is it just me ?

Helen - posted on 04/17/2012 ( 92 moms have responded )

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please respond in an adult manner every one is entitled to their own opinion i do NOT wish to start arguments just to ask you views on adoption in a previous post i was slated for my opinion being against adoption i believe it is wrong i understand different reasons ect my grandma gave my dad up for adoption luckily we see her now which is great however i just dont see it being a good thing i was very young with my first baby and did not have a great deal of money ect but i MADE it work i truly believe if you do not wish to bring a child into this world you should undergo every means available to not allow your self to get pregnant i have four children and do not wish for any more so i made sure i cant have any more if all methods fail its meant to be that its gods will for you to be a mommy any body else feel the same and please lets not be aggressive about this please its just about opinions

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Sharon - posted on 04/18/2012

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They should "have to keep" the baby???? What a sad life-to be raised by someone who "had" to keep you whether they wanted you or not. Keeping a baby should not be a punishment for getting pregnant. I agree that people should make every effort not to get pregnant if they don't want to keep and raise a baby. But that's a utopian view of the world. It happens anyway and the child should not to be made to suffer. A person who wants to travel without the burden of a baby is going to be a crappy parent anyway--and they should NOT be forced to keep the child that they will probably neglect and resent.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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??? WTF? I actually don't have either the time or inclination to google it. I don't need to because I'm not the one trying to *set the record straight*, other than to tell you those stats proved nothing. Right now I am busy googling for a Uni assignment I have to complete today, I just happened to be following this conversation. The fact is, your stats proved nothing about abortion rates pre Roe vs. Wade. Period. Don't get pissed off at me because I called you out on making a statement you can't prove.



Moral of the story, don't call people out, tell them they are wrong, tell them you are going to set the record straight, and then provide statistics that don't exactly prove anything either.



The fact is, there ARE no accurate stats on illegal abortion. It was illegal. Why would people own up and put it on record? Therefore, there IS no way to compare the two accurately.

Kate CP - posted on 04/18/2012

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"Was raised in addicts home,my step father beat the shit out of me for 13 yrs but at least he loved me..."

America, that is fuckin' sick. You have a twisted view of love.

Krista - posted on 04/18/2012

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it just baffles me how a mother having just given birth would not look at that baby and fall in love give it the world and make it the most important being of all i live for my children i just dont understand how any one could not

In some cases, they adopt out their babies BECAUSE they love them so much, and know that they are not capable of providing the child with the basic necessities of life, and so decide to make that sacrifice in the hopes that the baby will be adopted by a family who will be able to give him or her a loving, stable home.

Kate CP - posted on 04/18/2012

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So...would you rather have a woman just abort a baby because she can't raise a child? There's a saying about beggars being choosers. If a woman falls pregnant with an unwanted child her options are already kinda limited. To tell a woman she HAS to raise a baby, or continue a pregnancy, is wrong. If a woman was raped and doesn't want an abortion but doesn't want to raise the baby what would you suggest?

Some women who get pregnant never bond with their babies...and they don't love their children. Some women who get pregnant are drug addicts or mentally unfit to be a mother. Some women were raped and can't stand the thought of raising their rapist's baby. Some women were no more than a child themselves when they got pregnant.

Adoption is a wonderful option for those who want a baby but can't have one. Or for a family who just wants to open their hearts and home to more than just their biological children. What a beautiful gift to be able to give a child love and kindness when he or she would otherwise be doomed to a life of pain and hatred.

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Holly - posted on 10/23/2012

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I am not going to ARGUE with you about but i will state my opinion... I think that adoption is a better method that abortion. And even though you are a decent person, i think that If a woman has made horrible life style choices for herself (i.e. prostitute, drug dealer, gang member, stripper, homeless) i think it would be beneficial for the child to be given up for adoption... I can't STAND that women use ABORTION as a method of birth control. I don't think that adoption should be used either, but killing a living thing, just because you can't keep your legs together is an ATROCIOUS thought

Lara - posted on 10/23/2012

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I can understand where you are coming from but I am grateful for adoption. Without it, I would never be a mom. I have struggled greatly with the fact that I am unable to reproduce but people who dont even want children can. People who abuse and neglect their kids seem to have amazing fertility. For someone like me, it s a continual slap in the face. My husband and I were matched three times with young women who thought about adoption but later decided to parent. It was heartbreaking for us but we understood because we couldn't imagine being in their place and giving a child away. I think most of the women who choose to place their child do so because they truly believe it is best for them. It is a much better option than being a neglectful or abusive parent and some people know they cant handle to responsibility. As for your comment to preventative methods, you would think that people atleast in the us would be aware of those but many apparently are not or have decided to believe that it wont happen to them until it does. Some of these moms choose adoption and others choose to parent. It is a choice and should be without condemnation. I think a woman who is willing to give someone else such a gift should not be condemned. I like to think that one of the greatest things about america is our ability to choose whats best for us.

