena - posted on 03/25/2011

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It is not about who will forget whom. It is about the stress the child might go through. Her sleep routine can change as well as her appetite. She might be more irritant and cranky. She might cry a lot and this will stress out the whole family. She can also be all fine till the time you come back and then you will notice a difference in behavior. All in all, I do not recommend leaving a baby unless it is an emergency and there is no other options.

La Monica - posted on 03/25/2011

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I went to Europe last year and that was the 1st time I left my family for 2 weeks. Of course, my children were 22, 19, 18, 16, 14. I left them with their father, my husband and told them that this was a chance of a lifetime for me plus it was required in order for me to graduate. When I got back it brought us closer.
It was great to have that break from family for me to get closer to God because I have never flown anywhere then my first flight be international. I had to trust God to take care of my family and have some time with out being pulled in every direction. One thing I believe is that children will never forget their parents there is always going to be some type of connection.

[deleted account]

Of course its okay, all your babygirl will want is to be fed, changed and loved.All of which she will get.Don't beat yourself up, go and enjoy.You will back in no time to be with your daughter.Mom, it is okay to leave her with your loving husband and mother-in law.:-)

[deleted account]

Trust me, you will want the break by then. I don't know why it would hurt the baby. Remember there are many military families that are frequently separated. Some fathers aren't even there when their baby is born. Even mothers have to leave their children behind. It will be okay.

Take off and enjoy yourself. Keeping in touch with your family will be so much easier now with the computer and internet. If you can try using Skype so you can talk to your daughter and see her (if you both have computers with web cams).

Brittany - posted on 03/25/2011

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Seeing as how your mother-in-law raised your husband and he seems like a stand-up guy I am sure all will be well. Enjoy your study, furtherer your education so you can provide and better life for your baby and husband. Wish I could go :)

[deleted account]

Just a few questions only you can answer....do you breast feed?..this would have been a deal breaker for me...how comfortable are you with the choices your mother-in-law will make for her?...two weeks is not a huge amount of time....especially if she is used to being in the care of others...just decide how important this trip is for the future of your family...good luck!

[deleted account]

You should definitely go! It sounds like an amazing opportunity and it's only two weeks! It will be harder on you than it will be on your daughter.

Gina - posted on 03/25/2011

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It's only going to be for 2 weeks ----- Go! I think your husband and mother-in-law can handle her.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/25/2011

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I don't see anything wrong with it as long as it is not causing conflict with your family. It would be different if you were taking off just to goof off. But you are studding and right now it sounds like something you can afford to do. But if you are having second thoughts then something is bothering you about it. Pray about it and talk it over with your husband. But I assure you it will not effect the baby.

Suzy - posted on 03/25/2011

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Would you leave them looking after your sports car? if the answer is yes, then I think they are probably perfectly capable of dealing with all a 7 month old child can throw at them! Have fun and DON'T feel guilty..x

Margaret - posted on 03/25/2011

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In my opinion, any separation starts to break bonds with one this little

Liz - posted on 03/25/2011

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Yes, but I would let him have a larger roll in her care between now and when you leave to gradually adjust your baby to your absence.

Jean - posted on 03/25/2011

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Have you thought about taking your hub and child with you? Make it a family affair. Could even take mother in law too. That way you and your hub could go out to dinner alone. Just a thought.

Jenny - posted on 03/25/2011

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Of course it is ok, as long as you think they are capable of taking care of her. No one does it like Mom, but it may also give her some good bonding time with her Dad.

Lori - posted on 03/25/2011

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I couldnt do it, but that's just me. I just feel that the baby is too young, and definitely too little to understand why mommy is gone for so long. But, everyone else is right, she will be in good hands, so if you can deal with being away for that long, then enjoy your trip and know that she will be waiting with open arms when you get back.

Brenda Ann - posted on 03/25/2011

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Take the opportunity, your child will still be there when you return and will be delighted to see you. A little break from your children/child will not harm them.

Aimee - posted on 03/25/2011

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I think the key factor is whether or not she is breastfed. If you can pump enough, or if she's already on formula, then it's physically okay for you to leave. (If you are breastfeeding, though, bring a manual pump or be prepared to hand-express to avoid mastitis.) Other than that, just prepare yourself emotionally and have a plan with your husband, like skype dates every morning, so that you can stay connected.

Ann - posted on 03/25/2011

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if you can cope with the seperation and are 100% sure your daughter will be ok as with her granma and Daddy as i guess she will be then go. 1t sounds to me like a trip of a life time.

Rosemarie - posted on 03/25/2011

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Of Course It Is All Right!!! You are leaving the child with her FATHER and her Grandmother for heavens sake. You will be giving your husband an experience of a life time. He and your mother in law will have the chance to bond with her and have quality time with her that they would not be able to have with you around taking care of the baby. You should be able to go and enjoy the experience knowing that your daughter is safe and sound with 2 people who love her and will take care of her as good as you would. Your daughter will enjoy this experience with her Daddy also.

Shani - posted on 03/25/2011

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You should go but you know best as to how well your husband and mother in law do things and are they on the same page as you are in keeping to your routine etc with your daughter. If thats taken care off then book your flights today. have a great 2 weeks,

Joanbezuidenhout - posted on 03/25/2011

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Hi Rebecca, you do have a wonderful opportunity for the 2 week study abroad and as it is for such a short while - and the baby will be with your husband and mother-in-law - and
they are in agreement and willing to support you - although you will miss her terribly and vice-versa - if you feel this will
benefit you and necessary for a particular reason - then I don`t see any harm in it. The decision does rest completely with you - but opportunities don`t always come a person`s
way and as long as it is going to benefit you and cause no
problems in the family - I would say take it - BUT I always
pray about anything and everything and God always seems
to give me the right answer. Weigh up the (FOR and AGAINST) the opportunity and see which one seems the right answer for you. God bless you as you have a difficult decision to make and hope as long as you have your husband`s approval - that is important. Joan

Erin - posted on 03/25/2011

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go go go!! she will still be with a parent and children need to be with their grandmas for quality time as well. this trip sounds like an amazing opportunity and something you were really looking forward to- happy mommies make for better mommies and you deserve to enjoy yourself! me and my husband left our 18 month old with my sister in law and her grandparents to go on our honeymoon and although we missed her dearly she was wonderful and really enjoyed her family. good luck with your decision- if you go i think it will be harder on you than your daughter :)

Trayawn - posted on 03/25/2011

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I meant to say it it is A ok for your daughter to stay with her Father and Grandmother. I apologize for the typo. I am using a touchscreen phone and I am pretty sure you know how that is.

Trayawn - posted on 03/25/2011

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Yes! Your baby will be in good hands. It's not like your leaving her with anybody. It is A ok for your daughter to stay either get Father and Grandmother.

Karen - posted on 03/25/2011

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And if you are 'debating' whether or not to go your instincts are obviously telling you that it's not the best idea for the baby. Look into postponing this opportunity until a more appropriate time for the most important ones in your life...and when you choose to have children then they must top the priority list in my belief.

User - posted on 03/24/2011

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I left my baby with daddy (and nanny) for a trip to Spain when a family crisis hit. I felt very torn between staying and going, esp as i was still breastfeeding. I stored enough EBM and took a pump and never regretted my decision. My baby spend a lot of time with daddy which he loved and when I came back was happy to see me but not at all desperate. My husband showed him photos of me every day and it really was fine. Good luck with your decision

Thubelihle - posted on 03/24/2011

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I've left my babies with family members, especially my mom & dad, my sister, my aunts from age 3 months and I never experienced any problems, go ahead and have fun.

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