is it fair to ask my husband to see his kids every other weekend

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

Well I married my husband almost 6 years ago, 2 years into the relationship was hell he had his 5 kids every weekend starting at 6 pm on friday it was always about where they want to go and do and they never agreed on anything he never tells them off and if he does he would do it the wrong way and hell would break loose i always tried to calm things down never being nasty to them always cooked for them and did the washing and the cleaning through out the weekend the worst thing was when my husband would put his 6 year old in bed with us it would be so uncomfortable and i told him but he would continue to do it and i felt too guilty to make him remove his son from the bedroom i was too young to stand for myself my most regret is i allowed him to do this on the first night i moved in with him, i would always spend half of the night on a small sofa.
anyway 4 years ago his older daughter who was 16 back then was acting out all day because she ordered the wrong dress for prom and could not find another one in time so she was in a bad mood and when she was told to sleep in different room she started swearing and screaming and it was all dramatical when her had decided to take her mobile off her for being rude she went mad because she didn't want him to see all the text that she sends to her mum about getting as much money as possible from dad anyway she ran outside and rang her mum and her mum rang the police and told them her ex attacked their daughter they somehow convinced his second oldest child to go along with it and it made him a witness which meant my husband got arrested anyway we got dragged trough court and he was found not guilty after 16 months his 2 eldest stood in court and tried to put him in prison. now that he is back seeing the 3 younger they have being coming more and more often and recently even the older boy who stood against his dad in court is coming to visit for the last 3 weeks and surprise surprise he needs help with rent in uni and money which his dad said yes to. i am no longer as evolved with his kids as i used to be i invested a lot in those kids and the only thing i got is a testimony in court that i am not a bad stepmum all those hours i spent cleaning and cooking and catering for those kids and all i get is not bad, mind you i am not 35 years old or 40 i was only 18 when i married i needed someone to look after me and take me places that i want to go.
Long story short now the only thing that i am asking of him is that they get a weekend and i get the next is this fair or am i being a bitch, he thinks its not fair and he should spend more time with them to make up for the lost time as if its my fault his daughter sued him who would give me my lost time am i not to have 2 weekends in a month with my husband to do with as i please in peace i dont want to have kids of my own just so i can have a life why should i wast it on an other women's kids while she is in the arms of her boyfriend considering she wanted a lot of kids in her life not me.


Michelle - posted on 04/28/2015




You married a man with children and you knew what you were getting in to. No it's not fair to ask your husband to reduce the amount of time he spends with his children.
I understand you don't want children of your own but he obviously loves children and he has every right to spend as much time with them as possible. If you want time without children then find someone who doesn't have any.

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