Jazmyne - posted on 10/21/2012

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so according to you I should have kept my rape baby at age 10 because it was God's will? I'm sorry I did what I thought was best for him, not for you.. Sorry if this seems harsh but this post just rubs me the wrong way.

AMY - posted on 10/17/2012

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I adopted my step-daughter and it has been such a blessing to me as I am unable to have children of my own. I have had her since she was 2 months old and her mom has always been on drugs and has had other things better to do. She knows her bio-mom and I would never keep the bio-mom from seeing her, but she never wants to see her, so...... I think adoption is wonderful. Abortion however is another issue.

Tami - posted on 08/09/2012

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i think women who choose to give up a child for adoption should be admired!

to each their own whatever each women chooses is what they think is best for them.
sometimes an opps happens or maybe you planned the baby with a this wonderful man and that changes and your just in now way able to raise a baby

i dont think a women should be looked down on because she choose to bless a couple with a baby she didnt feel she could provide for

Tracy - posted on 06/23/2012

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You said "if all methods (of birth control) fail it's meant to be that it's gods will for you to be a mommy" and that you are against adoption. What about those women who would die to have a child but their bodies - for whatever their personal reasons (or their husband's bodies) - are unable to produce a child? Under your life view of a combination between god's will and adoption shouldn't exist, then these couples wouldn't have an opportunity to become parents. Under a "no adoption" belief, a child may be born into a family where the parents can't afford them (or worse, resent them) but the birth parents raise the child anyway. Meanwhile, a childless couple who have prepared for a child for years (like my cousin already with a large college fund for a child they may never have) will never be given one. How can adoption always be a bad option? My husband was adopted. He had a good life but who knows what he would have been raised in if he hadn't been given up.

Helen - posted on 04/19/2012

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right im closing this there is no need to argue over statistics its silly guys i just wanted your views not bitching for Christ sake

Karla - posted on 04/19/2012

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Just for the record:

Laura, "You are absolutely right about the stats. Would you like to supply the stats on how many illegal abortions were performed prior to 1973?"

I assume you mean in the USA because 1973 was the year of Roe vs. Wade.

Prior to Roe vs Wade abortion in the USA was illegal in 30 states, and legal in certain cases in 20 states.

I have a little time to google "abortion prior 1973" and I found this from http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/...
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"Criminalization of abortion did not reduce the numbers of women who sought abortions. In the years before Roe v. Wade, the estimates of illegal abortions ranged as high as 1.2 million per year.1 Although accurate records could not be kept, it is known that between the 1880s and 1973, many thousands of women were harmed as a result of illegal abortion".

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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Actually, no, I am not in America :) And I don't think that how common adoption is has any bearing on people's views. I am in Australia, and adoption here is incredibly difficult, so not common at all. But I have no issues with it, and would actually actively encourage it in an instance where the biological parents were not suited to parenting the child.

In the link below, I give you a damn good reason why adoption is sometimes preferable.
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/par...

The trouble is, however, that people with attitudes about it such as yours actually contribute to the shame some mothers experience when considering adoption as an option in their decision making. And then it leads to situations such as the above, and various other abusive situations. We needs to stop believing people are wrong about their individual choices. Personally, I wouldn't ever have a baby and adopt it out. But that is me, in my cultural environment, in my particular circumstances, at my age, and so on. But I would never presume to impose my belief for ME onto another person when it comes to the issue of whether they wish to keep their baby or not. And I do not believe it is wrong or selfish for them to choose not to.

Helen - posted on 04/18/2012

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at what point did i say everybody had to agree with me i didnt hun i just dont understand the need for bitching i half expected every one to disagree i was just curious if any body felt how i do about it i know folk will repond in what way they see fit there is just no need for nastiness about it everyone is fully allowed their own thoughts on the matter no arguments or LOL need to be put what ever posts are on here folk always manage to make an argument out of it which is daft can we not all be adult about it and have a friendly discussion and understand each of us do have diff views on life yes i dont think adoption is right perhaps after reading these posts i may come to think it is may be ok in very certain circumstances however mainly i think its not ideal i live in england and am guessing majority of you on this post live in america maybe over there adoption is more common who knows im not one for judging if you all believe its right then so be it i do not intend to cause offence to any one having experience with it or not or being adopted them selves good luck to you all and stay strong with your beliefs i do that is what makes us our own person

Karla - posted on 04/18/2012

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Excuse me, I'm responding to the OP without reading the thread.

I'm not trying to be a smart ass, so I hope it doesn't come off that way: I find it ironic that a person, who wouldn't exist in this world if not for a woman who had a baby but gave him up for adoption, has such a negative opinion of adoption.

Even though I agree that adoption comes with many complications, I also think that many, many people are raised and live in less than ideal situations, therefore I am not willing to condemn the practice of adoption. Basically, we can't always have ideal circumstances and that's okay.

I wonder what happened with your dad's adoption that may be making you so negative about the whole process? -- Now I'll go back and read the thread and hopefully learn the answer to that question.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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LOL, Helen, when you post a controversial statement like this, you will get responses you didn't ask for. You also can't dictate the type of response you get, the questions people will ask or the various discussions that will take place. You will also get people who disagree with something someone says, or people who will interpret statistics incorrectly and get called out for it. Conversations on this site evolve.

Helen - posted on 04/18/2012

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thank you to most of you for your replays and opinions to those who wish to bitch to each other or put silly remarks please grow up i didnt ask for statistics or questions my posts are not VERY HARD to read due to poor punctuation at all seeing as not all of you passed that comment !! it baffles me that grown women manage to always find something to bitch a bout in a simple post as for me telling you all how to respond it was mealy an example thanks again to those who did respond in an adult manner everyone is fully entitled to their opinion

Medic - posted on 04/18/2012

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For some of you to say adoption is bad because you don't know what kind of parents the child is going to get need to think about the flip. Not all biological parents are fantastic. Some actually down right suck. I am adopted, was at 4 days old. I know my birth mom and she is actually one of my best friends. I totally understand why she did it, she picked my parents and she did a pretty amazing job at that. She put me up for adoption because she loved me more than she loved herself, to keep me would have been horribly selfish. My son has been adopted by my husband because my ex was not able to be a parent to him. Is that wrong? Hell no. Should my son have to suffer with a drug addic father? nope. For ever horror story of adopted children there is a horror story from biological children. For every adopted child that is fucked up there is one that was not and is STILL fucked up. You are mearly looking at the bad and for that I feel sorry. Adoption is one of the most selfless loving things a parent can do for a child, it proves that they want the best for their child. My ex signing over his rights to my son is the ONLY selfless act of love for him that my ex has ever done. But I will let you know when I magically become messed up in the head over it.

Amanda - posted on 04/18/2012

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I'm adopted. My adoptive parents were unable to have more than one child (She already had at least 3 miscarriages before carrying my brother to term). It was a very loving family, and now, at age 42, I'm very close to my mom and my brothers. My husband was adopted, because his adoptive father had low sperm count.



You talk about "gods will for you to be a mommy" - did you ever stop to think that perhaps it's God's will that the child be born (or not), so that the birth mother can give it up to a family that truly wants it? God's will isn't just about the baby - it's supposed to also involve the mother, the father, the family, the community... You can't pick and choose what is or isn't God's will. Maybe it was God's will that another woman carries the baby a hopeful parent comes to adopt.

Johnny - posted on 04/18/2012

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I can not understand for the life of me why people would think it is a good idea to force people into parenthood. The very idea is utopian, narcissistic (why doesn't everyone feel exactly like I do? lol), and utterly impractical.



First of all, it won't succeed. They will find a way to abandon the children they do not want. Of course, if it is illegal to abandon the child, they won't be left in a safe place such as the front step of a police station or a hospital emergency room. You'll just be finding little baby/child bodies in dumpsters and under overpasses. That will be lovely. You may not be aware, but some of the first orphanages were started in Rome because there were so many bodies of babies floating in the Tiber River. People should really obtain more historical knowledge about what happened in the past to children who were not wanted. In the history of almost every nation are notes about problems with abandoned children on the streets and the bodies of babies scattered around.



Secondly, not everyone shares the same beliefs, the same emotional reactions, the same physical reactions. I am currently pregnant after trying for a long time to have another child. I would go to any length to protect the life inside me. But that is about me. To expect every other woman to share my joy at being pregnant or the ecstasy I felt the first time my daughter was placed in my arms is completely ridiculous. For some women, being pregnant, for whatever reason is a curse. They do not feel love for what is growing inside them. Or they may love that baby very very much, but know that they will not be able to be a good mother and give up the child in the hopes of giving it a better future.



Things do not always turn out the way you want them to. Adoptions may go badly. Sometimes relationships with much loved biological children end up badly. There are no guarantees in life. But forcing people to care for children against their will has a fairly high likelihood of ending up as a total clusterfuck. There are statistics, not just anecdotal stories, to back this up.



I will say that I have known people who had wonderful adoptive families and grew up very happy, people who did okay but whose adoptive families struggled a bit, and one person who ended up in foster care because the adoptive mother turned out to have bi-polar disorder that kept getting worse. One of these was my college boyfriend. His family struggled, his adoptive mom was great but his dad was distant and cold. He tracked down his bio mom and found out that she had be 17, sniffing glue, and drinking. She had kept the next 4 kids, who had been apprehended by CPS at various ages. She was a heavy alcoholic and could barely remember him having been born. He was pretty thankful that he'd been the one she gave up.



And just a note to the OP, you are welcome and free to post on any topic you wish. But this is an open forum and your respondents are also free to post their response in any way that they wish. I agree that it would be nice if the responses were kept on a polite level, but telling people the method in which they may respond is just obnoxious.

Ruth - posted on 04/18/2012

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I am for adoption. I am adopted myself and love my parents to bits. For me, adoption has been a good thing. They have been THE BEST parents that anyone could have, biological or otherwise. I have also recently met my biological mother and she is a wonderful lady, remarried and has two children (my half brother and sister). I could go the dark route and feel abandoned and not wanted or (as I have chosen) I see it as an opportunity for making my family larger. It just happens that in our situation we have both chosen to be open, respectful and accommodating and this has allowed our newly formed relationship to prosper.

I have two children of my own and I love that they have three grandmas and because my bio Mum was so young, they now have great grandparents as well. Back in the 70s, adoption was largely pushed upon young mothers who were pregnant out of wedlock but my bio Mum has also told me that I wouldn't have liked her back then, that she was too much of a rebel and black sheep. I can see now that she has become a wonderful parent but I am still so, so glad she chose to give me away.

You are no longer allowed to adopt children in Tasmania and parents are forced to foster their children out if they are not coping. One child I know has been with her foster parents since she was 6 months old. She calls them Mum and Dad. She is now 6yo and the monitored visits with her bio parents (who are still not fit to care for her) confuse her greatly and I can't help but feel she may be better off with an adoptive family.

If for some reason I could not have a third child, I would consider adopting because I feel our family is not finished and I figure that I have plenty of love and room in my heart that I would quite happily mother another child who was not fortunate enough to have that on tap already.

The world would be a boring place if we all thought the same but I always feel we should broaden our minds when it comes to issues that are not always black and white. I respect your opinion and I am happy that you are a strong woman who loves her children.

Tabitha - posted on 04/18/2012

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Lol, am I the only one here that had to google "snarky"? I've never heard that term before. I had gotten the jest of it judging by the context but it's a new one for me.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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Actually, let's be honest, your initial post when I called you out on your stats was snarky. If YOU want the stats, YOU google them. I couldn't care less.

Tabitha - posted on 04/18/2012

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Laura, I'm confused. Why post stats if they're inaccurate and don't help to prove your point anyway? And I agree with previous posters, your comment was uncalled for and downright rude.

[deleted account]

WTF is pretty common in ANY message board forum, not just CoM. Your insult was a direct bitch-slap. There's a difference.

Sherri - posted on 04/18/2012

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Sorry Laura but I agree with Sapphire your replies to Jodi are quite snarky and it really isn't called for. You are certainly not going to win any new friends speaking to people that way.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2012

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Sapphire, why would it matter if I am new? And I found Jodi's "WTF" to be quite a bit more than snarky.

[deleted account]

"You best get back to your Uni work. I wouldn't want to interrupt"



Wow Laura- that's pretty snarky of you, especially being a fairly new contributor to Circle of Moms.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2012

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Jodi, I am not pissed off, I just thought your excuse about not having time to google was lame. Frankly if you have time to type out these replies you have time to google for stats. If there aren't any out there, that's one thing. I just thought you were copping out. Which is annoying.



If you recall, I did concede that my stats didn't prove my point. I have no problem admitting that.



You best get back to your Uni work. I wouldn't want to interrupt.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2012

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Nice cop out Jodi. It takes "a lot" of time googling to find some stats on this stuff. Right. Okay, I'm out, not going to use this arena as a fighting ground. Back the adoption answers...

[deleted account]

To the original poster, Helen, I completely disagree with you.



There is nothing wrong with adoption if that is the choice a pregnant woman choses. There is nothing wrong with raising the baby if that is what the mother choses. There is nothing wrong with seeking an abortion, a LEGAL medical procedure, if that is what the mother choses.



Aren't we lucky (for the time being) that we live in a society where women have chocies as opposed to forced demands over our bodies?



There is no right or wrong answer-it is what each woman feels is best for her at that time in her life. Her decision has no impact on your (in general) life.



FTR- my husband was adopted at birth, and prior to our infertility struggles we also made it 1/2 way through the adoption process.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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Exactly. I was just trying to make the point that this statement Laura made was inaccurate:

"to set the record straight for those viewing her comments about abortion statistics, abortion numbers have significantly risen since it was made legal. Here is an archive of statistics with its source being published Us demographic reports"



It doesn't set any records straight.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/18/2012

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Beings that illegal activities are not well documented for obvious reasons, I don't think Jodi could possibly provide the accurate statistics that you are asking for.

Sharon - posted on 04/18/2012

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So you think you were better off with a stepfather who "beat the shit out of you" simply because he loved you? I'm sorry--but I don't think you beat the shit out of someone you love. You were just as abused as your brother.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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No, I'm not the one who quoted that they have decreased and I'm not the one trying to prove the point that they have increased with dud statistics. Not my problem, and I really don't have that time on my hands. I was merely pointing out that you had not proved your point.

Laura - posted on 04/18/2012

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@Jodi,

You are absolutely right about the stats. Would you like to supply the stats on how many illegal abortions were performed prior to 1973?

Stifler's - posted on 04/18/2012

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Exactly Shawwn it might be god's will for someone to have the baby instead of have an abortion and give them up for adoption to a person who cannot have children but would really love one.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/18/2012

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Whelp...if you don't like adoption as an option, i sure hope you are pro choice.

Betty - posted on 04/18/2012

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My biological mom was 16 when she had me. I was adopted at the age of three months. My adoptive parents were not wealthy, but they loved me very much. I think they did a better job than a 16 year old could have. I have two older brothers who were their natural born children so I had siblings as well. That being said, I wish I at least knew who my bio parents are. I think it's fine that you kept your baby, but I'm glad I had the parents I did. FWIW, adoptive parents aren't always perfect, but I don't think it's right to make a blanket statement that adoption is a bad thing.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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My cousins are adopted, and they have absolutely no interest in knowing their real parents. As far as they are concerned, their parents ARE their real parents. The see it less as how their real mother didn't want them and more as how their adoptive parents loved them enough to CHOOSE to parent them.

Crystal - posted on 04/18/2012

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Your grandmother had her reason for giving her son up for adoption, but can't imagine it being something she really enjoyed doing it was probably one of the hardest thing she ever did what ever her reason, think about women who were born with unconditional love and have the hardest time ever to concieve and misscarrige, I think they deserve a chance to share that love through adoption, we live in a time where there is so much homeless kids and if they can receive a better chance of a good life, I believe adoptin is the key

Crystal - posted on 04/18/2012

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Your grandmother had her reason for giving her son up for adoption, but can't imagine it being something she really enjoyed doing it was probably one of the hardest thing she ever did what ever her reason, think about women who were born with unconditional love and have the hardest time ever to concieve and misscarrige, I think they deserve a chance to share that love through adoption, we live in a time where there is so much homeless kids and if they can receive a better chance of a good life, I believe adoptin is the key

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2012

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@ Laura Evans



Those statistics you posted....did you read the bit where that plotted only legal abortions? So of course it looks like abortions have risen. It didn't plot the unknown and illegal ones.



"Plotted data includes:

abortions--known or estimated legal abortions occurring in the U.S."



So it really doesn't set the record straight at all. It certainly doesn't prove your point that abortion numbers have significantly risen since it was made legal. It only proves the point that LEGAL abortions have significantly risen since it was made legal (which was kind of the whole point of it). Actually, if we want to get technical, we could say that legal abortions have reduced significantly because it is on a downward pattern.

Dawn - posted on 04/18/2012

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I think adoption is good for women who are raped .. And for people who can't have kids however adoption is overused now a days. If you aren't mature and ready to have a kid its simple don't have sex. Many of the kids in adoption have teenage moms who don't want to be bothered with a kid because they want to party. Also some kids don't get adopted until they are older so these kids go without a family for years and years.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/18/2012

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I'd rather see adoption than abortion.

Think of it this way, Helen, its God's will that you get pregnant...Perhaps because you are meant to give that baby up for a couple who is physically unable to have children. Perhaps, just perhaps, that is part of God's will.

It was God's will that I not get pregnant for years, and to consider adoption. I think He wanted me to realize that a baby is a baby, regardless of its bloodline. Once I got over wanting one of my body, and was ready to adopt, I was blessed with a pregnancy of my own.

I believe that adoption is God's plan for unwanted babies.

Monique - posted on 04/18/2012

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I dont know why my phone thought to add words where they clearly do not belong so i apologize if my post was difficult to read.

Stifler's - posted on 04/18/2012

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I think adoption is a wonderful thing. My dad only has one cousin on his mums side and she is adopted. People who adopt REALLY want a kid. I think it's just plain mean to say that people who can't conceive should just never have kids because it's "God's will". You have 4 children so you have no idea what it's like to not be able to have a baby.

Gina - posted on 04/18/2012

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If we didn't have the option of adoption, we would have ALOT more abortions. Also some families who can not have their own child are given a second chance.

Catherine - posted on 04/18/2012

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i foster babies and i think adoption is a good thing , for the babies i have looked after there has been no chance of them going back to drug addicted or abusive mothers and adoption is the best outcome for the child . luckily all my babies so far have been placed with fantastic loving parents and im very thankful that they were no

t returned to birth parents

S. - posted on 04/18/2012

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I find this topic very interesting I live in England and putting your children up for adoption just isn't heard of, however we do have a large number of poor children in care that have been taken off un-fit parents. I believe we have a high abortion rate, the morning after pill is becoming very highly used now. I watch this amercan program 16 and pregnant and it show's both side's of the coin,it can't be easy giving up your child and I believe that when these 16 year olds give up there babies it is heart breaking and they have the babies interest in mind. My friend is adopting a 18 month old as the mum is unfit and I think it is fantasic she is getting this girl and giving her the life she should have but there's so many children in the system already which leads me to say how many more un wanted children will they be if adoption was more common here?
For me personally it would be no to adoption and if my 16 year old gave my grandchild away I would be heart broken but then I am all for "each to there own" who am I to decide whats right and wrong for others?

Sherri - posted on 04/18/2012

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Adoption can be an amazing thing!! It can give the blessing of a childless couple the chance to be parents. It can also be a option for a person not ready or capable of caring for a newborn. It can be a blessing in either direction. So no I don't agree with you in the least....sorry

September - posted on 04/18/2012

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If I were in my Mom's situation I would have done the exact same thing Monique. I find it sad that you're basing your opinion on adoption off of one experience you've had. Although it's a very sad experience not all adopted children go through that sort of thing.

Maggie - posted on 04/18/2012

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Monique- Im so sorry your family had to go through that. Im sorry your mother was forced to give up her baby, your brother. Sounds like she loved him and never stopped talking about him. I think this situation is alot different because of the times though..

Right now women are not being forced to give up there babies or sent away. They are given a choice. Your mother most likely would not have given up her baby for adoption if she had a choice, but the choice was already made for her. As you said it was forced.

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